I have been with my partner for over 30 years and our relationship has the most important foundation: shared values, a similar outlook and a common ground on what is most important. Our anchor is strong, but like us approaching retirement and both work part-time from home, we strive for self-improvement to avoid stagnation in our routines. What is changing for us is the way we all want to expand ourselves now that we have more freedom and time.
While I focus on the physical: strength, vitality, movement, health, feeling capable and energetic in my body, my partner leans on the mental: curiosity, learning, ideas, creativity, reflection, exploring new thoughts, understanding the world and themselves more deeply.
The author focuses on physical growth. Thanks to Mick Jensen
Our interests complement each other
I don’t view our preferences as opposites; they are complements. One nourishes the body that carries you through life; the other nourishes the spirit that gives it meaning. Both are forms of growth, and both are very valuable.
We celebrate each other’s victories instead of comparing, encourage each other and learn from each other’s worlds. I tell her how much I admire her curiosity and love of learning, and ask questions so she can share. She lets me know how good it feels to see me strong, slim and active.
In my spare time I focus on maintaining my weight and challenge myself at the gym three times a week. I get on my mountain bike or hike up the mountains. I tell my partner what I did during my workouts, and we make a big deal about it walking together every dayeven in the rain.
My partner enjoys expanding her knowledge about health, therapies and natural remedies. Like me, she likes to walk or cycle, but not that often. Fortunately, we can all pursue our individual interests, grow and learn from each other, and come together to share experiences as we grow older.
The author’s partner enjoys learning about natural remedies. Thanks to Mick Jensen
We still spend a lot of time together and share our interests
Common goals and roles still apply in our relationship, and we still spend much of our free time together, pursuing our interests. I recently joined her on a keto diet and lost eight pounds, and she has Tried Pilateshigh-intensity interval training and meditation in recent months. I also enjoyed having my partner practice and refine some of her therapy techniques on me over the years. Whether it’s using Reiki for relaxation, the Bowen Technique to relieve pain and stress, or an herbal remedy for joint pain or digestive problems, these natural health therapies benefit us both.
We also like to share gardening and cooking tasks. We love camping, traveling and are actively interested in what our 21 year old daughter is up to. Nowadays we also recognize and respect each other’s space more, and the importance of solo time; our time together is growing, and it has more intention than when we were working full time.
I feel that becoming physically stronger and having better endurance makes me more capable and makes me feel alive and ready for whatever I tackle. My partner’s exploration of ideas and understanding the world fascinates her and makes our lives more meaningful and richer.
We see each other’s individual interests as shared love expressed differently, meaning there is no tension, just admiration. That is partnership at its best: the same destination, two beautiful ways to walk it.
After six decades on planet Earth, we both realize that a healthy life is built on a foundation where the mind and body can thrive together. I covered the body; my partner has the ghost covered. And together we have life and our relationship under control.
