During a family trip to Disneyland my husband and I walked around enjoying each other’s company. Not a single child asked us for a snack, and we didn’t have to split up to go on different rides.
We were on our third trip with my in-lawsmy husband’s parents. My children were happy with their grandparents while we had time to ourselves. For once it truly felt like the happiest place on earth.
This wasn’t our first rodeo
I know not everyone gets along well with their in-laws, and multi-generational travel has a reputation for being difficult for many. My experience is the opposite. I’m fortunate that I not only get along well with mine, but actually prefer outings with them.
I have a long history of multi-generational travel. Growing up, summer vacations was often with my sisters, my parents and my grandmother.
After marriage and children, I traveled with my children, my husband and my parents. Now we often travel with my in-laws.
The author said she finds it easier to travel with her in-laws. Thanks to Sandra Lee.
I understand traveling with my own parents is fundamentally different from traveling with my husband’s parents. With my parents I naturally take on the role of their daughter, but with my in-laws I am their adult peer. It is a dynamic that I have come to appreciate and enjoy during my travels.
Traveling is easier this way
One of the reasons why traveling with my in-laws has become my favorite way to travel is that it dramatically reduces my travel costs mental strain. Before grandparents were involved in family outings, it was up to me to decide who would watch the kids, when everyone would eat, and who would stay behind when someone was tired. When my in-laws come along on these trips, there are more adults to make decisions, allowing us to divide and conquer when the kids want to do other things.
But the best part is that my children can have meaningful time with my in-laws and with us. When my husband and I take one of our children somewhere the other doesn’t want to do, the other child gets one-on-one time with their grandparents. When I want to return to the hotel, my in-laws get time for themselves with their son and their grandchildren, a dynamic that inadvertently changes when I’m in the picture. When we travel together as a group, it gives me time to understand them differently outside of the normal family environment, bringing us closer together. That is such a special advantage.
There are some challenges
In a perfect world, these trips would naturally fall into place, no adjustments needed. But we are not perfect and are traveling as a family of six different age groups can have its challenges.
Different travel styles, planning ideas, and spending time together are just some of the many things to consider. I have learned to discuss these things first, get an idea of how the trip will go and make adjustments if necessary. Our trips work partly because my in-laws are flexible, and I’ve learned to use that flexibility to keep everything running smoothly.
There’s also the issue of parenting differences and money, both of which need to be addressed subtly. I think these could be deal breakers if we’re not on the same page. My husband and I make decisions for our children, but when they are with their grandparents, the grandparents are in charge. We also determine in advance who pays for what, so that you will not be faced with any surprises at this time.
More about traveling with family
I learned early on that separate time is useful, which was the opposite of the format I grew up with, where everyone did everything together when traveling. I like to give my in-laws the time to create memories with my children. It’s what makes their bond stronger, it gives them a different perspective when there’s a problem, and it gives me time to catch my breath.
Since we tend to go more with the flow, I’ve found it helpful to work out key logistics before the trip, including accommodations and an itinerary. When my in-laws pay for the hotel, my husband and I usually pay for the tickets and food.
I thought traveling with my in-laws would make the holidays more difficult. Instead, it really changed what I think a holiday with kids can be. I travel with them not only because it is practical, but because the children get memories that span multiple generations. I learn to experience my own family differently, and that is beautiful.
