Vivek is toast – and even Christie won’t eat it! KENNEDY’s acid-tongued verdict on the real winners and losers of last night’s braggadocios, ball-hogging debate

Vivek, what the hell happened?!

For a candidate who ran such a disciplined early campaign, it's clear after last night's final Republican primary that he has become the Marjorie Taylor Greene of the debate stage, with an even longer laundry list of conspiracies.

The nation cheered when Chris Christie – a political whale who has clearly resigned himself to swimming back to the sea of ​​elder statesmanship – blasted the belligerent brat as a neophyte 'jack***', to which Vivek called him out that he had to eat well. .

Listen, I love a Christie corpulence joke as much as the next person, but that cheapest of cheap shots said so much about the unruly Ramaswamy's collapsing campaign.

Christie – who had a surprisingly good night – wasn't done yet.

His defining moment came when he defended Nikki Haley after the rabid Ramaswamy challenged her like a playground bully to name the regions of eastern Ukraine, with the not-so-subtle subtext that she has no understanding of basic geography.

Christie stopped the misogynist-obsessive man in his tracks, labeled him the “most annoying freeloader in America,” dispatched the licksputtle loser with his pie knife and – whisper it – maybe auditioned to be Haley's vice president if she got the would get nomination out of jail. tied Donald Duck.

Vivek accused the other three of being Trump bootlickers, but by now he had shown his own credentials as a Donald Brownnoser by digging into the Deep State blowout and being an inside job on January 6.

What an astonishing swing and epic miss from our hot-headed, high-haired GOP blubberers.

Braggadocio's ball game may make for entertaining viewing, but it smacks of a depressing sleaze at the top of American politics.

And one thing's for sure: Vivek's once-fascinating candidacy is now toast, and even Christie won't put up with it.

After accepting that he couldn't win this race, Christie's took on the happy role of referee, rising above the fray to feast on the buffet of rationality, here to clean up the mess.

Indeed, this debate – the final of four between the Final Four – got so heated that I needed a handful of Tums to sleep on it.

The Powerhouse NewNation trio Megyn Kelly, Elizabeth Vargas and Eliana Johnson were unflinchingly fierce and proved to moderators everywhere how to keep these firebrand politicians on track.

You could tell Kelly had missed the primetime spotlight.

Right out of the gate, she fired early missiles at Ron DeSantis, drawing criticism for his 30-point deficit to Trump.

It took Ron in a suit and high heels a minute to find his footing, while Kelly threw her Manolo Blahnik mega grenades.

But once he got into the swing of things, it was clear that last week's Fox News roundup with Gruesome Newsom had taught him a thing or two.

He touted his impressive resume, his resounding re-election in Florida in 2022, his record on Covid, and lashed out at Haley for pandering to the left on the issue of trans children.

But – as always with this grinning governor – it wasn't all plain sailing.

When asked about sending American troops to Gaza, he babbled on, which the hungry Christie ate, inviting him for a 90-second “Hosanna” and highlighting Ron's inability to give a straight answer.

The courageous Christie also did more than anyone to confront He Who Shall Not Be Named – aka the orange Voldemort – the man who, let's face it, will probably put these losers out of work soon.

Although I wouldn't sleep over the blossoming femme-force Nikki Haley.

The fearsome, blow-dried badass showed up with the biggest target on her back after recently receiving the endorsement of Koch Deathstar's Americans for Prosperity and liberal LinkedIn founder Reid Hoffman.

Hoffman has clearly lost faith in the bumbling Biden and is rejected by the toxic Trump, and while Haley's policies may make him puke, he respects her as an adult.

He threw her super PAC a $250,000 bone this week — and the kid did, so the other guys on stage had something to chew on.

As the dirty dog ​​fight ensued, Haley maintained a refined composure and thanked her competitors for all the attention.

Glaring gaps remain from her previous emphasis on requiring all Americans under her presidency to show ID to use social media. But overall, she has learned the art of saying nothing to convey everything.

A particularly delightful moment occurred when Vivek held up his school notebook that read 'NIKKI = CORRUPT'.

When asked to hit back, Haley simply said, “No. It's not worth my time to respond to him.' Pure class.

So who won?

It's clear to me that Nikki and Ron would both beat Biden, and the race is now between them.

DeSantis is improving incrementally — albeit still too slowly to close the horrific gap behind Trump.

If Haley can continue to make her case — secure more donor money and clear up the troubling gray areas in her past statements — she may be hers for the taking.

But for now, it will take a Christmas miracle for these Republican rivals to win more than a silver medal.