They say politics is show business for ugly people, but the politicians and journalists partying at the Parliamentary Press Gallery Midwinter Ball tonight might disagree.
Paul Begala, Bill Clinton’s chief strategist, loved this phrase, but recently Tom Hanks and Hugh Grant also used it to complain about the political situation in their own countries.
What exactly is the annual Midwinter Ball in Canberra?
Apart from the cheap wine, the bad food and the invariably worse speeches by the prime minister and the opposition leader, this is all done in the name of charity. That is one of the few positive aspects of the event.
Last year, over $350,000 was raised for various charities including Rural Aid Australia and the Ukraine Crisis Appeal. This year’s charities include the Salvation Army and ACT Pet Crisis Support.
I had assumed that the international charity atmosphere of the evening would continue this year, given the plight of the Palestinians. Perhaps the organizers were afraid that embracing the cause would lead to controversy.
Do not propose to give them a state, because you might incur the wrath of the Prime Minister.
Will Senator Fatima Payman be there? She certainly won’t be sitting on Anthony Albanese’s table, that’s for sure.
The highlight of the evening is usually the arrival in the parliamentary foyer, after which it is all downhill.
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese arrived at the Midwinter Ball last year with his current fiancée Jodie Haydon
The Greens have used their outfits to protest various causes (above, Sarah Hanson-Young in 2022). Will they do the same this year when it comes to the Palestinian cause?
For political nerds who aren’t interested in what fashion labels politicians wear, the Greens’ decision a few years ago to politicize their outfits brought a new kind of attention.
In 2022, Senator Sarah Hanson-Young and Greens leader Adam Bandt’s partner Claudia Perkins wore dresses with slogans about cutting fossil fuels. You can’t buy that kind of publicity.
Will the Greens do something similar with the Palestinian cause this year?
Will the finance minister’s wife wear another Carla Zampatti dress to match the one she wore to her husband’s budget speech this year? Or the same one, given the current cost of living crisis?
Team Chalmers is collectively getting over $9,000 in tax cuts this budget year, so why not upgrade to Scanlan Theodore?
The ball is usually held in June rather than July, perhaps because the organisers don’t want it to clash with Dry July. Barnaby Joyce now takes part in Dry July every month, so he’ll have to stick to the water.
Surrounded by all sorts of politicians and businesses, the prime minister and the opposition leader take turns trying to be humorous with their speeches. Choosing self-mockery is how politicians sometimes achieve small moments of laughter without offending anyone.
Still, I’d be surprised if Albo doesn’t manage to make a fool of Peter Dutton tonight.
In the past, the leaders’ comments were always considered off the record. That all changed when legendary Channel Nine Political Editor Laurie Oakes began reporting on what was said.
He found a loophole: ask someone at the event to send him the details of what was said and don’t go yourself.
That way the big man wasn’t bound by the off the record rules. It means he didn’t have to endure the event either.
Every day is Dry July for former Nationals leader Barnaby Joyce. Above, at last year’s Midwinter Ball with his current wife Vikki Campion
Channel Nine’s legendary former political editor Laurie Oakes frustrated politicians by reporting what was said at the ball, even if it was off the record, by finding a loophole
Now that the speeches are officially recorded, they are measurably less funny. Last year’s highlight was comedian Mark Humphries, someone who actually knows how to make you laugh.
The Great Hall of the Parliament Building is packed to the rafters with a mix of businesses (who pay handsomely to attend) and politicians (who have been invited for free to join various business and media tables). Surrounded by journalists, of course.
The website promoting the ball does not shy away from companies buying their access to and influence over the evening: “It is always a memorable evening of entertainment and networking opportunities,” it states.
Apart from ignoring ministers and shadow ministers, the main aim of the companies present is not to make themselves part of the story by drinking too much or being too noisy.
The low quality of the wine available contributes to this.