My husband finally made my taboo fantasy come true. It was supposed to boost our sex life… but it ruined our marriage: DEAR JANE

Dear Jane,

After ten years of being married, intimacy with my husband has become so boring.

So for the past few months I’ve been desperately looking for ways to recapture some of the flavor we had when we first met, and to spice up our sex life now.

We tried just about everything under the sun, but nothing worked.

Then one of my friends suggested her secret trick that she swears works on her husband: they go to a bar and act like complete strangers, flirt with other people to stir up a little jealousy, and then go home together.

She insisted it was the only thing that brought the passion back into their relationship.

However, my husband was worried when I first suggested it because he didn’t know how he would feel if he saw me flirting with another man. But after much persuasion, I finally wore him down.

So one night we went to a hotel bar and started conversations with complete strangers. Things were going so well until I looked over and saw a woman with her hand on my husband’s arm. And he seemed to enjoy it a little too much.

I was filled with jealousy – and anger.

By the time we got home later, the last thing I wanted to do was jump into bed with him.

Days later I’m still angry. While this was my idea, I didn’t expect him to immerse himself so fully in the experience – and it completely backfired.

Rather than reviving our sex life, I fear this may have been the nail in the coffin.

Honestly,

Seeing red

Dear Seeing Red,

Ah, unintended consequences like this tend to come back and bite you in the butt.

I can imagine how angry you are, but I suspect a lot of that anger is directed at you – after all, you were the one who came up with this plan.

The idea of ​​being flirted with by a handsome stranger, with your husband’s permission, was probably quite tempting – and now you’re filled with regret.

But you will have to learn to let go of the fact that your husband may have enjoyed the experience.

Be brave enough to be honest with him. Tell him how that made you feel, how jealous it made you realize what a terrible idea it was.

However, this doesn’t mean you should stop thinking about how to boost your sex life.

One of the best ways is to find an exciting activity to do together, such as zip lining, rock climbing, go-kart racing, or some other form of fast-paced sport with an element of risk, which triggers a psychological response called arousal transfer.

When the two of you share an intense experience, the body responds with a rapid heartbeat and heavy breathing, and as strange as it may sound, your mind connects those strong physical feelings to the person standing next to you.

It’s a mix of adrenaline: the body doesn’t know whether it’s fear, excitement or sexual excitement.

While all relationships can become monotonous after a while, a new adventure, especially if you do it together, will get your blood pumping, your heart racing, and ultimately bring you closer together.