Vicky Pattison burst into tears when she spoke about her regrets having sex on screen while starring in Geordie Shore on BBC Two show Pilgrimage: The Road Through Portugal on Friday.
The 35-year-old television personality said she hoped to find a new direction in life and get in touch with faith as she and seven other stars of different religious and spiritual beliefs embarked on a modern Catholic pilgrimage in northern Portugal.
Vicky opened up about her reasons for joining the program and admitted that she hated being known for sleeping with her exes on the MTV show Geordie Shore.
She said, “I thought I was so grown up, but I was still so wet behind the ears and naive, and didn’t really have the tools needed to navigate the new space I found myself in.” I really wasn’t prepared for it.
“I have spent the last 10 years of my life trying very hard to change people’s perception of me.
Regret: Vicky Pattison, 35, broke down when she spoke of her regrets about having sex on screen while starring in Geordie Shore during Pilgrimage: The Road Through Portugal on Friday
New direction: The television personality said she hoped to find a new direction in life and get in touch with faith on the BBC Two show
“No matter how many charity drives you do, how many dogs you adopt, how many fun, body-positive posts you post on Instagram, to some people I will always be just the girl who had sex on TV.”
On her reason for joining the show, Vicky, who admitted that she had not had much experience with religion after her school assemblies, admitted that she found comfort in the idea of a higher being taking care of people.
She explained, “I don’t know what I am. I don’t have really strong beliefs except that I want to believe there is something.
“The idea of someone out there taking care of everyone is really, really comforting.”
Vicky filmed Pilgrimage: The Road Through Portugal with actresses Su Pollard and Rita Simons, Boyzone singer Shane Lynch, TV personality Bobby Seagull, comedian Nabil Abdulrashid and paralympic skier Millie Knight.
As one of the original cast members of Geordie Shore 11 years ago, the house saw a lot of on-screen sex, but Vicky kept her prudish appearance, leading to a running gag among the cast that “Vicky doesn’t bang.”
Over time, however, her resolve weakened as she fell in love with her then-boyfriend Dan in series two, before regularly enjoying on-camera intimate relationships with her later fiancé Ricci Guarnaccio.
Later, during several stints on MTV dating show Ex On The Beach, Vicky had a one-night stand with Ross Worswick before enjoying a romance with Daniel Conn, while also becoming close with Stephen Bear.
All Stars: Vicky filmed Pilgrimage with (LR) comedian Nabil Abdulrashid, actress Su Pollard TV star Bobby Seagull, Boyzone’s Shane Lynch, soap star Rita Simmons and paralympic skier Millie Knight
Tough times: Vicky previously discussed her choice to have on-screen sex while starring in Geordie Shore and the dangers of her drunken lifestyle
Vicky, who got engaged to former TOWIE star Ercan Ramadan last year, previously spoke of her regret over her televised sex scenes and admitted she was ’embarrassed’.
During an appearance on Lorraine, she said: “I started in reality TV and I think it’s really hard to find that’s the norm, I often exaggerate…
“When you look back at a person’s early twenties, there are things that make them cringe, but I’m a firm believer that you can never be old and wise if you haven’t been young and crazy.
“I’m not proud of anything I’ve done and I’ll be the first to raise my hands and say there are bits of my past that I was a little ashamed of…
Pained: Over time, however, her resolve weakened as she fell in love with her then-boyfriend Dan in series two, before regularly enjoying on-camera intimate relationships with her later fiancé Ricci Guarnaccio (pictured together in 2012)
That was then… She also enjoyed a romance with Daniel Conn (pictured in 2014)
Another one: she also got close to Stephen Bear (pictured in 2015)
‘[Geordie Shore days] Being drunk on screen having sex on TV I was a product of my environment I became a caricature of myself and I lost my self esteem it made me hard to look in the mirror so I tried to being my best person.’
In her 2014 autobiography Nothing But The Truth, Vicky wrote of her on-screen debauchery, “The worst thing about sex on TV was when my mom stopped talking to me for ages when she found out.
“I hated having sex on camera. The b***hing is mean, but I’m actually a bit squeamish when it comes to that side of things. I despised that my parents could possibly see it.
“Of course I was drunk when it happened. It was something Ricci insisted on and being p****d I gave in.’
New love: Vicky got engaged to former The Only Way Is Essex star Ercan Ramadan last year