PETER HOSKIN: Precious? No, the new Gollum game is a fatally clumsy mess… 

Lord Of The Rings: Gollum (PlayStation, Xbox, PC, £49.99)

Verdict: Go back to the shadows!

Judgement:

“Be careful with this game, honey. It tries…”

‘No! Dirty game! Grind it and bite it and crush it to the ground!’

That’s how my inner Smeagol and Gollum – two sides of a split personality – have been wrestling with each other for the past few days as I played The Lord Of The Rings: Gollum.

Smeagol, the gentler voice, has a point. This game has a great premise: it follows the pathetic creature Gollum, slave to Tolkien’s One Ring, as he prowls for his lost property between the events of The Hobbit and The Lord Of The Rings.

In brief moments – the color of a moody Mordor sky, for example, or the way the oily protagonist sneaks across a rock – it even lives up to that premise.

This game looks like it’s from the PlayStation 3 era… 15 years ago if not earlier

Grind it, bite it, crush it. Just don’t play this game

But I think it’s Gollum, the nastier voice, that ultimately influenced me. This game looks like it’s from the PlayStation 3 era… 15 years ago if not earlier.

It sounds like it’s being performed by Not Andy Serkis and Not Ian McKellen, humiliating themselves – and us – in a cheesy counterfeit of Peter Jackson’s Rings movies.

And it plays like… gosh, the gameplay is more horrible than the Dark Lord Sauron himself. It takes the creepy stealth mechanics of superior games – games that offer a whole lot more – and makes them deadly clunky.

Imagine falling flawlessly into the same goddamn pit over and over again. Or get stuck in the landscape with no way to escape. That’s this game.

The only possible answer is to listen to my in-head Gollum: grind, bite, crush. Just don’t play it.

Street Fighter 6 (PlayStation, Xbox, PC, £54.99)

Verdict: Fight club, all abilities welcome

Judgement:

There are a lot of things that make me feel terrible about gaming. Shooting another corner in a driving simulator. Sniff it within seconds of entering an online shooter.

But above all, they are fighting games – in general. I can never get a handle on all those insanely complicated button combinations. My on-screen characters are therefore clumsy wimps. Until now.

Street Fighter 6, the latest installment in the mighty 35-year-old series, could be the most welcoming game of the year with open arms. It wants to help you break faces. Good.

It starts with the options presented to you. There are three main game modes: ‘Fighting Ground’, which is the closest to classic Street Fighter and gives you quick access to all your favorite fighters from Chun-Li to E. Honda.

Street Fighter 6, the latest installment in the mighty 35-year-old series, could be the most welcoming game of the year with open arms

This game aims to help you break faces. Good.

Not only is it a fun and colorful twist on the fighting genre, it’s also a brilliant introduction to the intricacies of Street Fighter.

“Battle Hub,” a kind of online metaversal space where your character and other people’s can hang out. And ‘World Tour’, a playable story that drops you into 3D city centers and teaches you how to be a fighter…on the street…a street fighter.

The last of these modes really stands out. Not only is it a fun and colorful twist on the fighting genre, it’s also a brilliant introduction to the intricacies of Street Fighter. As my character developed, I slowly realized I was evolving too – from a bumbling dork to a skilled boxer, all thanks to the game’s generous tutorials.

There are even thoughtful options when it comes to controls: three different schemes tailored to different skill levels. Pros of yesteryear can pull off all the tough button combinations. Newbies and the terminally inept (like me) can opt for simplified, streamlined alternatives.

It has meant that I no longer feel like a failure in fighting games. In fact, I’m full of bravado now. You – yes, you! – let’s fight.