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A woman from Texas who was firmly pro-life has now changed her mind after she was forced to travel out-of-state to New Mexico in order to carry out an abortion when she found out her baby suffered a rare genetic disorder and was unlikely to live for more than one hour after being born.
Kailee Lingo DeSpain, 29, together with her husband David, 31, had both longed for a child ever since they got married in 2015.
The couple, who live in Marble Falls, northwest of Austin, were both strongly anti-abortion, but their position quickly changed after Kailee suffered two miscarriages and a premature birth at 16 weeks in which the baby did not survive, all within just a few years.
Kailee’s pregnancies were high risk for severe complications, including blood clots and infections.
Kailee, right, and Cade DeSpain from Texas had struggled to become parents, The couple had two miscarriages, and one daughter was born at 16 weeks and didn’t survive
When Kailee became pregnant for the fourth time with a boy they named Finley, they found out he had triploidy, a condition that would be fatal
‘I was just your quintessential pro-life Texan,’ Kailee told CNN. ‘I was raised in central Texas by extremely Republican parents and grandparents. One hundred percent pro-life.
‘[Miscarrying] made me realize that pregnancy can be dangerous It made me think of my little sisters, and I wanted them to be able to have a choice if they ever had to go through something like that.’
In September of 2021, Kailee posted on Facebook for people to contact their elected representatives in the hope of protecting abortion rights.
Months later, in November, the couple learned that they had fallen pregnant once again, for a fourth time, and even went as far as to post ultrasound pictures online together with a gender reveal video that showed they were going to have a baby boy.
Sadly, by February of this year, the parents-to-be were told their baby had heart, lung, brain, kidney and genetic defects known as triploidy, would either cause him to die within the womb or within an hour of being born.
The DeSpains said they never pictured a scenario where they’d choose an abortion, but now it was basically their only safe choice. They quickly learned it would not be a simple path
The couple made the difficult choice to end the pregnancy, but because of Texas’ strict abortion law, they had to travel to New Mexico for the procedure
The couple shared news of their pregnancy on social media but found out shortly afterwards the baby was suffering from a number of complications and would survive for long after birth
‘Some of these things could be fixed, but all of these things together — this cannot be fixed,’ a doctor told her.
Should Kailee decide to carry the baby, named Finley, for the full nine months, she would also be at risk of a number of complications including blood clots, preeclampsia, and cancer.
Doctors recommended she terminate saying it would be ‘the safest course for you [and] the most humane course of action for him.’
But acting on the advice of doctors was not as straightforward as it sounded with Kailee torn as to whether to keep her child, if only for a few minutes.
‘I [wanted] to say goodbye,’ she said. ‘I [wanted] a chance to hold him.’
Ending the pregnancy came with a catch: surgeons would be unable to carry out the procedure within the Lone Star State.
The couple were so overjoyed to become pregnant that they shared a gender reveal moment online
Texas’ restrictive six-week abortion ban law meant she was unable to terminate the pregnancy in the state she and her husband grew up in and would instead have to cross the border into New Mexico.
The law only allows doctors to perform abortions when the mother’s life is at stake.
It was one of the earliest and most restrictive abortion laws. But now similar laws are in effect in around a dozen states after the US Supreme Court ended the constitutional right to abortion in June.
Furthermore, Kailee’s insurance would not cover the out-of-state procedure leaving the DeSpain’s on the hook for a $3,500 bill, not to mention travel expenses from the 500-mile drive and the loss of earnings from taking time off to undergo the abortion.
Her employer docked her pay because she did not have enough sick days to cover her time off.
‘I’ve never felt more betrayed by a place I was once so proud to be from,’ Kailee said.
‘How could you be so cruel as to pass a law that you know will hurt women and that you know will cause babies to be born in pain? How is that humane? How is that saving anybody?’ asks Kailee of the state of Texas’ restrictive abortion law
‘How could you be so cruel as to pass a law that you know will hurt women and that you know will cause babies to be born in pain? How is that humane? How is that saving anybody?’
Eventually, a relative gave the couple the money for them to carry out the abortion. Kailee was 19 weeks pregnant at the time.
‘I’m still so angry and hurt about it that I can hardly see straight,’ Kailee wrote on her Facebook page the day following the abortion. The post has been shared 116,000 times.
‘Finley and I were simply collateral damage in a much bigger picture. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around the thought process of lawmakers that would rather a full-term baby suffocate to death than allow a mother to make a decision that spares her child that pain.’
The couple is now thinking about leaving the state after her obstetrician gave her a stark warning.
‘She said “this is not safe. I need you to look at me. I need you to understand that if you get pregnant in Texas and that if you have complications, that I cannot intervene until I can prove that you’re going to die.”‘
The couple shared a photo of an urn containing their baby boy’s ashes following his abortion at 19 weeks
Lawyers speculating on Kailee’s case believe that since her own health would have been at risk by continuing with the pregnancy, she should in fact have been allowed to terminate in-state.
‘Abortion can be performed if the mother has a life-threatening physical condition aggravated, caused by, or arising from a pregnancy that places the female at risk of death or poses a serious risk of substantial impairment of a major bodily function.’
‘They don’t spell out exactly the situations when an abortion can be provided,’ Katie Keith, director of the Health Policy and the Law Initiative at Georgetown University Law Center said to CNN, noting that what circumstances might qualify pregnant women for the procedure to be carried out in Texas are exceptionally, and deliberately vague.
Physicians found to be in breach of the law can be fined, lose their medical license, or even be jailed for life.
‘Facing the potential to become a felon and face life in prison for simply trying to take care of patients has been horrifying, and I’d be lying if I said that I haven’t considered leaving the state,’ said Dr. Leah Tatum, a spokesperson for the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists who practices in Austin, Texas.
The couple are considering leaving the state of Texas altogether in order to get pregnant in a state where abortions are still legal, should the need arise