When our youngest child graduated, my husband and I were overwhelmed with pride. There we were, two first-generation college graduates who had somehow managed to get both of our children into college.
But right next to that pride was another emotion: fear.
We weren’t afraid that they wouldn’t be successful; we have always believed in it. Our fear stemmed from knowing that a college degree doesn’t always translate into financial stability. This is especially true for some Black graduates entering a financial system that has historically not afforded Black families the same opportunities to build and pass on wealth.
So as I proudly watched my children cross the stage to receive their diplomas, I was already thinking about what would happen next. For us, that means continuing to pay their rent while they earn their money.
We have thought about this decision
Our decision to pay our adult children’s rent – 23 and 25 years old – can seem like coddling to some people. But for us it’s intentional. Neither mine nor my husband’s parents went to college, and we didn’t have many people to call when things got tight. Over the years, we have built a comfortable life without a safety net, paycheck to paycheck. We use that comfort to give our children the runway we never had.
There is data to support what my husband and I already know from experience. According to the National Center for Education Statistics, Black graduatesbetween the ages of 25 and 34, earn about $14,000 less per year than their white peers with the same degree. Additionally, more of them are graduating with debt: 52% of black students graduate with at least $25,000 in student debt, compared to 41% of white students, according to one study. Consumer finance research by the Federal Reserve.
Even with our help, our children graduated with little student debt.
Our support includes a plan
To give them both time to focus building their career and save money, we pay their rent. Naturally, this arrangement comes with a caveat. We talk openly about finances and set concrete goals to help them get closer financial independence. Our discussions include a timeline for the phase-out, with the goal of ending our rental assistance six months to a year after they have been consistently working and saving, so they understand that their rental coverage is not indefinite. This is something we will reevaluate as a family over time.
The author said she wants to take the pressure off her children as they build their careers and find their footing. Thanks to Cherith Glover Fluker.
We’re set emergency fund objectives and worked together on credit-building strategies. We even encourage them to save a little more at any time so they can build their own buffer. To keep them motivated on their way to the finish line, we celebrate every milestone, like reaching a savings goal or paying off a debt.
We buy them time
We are not the only family doing this. A research by AARP found that 75% of parents with a child aged 18 or older support them in some way. A February 2026 Pew Research Center survey found that nearly half of Black adults ages 18 to 29 (47%) reported receiving financial assistance from family in the past year.
Our plan isn’t perfect, but we’re sticking with it. It is not our intention to protect our children from the real world. We just want to buy them time. Instead of worrying about a missed rent payment, they can focus on building their careers. We want to give them a foundation strong enough so that they can one day build that bridge – or a stronger one – for their own children.
