In my early thirties, I was essentially alive DINK lifestyle (double income, no children).. My partner and I had built a career, no children and a lump sum to burn.
Over a period of twelve months we traveled on average every other month. We went hiking in Acadia National Park and Arizona. We rented a house with a pool and went biking around Sanibel Island in Florida. We explored Joshua Tree National Park, tried a… 14er in Coloradoand visited four different national parks in Washington State.
My husband and I were always on the same page about wanting to have a child, but I worried that having a family would bring our adventurous lifestyle to an abrupt halt. Luckily I was wrong.
I thought having a child would end our adventures
Before I tried to get pregnant, I planned one last hurray for us as one childless couple. We took a road trip through Mexico, exploring ancient Mayan ruins, swimming in cenotes and drinking different varieties of agave drinks.
Before having children, the author and her husband enjoyed traveling. Here they are shown during a road trip through Spain and Portugal. Thanks to Renate Flanagan.
A few months later I became pregnant.
Once I got pregnant, I worried that my due date was a due date for freedom. Fortunately, my nausea and fatigue during pregnancy were mild, so I scheduled two more hikes. I went to the Canadian Rockies, Zion and Bryce Canyon.
The week before I gave birth, I went to my husband’s house for dinner with a group of colleagues. One of the women at the dinner was the mother of a toddler. She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Enjoy this, because you’re never going out to eat again.” I wanted to believe that my lifestyle It wouldn’t be over because I had a baby, but here was another mother saying exactly what I was afraid to hear.
There were other possibilities
Fortunately, I had other parenting role models who showed me differently. My own mother traveled with me through Europe the summer before I turned 1. I have family friends who have moved internationally two young children and travel several times a year. Personally knowing people who traveled with children opened my mind to the possibility that I could do it too.
The author and her husband took their son on his first walk when he was three weeks old. Thanks to Renate Flanagan.
We took our son on his first walk when he was three weeks old. He spent the first year visiting family in Atlanta, hiking in Oregon, watching the leaves change in New England Christmas in Belgiumand played in the sand dunes with his uncle in Saudi Arabia. He made nine flights before he turned two years old.
Some things definitely changed after I had a child
The first few months of being a mother with a newborn were intense. The first year after my son was born, I was sleep deprived. My days of sleeping in are gone, at least in this season of my life when my son gets up around dawn.
The author’s son plays in a sand dune in Saudi Arabia. Thanks to Renate Flanagan.
We travel as much as we always have, but there’s a lot more luggage, in the form of car seats and baby hiking backpacks. Even though we don’t follow a strict schedule, my husband and I still have to remember to make time for our son to take a nap while we travel.
More about the DINK lifestyle
While our household is still dual-income, we definitely notice the difference in paying $2,600 a month for our son’s child care, which is about the same as our rent. We go out to eat as a family, but spend one evening a month on a date night at a fancy restaurant as a couple.
Having a child has made it much harder to get personal time, but my husband and I support each other by having time to do individual activities once or twice a week. Parenting can be expensive and exhausting, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Seeing my son appreciate nature and get energized by new experiences, people and places has been more rewarding than I ever expected.
