PAUL NEWMAN: England have simply DESTROYED Ireland in one of the most one-sided Tests in history

It doesn’t get more emphatic than this. There could have been few more one-sided games in Test cricket’s long history. England simply destroyed Ireland.

England’s brutal preeminence at Lord’s has been so great that the benefits of this whole useless exercise for the far more important things to come are negligible.

Certainly this one-off match will bear no relation to what lies ahead for England as they face an Australian side with a much more thorough preparation for the Ashes in the form of next week’s World Test Championship final against India.

But England can hardly be blamed for that, nor for the pitifully weak record of a team from Ireland who left their best bowler, Josh Little, out of this Test and instead staged an attack barely up to provincial standard.

In the absence of meaningful opposition, England did what this England team has been doing for the past year, blitzing the opposition with both ball and bat over the first two days to today bring in sight their 11th win in 13 games under Ben Stokes and Brendon McCullum. And by some distance the easiest and most predictable of them.

Josh Tongue (centre) took three wickets to leave Ireland at 255 short of England’s 524 for four (declared) first innings in total

Ollie Pope continued his renaissance batting at number 3 with a double hundred – the fastest ever in England

But instead of dwelling on Ireland’s inadequacy, we’re celebrating the fastest double hundred by anyone in an England test of Ollie Pope.

Plus an equally reckless century from Ben Duckett in his first Test innings on home soil.

Then there was the single just before tea that took Joe Root to 11,000 runs in Test cricket, only the second Englishman to do so, with only Sir Alastair Cook ahead of him.

And finally, before Ireland closed on 97 for three, just 255 behind, there were two wickets in his first over in Ireland’s second innings and three in total, his first victims in Test cricket, for a bowler in Josh Tongue who hit a huge impression on debut here.

Nothing summed up this mauling better than the rare performance of both Pope and Duckett to score over a hundred runs in a single session.

Duckett rode to that landmark with ease in the morning, and the new vice-captain did the same in the afternoon, when Ireland languished under an attack they absolutely could not resist.

It wasn’t until Ireland managed to exchange a ball out of shape, with England on the small mark of 353 for a one-off just 59 overs, did they even manage to get past England’s wide bats, the substitute started swinging and Duckett fell out for 182 . 178 balls.

This was the best contribution to date for an opener in Duckett, who for so long seemed lost at the top level due to his lack of discipline off the field, but has matured and flourished like few others under the extremely positive regime of Stokes and McCullum.

Ben Duckett also scored a huge hundred, falling for 182 in his first ever home test

Joe Root (left) fell for a busy 56 of 59 deliveries shortly before England’s statement

When Duckett was bowled by Graham Hume, Pope carried on as usual, racing to his fourth Test century and his third since he called Stokes last summer and asked to bat in the No. 3 problem position that has now brought out the very best in him.

There was the possibility of an England declaration with Pope unbeaten on 197 at tea, but Stokes rightly let him hit the magical milestone of a Test double century at Lord’s with Pope advancing to crush Andy McBrine for six to get there before he fell off the next ball.

That was key for Stokes to pull out in search of the two-day finish he was quietly aiming for ahead of this Test, with England on a monumental 524 for four from just 82.4 overs, racing at over six per over and never seemed real. get out of second gear.

The biggest bummer for England is that Stokes and Jonny Bairstow didn’t get a bat and Harry Brook only faced seven balls, meaning all three go into the Ashes with little red-ball practice behind them.

But then there was another big plus in the form of Tongue.

What an excellent decision Tongue’s selection was here ahead of Chris Woakes and what another brilliant feat of captaincy from Stokes as he entered the debutant for just the seventh over of Ireland’s second innings.

Tong (centre) repaid the confidence shown in him by Ben Stokes handing him his first Test cap

James McCollum had to pull out injured after spinning while exiting a tongue birth

It was clear the captain wanted Tongue to feel like he belonged and he did that by straight trapping Peter Moor with his first ball and then forcing Andy Balbirnie to break through to a tumbling Bairstow, good again tenacious on his return to shore.

Tongue was the bowler as James McCollum attempted evasive action and managed to twist his ankle badly as he fell into a heap, forcing him to retire hurt.

But it was Tongue, who very much put himself in Ashes’ frame, who struck again when Paul Stirling wore one down the leg side to Bairstow and left after an assessment.

It shouldn’t be long before England wraps things up on Saturday – and then all thoughts will really turn to what is sure to be a much more competitive game.