Will Kanye’s hostage-in-hosiery Bianca Censori make a freakish feature in his putrid pornos? KENNEDY shames Wild West for his latest sicko stunt and shudders to think what he’ll do next…

Yeezus Christ!

Kanye West, the demented anti-Semitic and enthusiastic misogynist, is about to add porn to his fanatical roster.

Which of our formally untouchable societal pillars will fall next? Does Chick-fil-A open on Sunday?

For the man who once wrote entire albums for the Almighty, who traversed genius and tragedy and produced thoughtful art, has now fallen so deeply into the chasm of depravity that there seems no way back.

This roving venture into the world of adult entertainment is already underway, reportedly a joint effort with the former Mr. Stormy Daniels, a jiggle-flick producer named Mike Moz.

It’s all filthy double standards, because West has balked at the sins of online smut in the past: He once blamed the collapse of his marriage and family on a supposed addiction to smut.

But it’s going to take more than a little horny hypocrisy to drive his few remaining and utterly unshockable fans into apoplexy.

It’s hard to imagine what West will bring to the world’s oldest form of entertainment. Turns out it’s a pretty saturated market and people often get it for free. But maybe he’ll melt down the last remaining Adidas sneakers from that imploded brand collaboration and repurpose them into Bianca Barbies or other horrible porn paraphernalia.

Which, of course, brings us to the sickening question on the lips of those giving the joke: Will Captive Censori make a whimsical movie?

It would hardly be surprising.

After years of controlling and shaming his ex-wife Kim Kardashian, and humiliating lovers from Amber Rose to Julia Fox – for whom he urinated during their first meeting – West’s abuse of the fairer sex is well rehearsed.

Perhaps parading his latest hostage, Bianca, through bawdy Venetian boat rides and without pantyhose in Paris has become tiring. Maybe these XXX capades won’t scratch the itch.

We’ve already seen more of this poor woman than most men see of the bride on their wedding night, so it’s hard to imagine this dirty duo will leave anything to the imagination.

West is one of the few public figures who considers himself uncancelable. But after so many crazy twists and so much cultural whiplash, the real achievement will be that people still care.

When you’ve made a career of shocking people by paying attention, at some point the shockwaves disappear.

Chances are the crazy congregants in Kanye’s Church have their own filthy outlets, more extreme than even the Wild West can muster. And this deeply sick monstrous misogynist will be forced to seek solace from even darker demons.

Fishy Kimmel

President Trump is playing more than the victim in the New York City courtroom. Apparently he also plays the butt trumpet.

According to anonymous ‘sources’ in the courtroom who spoke to the never-before-heard ‘MeidasTouch Network’, number 45 almost did a number 2 in his trousers this week.

The caustic Jimmy Kimmel couldn’t hold his own gas and mercilessly mocked the former prez for these baseless rumors. “Just when you think the insanometer has peaked, Donald Trump adds farting to his list of atrocities,” he said on Tuesday.

Kimmel once told me that he and comedian Adam Carolla would take road trips to Vegas and each purposefully eat things like raw onions and canned clams to make their own car exhaust extra smelly.

Taylor is out of style

Swifties are outraged over the largely negative reviews of TayTay’s latest vanity project: The Tortured Poets Department.

The album has some brilliant moments (Fortnight, featuring Post Malone, is a particular favorite) and is packed with juicy ‘Easter Eggs’ about Swift’s ‘functioning alcoholism’. But really, it’s just a self-indulgent repetition of the same sloppy tunes and themes that should have been left in the trash bin of her MacBook.

The unnecessary “look at me!” The release even angered friendly critics from the New York Times (“an all-time low”) and Pitchfork (“unruly, unedited”).

Taylor hit back, retweeting the few good reviews she collected. No amount of thick red lipstick will mask that thin skin.

…but Celine is in Vogue

Returning in a halo of glory and grace: Celine Dion.

In a candid interview for Vogue France, Celine dazzles in topless high-fashion as she discusses the reality of her tragic diagnosis and treatment for stiff person syndrome.

She admits that the brutality of the degenerative condition sent her into a downward spiral of “why me?” asks questions, but says she has since come to realize that “life doesn’t give you answers, you just have to live it.”

For some famous women, life means documenting every adolescent twist and kiss of their overly public breakups. For others, it’s about retreating into solitude when privacy is paramount, and then emerging with a stunning message of hope. What an inspiration Celine is.

Nancy cracks the whip

Nimble Nancy Pelosi has a new memoir.

The 84-year-old’s page-turner promises to be more gripping than her icy ego grip on the reigns of American politics.

It’s called ‘The Art of Power’ and the cover image features the graceful dominatrix standing in a DC doorway lording over the phallic Washington Monument as if ready to crush any male protuberance that might slow her further ascent.

I imagine the chapter titles will include:

MY FLING WITH GENERAL WASHINGTON

666 JANUARY: WORSE THAN PEARL HARBOR

BEAUTY TIPS FOR GOLDEN GIRLS: YOU ARE ONLY AS YOUNG AS THE BABIES YOU EAT

Smiling ill

Girlfriend killer Oscar Pistorius stood smiling in the South African sun and enjoyed his freedom after just seven years in prison.

Apparently he ended up behind bars without much access to his usual exercise regimen (boo-hoo).

In the outside world he is no longer allowed to drink liquor or own weapons (boo-hoo-hoo) and he now looks slimmer.

He spends most of his time playing video games and sitting on his guilty keister in his uncle’s $2.5 million mansion. He’s also done some meager volunteer work at a local church where fellow parishioners say he’s cold and weird, which is so strange because murderous, angry idiots are usually so fun and bubbly.

Nepo royals!

William, Kate and Camilla have all managed to snag some stunning royal honors.

William is now a Grand Master of the Order of the Bath (a very long-winded reward for ‘exemplary service in military or civilian life’ or something about soap and shampoo).

Kate becomes a Companion of Honor (which is a fancy way of saying she’s now Willy’s legitimate plus one).

And Camilla gets the highest position and becomes head of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire.

Seriously, how did they all achieve these nifty titles and awards? Do they know a man?