When I was thirty, I moved back to my parents’ house. I never planned to stay long, but now I’m finding it hard to leave.

The day after Thanksgiving, I learned I had to leave my beloved century-old two-bedroom apartment in Kansas City.

My building was acquired by a management company in another state.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the start of one Hallmark movie in which the main character unites with her neighbors to successfully thwart a corporate takeover (while finding love along the way).

Instead, I found myself panicking about my next step, mourning the comfortable life I had so proudly built in the seven years I rented that space.

A few weeks later, my parents suggested that my cat and I move back in with me children’s home in the nearby suburbs. Even though living with my mom and dad in my 30s felt like it could be embarrassing or a huge step backwards, it felt like the best choice. So I did.

I only planned to stay for a few months, but it’s been four years now and leaving feels harder than I ever expected.

Financially, this setup has been a blessing

My parents live in a house on which they have been paying a mortgage for almost 30 years. It’s much cheaper than anything on the rental market, and my financial contributions aren’t even close to what I would pay if I lived somewhere else.

It also gives freedom from not having to chase roommates for their share of the rent. I cut back on my spending even more by no longer paying for WiFi or electricity bills, and doing laundry at home instead of at a laundromat.

My parents have always bought enough food for an entire household, even when they were empty nesters. This means that there is rarely a shortage of food, and my The grocery bill is lowerat.

Luckily, they also stock some great snacks and subscribe to a weekly meal from May through October Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) box full of organic products that I can’t get enough of.

To further contribute to the household, I am happy to provide support through physical labor and chores. Personally, I enjoy cooking, baking and grocery shopping for the family. I also run errands for my grandmother, who lives nearby, which allows me to contact her more regularly.

Our dynamic has changed and I enjoy being able to enjoy my parents in a new way

Lives with my parents in my thirties is very different from when I was a kid or even a teenager.

I had been away for several years, living in other cities and on my own, and that independence earned me more trust from my parents.

They now realize that for the most part I’m too old for rules. Over time, they have retreated from strict curfews and specific guidelines for chores. We were also able to have important conversations about expectations.

I’ve made it clear that respecting this household and keeping my parents informed about my plans is still important to me, but things may look different now that I’m older.

For example, when I first moved back, my father kept in constant contact with me. It was difficult to deal with, especially as I am a freelance creative with a varied social life and schedule.

Still, I can understand that a father is concerned about his child. A quick conversation about my age and level of responsibility helped us find common ground and build trust around checking in when necessary.

Sharing a space with my parents as an adult has also helped me see them as they are now, from a perspective so different and less selfish than the perspective I had in my adolescence.

I have had the opportunity to work with them and admire firsthand the career people they are. I enjoy their respective skills and hobbies, and even the lively debates we spark while watching a new TV show.

I wasn’t planning on staying long, but now I’m worried about how difficult leaving will be

Moving back home wasn’t such a step backwards after all. I was able to jump in gig economy with full strength, regularly contributing to the household chores and spending time with the family.

My ‘few months’ at home with my parents turned into four years.

While I have enough savings that will allow me to move and live comfortably, I have taken the time to find a stable living situation that makes sense for me.

However, leaving the house and all its comforts will be a lot harder this time than I thought.

But no matter where I end up, I will continue connect with my parentswhether I’m taking my mother to concerts or trying out new burger joints with my father. I will also still offer to pick up sticks from the river birch trees in their backyard that I made them promise not to throw away.

Everyone’s timeline is unique and circumstances are different. I feel lucky – I’m not ashamed – that I have family to fall back on. And my parents will (most likely) always be my favorite roommates.