We moved from Chicago to a much smaller city in the Midwest. It had many benefits, but not enough to keep us.

As a girl growing up on the South Side of Chicago, I was no stranger to the busy streets, sirens, and hustle and bustle of the city. city ​​life.

I loved the skyline, the fact that I could walk to my favorite restaurants and knew there was always something to do.

But about nine years ago, my husband and I felt it stuck in our careerand daily life began to seem more tiring than energetic.

While we were trying to figure out our next move, we visited my father in Lafayette, Indiana, a smaller town about two hours southeast of Chicago. To our surprise, he suggested we consider moving there with him.

My husband and I toyed with the idea for a few months, but we were hesitant because Chicago was where our support system was. Moving away from that familiarity seemed like a big risk.

But after we were both laid off, the idea of ​​starting over in a quieter, more affordable place felt less unrealistic.

No longer tied to Chicago for work, we packed our bags and used our savings to move to Lafayette. It felt like the reset we needed to take.

At first, Lafayette seemed like the answer to our burnout

Within a few months we both got jobs in the fields we struggled to break into in Chicago, which made the move feel good.

Plus, Lafayette gave us things Chicago didn’t: slower mornings and a sense of ease we didn’t know we were missing. The constant hum of traffic and sirens gave way to crickets and a starry sky.

Fewer than 100,000 people live in Lafayette, but Chicago has over 2.5 million residents – and we could feel the difference. Instead of sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic, we could now get to our favorite spots in minutes. In addition, we noticed much less foot traffic in shops and restaurants.

The feeling of safety and trust in the community also surprised us. Our neighbors even said hello, which was a change from the keeping-to-yourself nature I was used to in Chicago.

I became less concerned about car theft and other crimes, and we were dismayed to learn that some of our neighbors didn’t even lock their doors. One time we left our garage door open all day and nothing was touched.

And of course the affordability was a nice extra. We rented an apartment with newer amenities, multiple bathrooms, central air conditioning and a dishwasher for almost half the price of the apartment older apartments we were used to in Chicago.

But within a few months of living in Lafayette, the silence became its own kind of noise. Without the constant distractions I was used to, I was confronted with questions and thoughts I had avoided for years. By slowing down I learned the power of silence.

The lack of diversity eventually caught up with us. In many of the spaces we were in, there were only a few other Black people, who felt isolated. This was a big adjustment coming from Chicago, which is more culturally and racially diverse.

I missed hanging out with friends, going to my church, and all the familiar things that felt like home. Additionally, I was dealing with some health issues at the time, which made it difficult for me to socialize and form deeper connections with people in the community.

For a while, Lafayette was exactly what we needed: a reset and a bit of peace. But after six years we decided it was time to do that return to city life.

Returning to Chicago turned out to be exactly what we needed

Almost as if it were a sign, I received one new job in Chicago, and we moved in 2023.

The shift in the opposite direction was alarming. The stars disappeared, the long lines returned and the noise hit us hard after years of silence.

But comfort also returned: diversity, our favorite restaurants and the familiar rhythm of the city. Being back also meant reconnecting with old friends and family and returning to communities that felt familiar. There was a comfort in being surrounded by people, places and experiences that felt like home.

Looking back, Lafayette gave us more than peace: it gave us space to breathe, slow down, and grow in the careers we had been working toward. It taught us to find silence within ourselves, something we didn’t know we needed.

We learned that peace did not have to depend on how quiet our environment was; it could be because of the way we learned to deal with the noise around us.

Moving has taught me that sometimes you need distance to understand what home feels like.