I wear headphones when my new baby cries and my wife hates them – but I have a good reason
- Dad wears headphones to block out his baby’s crying
- He’s autistic and doesn’t want to get “overwhelmed.”
Hundreds insult a new mother after she demanded her husband stop wearing headphones to muffle their baby’s cries.
The father explained that he has autism and needs headphones to tend to his crying daughter so he doesn’t get “overwhelmed.”
He said that while noise-cancelling headphones don’t completely block out the cries, his wife “hate it” and has asked him to stop using them.
The new mother says that her husband should be able to handle ‘anything’ with parenthood.
“She also said it probably scares our daughter to see her dad with stuff on his head when she’s most upset,” he added.
The 33-year-old asked if he was wrong and a “bad father” or if his wife was making an “unreasonable demand” by rejecting his disability.
A new dad has asked if he’s wrong for wanting to wear headphones to muffle his three-month-old daughter’s cries despite his wife’s protests
The father says he and his 30-year-old “wonderful” wife have a three-month-old baby who is “a chill and happy little thing that makes our world shine” but, like most babies, can cry, “sometimes a lot” .
“I’ve been diagnosed as autistic and have some pretty serious sensory issues as a result, especially around sound, and especially when I’m tired,” he wrote in a Reddit. after.
“I have noise canceling headphones which are a godsend, so I started wearing them when I found her crying too overwhelming, especially when I get up with her at night.”
The father said he can still hear her crying softly while she has the headphones on and clarifies that he is not putting them on to ignore her sobs.
“It’s the exact opposite, I wear them so I can hold her without feeling overwhelmed,” he said.
Hundreds sided with the man after he explained he has autism and must wear headphones to nurse his crying daughter so he doesn’t get ‘overwhelmed’
“Most of the time she’s a delight, I love our 2am feedings when it feels like no one else in the world is awake but us, enjoying the quiet and solitude.” I love her so much.’
However, the mother wants to end the man’s headphone habit, saying he needs to be able to process all the “bad things” they “signed up for” when they became parents.
“(She said) it’s important not to block her crying so I can feel what our daughter is feeling,” the father wrote.
“What she said made a lot of sense, so I stopped wearing them and dealt with the ensuing meltdowns afterwards.”
The man’s family agrees he should stop wearing headphones and he fears he’s “neglecting” his daughter’s needs by not hearing her cry at full volume.
However, he has a friend who said it was an “unreasonable demand” and that with his disability, his needs “do matter.”
Hundreds quickly chimed in, siding with the father who said he’d come up with the perfect solution to take care of his daughter when she’s upset without getting “overstimulated.”
“Why couldn’t you wear the headphones? There is nothing wrong with that. It’s really weird to say that the baby will have problems if you have it on your head when she’s upset. The baby won’t know anyway!’ said a woman.
“This is crazy. What does it matter? It’s like saying you have to hand wash diapers to experience the nasty,” a second added.
“You’re taking care of your baby, not just initially, but in the long run, by making sure you don’t get sensory overload and autistic burnout.” That would really affect your ability to co-parent!” replied a third.
Others labeled the woman “competent” for not allowing her husband to handle his sensory issues as he saw fit, but the father was quick to defend her.
“For the most part she’s great with my autism, she can pick up on my needs before I can even put them into words and respond accordingly, but she was wrong on this one,” he replied.