Psychologist JO HEMMINGS reveals the Christmas getaway do’s and don’ts

Behavioral psychologist Jo Hemmings

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, except when you’re on a packed plane or train with screaming kids kicking your seat, or stuck in a car with hours of driving in the rain on the itinerary.

Yes, the ‘holiday getaway’ part of Christmas tends to not be so wonderful. But help is at hand. Here, behavioral psychologist Jo Hemmings reveals his dos and don’ts for holiday travel, from whether to recline your seat on a plane to tips for keeping your kids from misbehaving on long trips.

Even packing can be stressful. Is there a way to stay calm during the process?

Jo told MailOnline Travel: “We need a bit of head space to pack a suitcase effectively, whether it’s small bags for the trip or a large suitcase for everything else, it’s best to write a list of what you’ll need and then Go from room to room, thinking about what you might need.

And don’t forget the gifts! And without distractions, so do it when your partner is away from home or the kids are asleep.

‘Make sure the kids are involved in what they want to bring, and compare it to their siblings to get some ideas – if they can fit in their little case or backpack, then you can come with them. If they are involved in the preparation, they are much less likely to complain that their “favorite” toy is missing.’

Christmas can be a golden period for discussions: is there a way to use the trip to set the tone/nip the issues in the bud?

Jo said: “A big part of blurring the seeming inevitability of having a trip filled with bickering, bickering and general irritation, is planning ahead as precisely as possible.” Will the children be hungry? Check. Will they be thirsty? Check. Will your partner complain about every delay? Check. Will the family need alternative entertainment to “I Spy”? Check. Imagine the worst case scenario and be prepared for it.

‘Pack lots of drinks, food, books and toys. Get imaginative with some games to play: singing games if you’re in a car, a deck of cards if you’re on a train/plane. Or some cheap toys or games related to your mode of transportation in some way. It’s also a chance to forget the ‘rules’ about time spent on mobile devices – load up some movies and apps on your device and let the kids play to their heart’s content.’

So are screens really okay for kids?

Rules about mobile device time for kids can be forgotten when traveling, said Jo, who recommends in-ear headphones over in-ear headphones.

If children misbehave on public transportation, “try not to get too upset and offer them a piece of candy as a distraction.”

Jo added: “Screens have become such a big part of our lives and are invaluable when we travel. Make sure your kids have a pair of headphones on top (in-ears will get lost in hallways or hallways). cars) and that you have a portable charger handy. Running out of power is guaranteed to cause problems!’

You’ve earned the chance to relax, but should you recline your seat on a plane?

Jo said: ‘Some people are very against this, but those recliner buttons are there for a reason. Maybe check with the person behind you if they’re okay – smiling as you ask will encourage them to say “yes” even if they’re not interested, but respect their opinion if you’re not.

‘Take a blanket and an inflatable pillow with you, as well as a pair of slippers. It’s much easier to get comfortable on a long plane ride, reclining or not. Consider bringing a pair of pajamas and a toiletry bag; You can buy business class sealed versions of these on auction sites or you can make your own. You may not be traveling first class, but there’s nothing stopping you from enjoying a similar experience in economy class.’

What is the strategy for dealing with a child kicking the seat?

Jo said: ‘If your child is kicking the seat back, or someone else’s, push yourself, I know it’s hard… not to get too angry. Offer your own child a candy or treat as a distraction, making it clear that this is not a reward for bad behavior, and explain that it shakes the person in front of them and can make them feel sick.

‘Excuse me, offer the child who is kicking in the other family something similar. It can tend to de-escalate a dispute with parents, which is a perennial problem with bored and restless children.

Any other tips to keep the kids at bay?

Give the children a treat for being good on a trip, said Jo

Jo said: ‘Before they leave, explain to them that the journey will be quite long and that they can take anything they can fit into their own backpacks to play with.

‘That they also have a small inflatable cushion so that, if they want to sleep, they feel comfortable. Tell them that there will be a special prize for each if they manage to be good on the trip. If other children are playing, be careful not to interfere.

‘Sometimes just an empathetic word along the lines of “it’s never easy with kids on planes/trains, is it?” may be enough to encourage such parents to try to stop their own children’s behaviour.’

Is being drunk on public transport more acceptable because it’s Christmas?

Jo said: “Not really, it’s quite anti-social and disruptive on public transport, but we’ve all been there on a train when our kids have said out loud ‘is that person drunk mum/dad?’ Kids always feel curious about the childish behavior of adults who have had too many. Try not to let that embarrassing person be you!’

Are there modes of transportation that you think encourage less stress?

Jo said: ‘Pack lots of drinks, food, books and toys. Get imaginative with some games to play: singing games if you’re in a car, a deck of cards if you’re on a train/plane.

Jo said: ‘They all have their advantages and disadvantages. Everyone has situations beyond our control, whether it’s delays on the road, on the line, or in the air.

“If you have options, it’s worth seriously considering planning the least stressful version of the trip, given your family dynamics, length/timing of your trip, weather conditions, and of course the current strikes, which will impact whatever mode of transport you are using.’

• To find out more about Jo, including information about her books, visit her website: johemmings.co.uk.