Turning 80 is an important milestone in someone’s life. But for Thomas Markle, his big day on July 18 will be tinged with regret and mixed emotions. “I never expected to make it to 80, because Markle men never make it,” he said last night. ‘My father died at the age of 61.
‘I have had a good life and am proud of what I have achieved, but everything is overshadowed by what has happened in the last six years.
“I’ve never been one for birthdays, but I know the one person I most want to hear from, Meghan, won’t be in touch. I’d love to meet my grandchildren, but at this stage I’d be happy with a photo.’
Thomas Markle with a young Meghan. He became estranged from her after he couldn’t walk her down the aisle for her wedding to Prince Harry
Mr Markle became estranged from his youngest daughter, Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, in 2018 when he was unable to walk her down the aisle for her wedding to Prince Harry after suffering two heart attacks on the eve of their wedding. The couple has not spoken to him since.
Mr Markle has never met his grandchildren Archie, five, and three-year-old Lilibet.
Speaking from his cliff-top home in Rosarito, Mexico, just 250 miles from the Sussexes’ 16-bathroom home in Montecito, California, he remains perplexed that he has never met his son-in-law either.
‘When I look back on my life, as you do as you approach eighty, that is one of the questions I cannot find the answer to.
‘Why did Harry never come to meet me? He has the means to fly around the world – and he does – but why didn’t he come see me, especially when royals like Jason Knauf [Harry and Meghan’s former communications secretary] urged him to do so? That never made sense to me.
“What man marries without meeting his wife’s father?”
As he speaks, the consequences of a serious stroke he suffered two years ago become clear. Sometimes he has trouble finding words or stumbles over sentences. He endures the aches and pains of old age, including a bad knee and a bad back, and is frustrated when he cannot remember names and places.
Mr Markle feels “deep empathy” for King Charles, who is “in the same boat” about not seeing his grandchildren.
‘I would like to speak to him because I’m sure he has as many unanswered questions as I do. Neither of us deserves the treatment we have received.
‘He is undergoing cancer treatment and I am not in the best of health. I’m not afraid of dying. It is what it is.
“I have so many questions I want to ask Meghan and Harry. The most important one is: why did they treat not only me, but also the royal family and the king so badly?’
Like millions of people around the world, Mr Markle saw the stunning images from last weekend’s Trooping The Colour, which marked the first appearance of Catherine, Princess of Wales, since her cancer diagnosis.
But it was the sight of William and Catherine’s three children – George, Charlotte and Louis – on the balcony of Buckingham Palace that moved him.
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex with Archie, five, and Lilibet, three. Mr. Markle has not met any of his grandchildren
Mr Markle said: ‘It seemed very sad to me that Meghan and Harry’s children are being denied the right to know their cousins, who look like fantastic children.
‘The relationship between cousins is special. There is a unique bond.
“I think it’s a shame that Lilibet and Archie don’t get the chance to get to know their cousins and take part in things like Trooping The Colour, which is their birthright.
‘They reach the age where they start asking questions, as all children do.
“At some point it is inevitable that they will ask their parents why they cut them off from both sides of the family?
‘They have two grandfathers who want to see them, one of whom is the King of England. I never in my 80 years thought I would be in the same boat as the king.
“The decisions Meghan and Harry have made will impact their children for the rest of their lives. I wonder how Archie and Lilibet will feel in a few years when they realize what they’ve been missing.”
An Emmy Award-winning Hollywood lighting director, Mr. Markle’s long life has taken him from small-town Pennsylvania to the bright lights of Hollywood.
His father Gordon worked as a printer at Olmsted Air Force Base outside the family’s hometown of Newport, Pennsylvania, while his mother Doris managed the sweet counter at a “five-and-dime” budget store.
Tom began performing in theater productions in high school and later joined a local theater group, where his talent blossomed.
He got a job at public television WTTW in Chicago and spent more than a decade on a groundbreaking live music program called Soundstage, a precursor to shows like Top Of The Pops, working with Aretha Franklin and Billy Joel.
After divorcing his first wife Rosalyn, the mother of his two eldest children Samantha and Tom Jr., he decided to try his luck in Hollywood. In Los Angeles, he initially worked in a motel, where he worked with prostitutes and an accused murderer, before getting his big break on ABC television.
“I’ve had a colorful life,” he said. “When I worked at the motel, I was friends with a bodyguard named Gregory Diles.”
Diles, who died in 1997, was tried and acquitted for his involvement in a case known as the Wonderland Murders, in which four people were killed during a brutal robbery of a drug dealer’s home. The case remains unsolved.
Mr Markle said: ‘These were interesting times. I loved my career and loved being behind the camera. I’ve worked with some of the biggest stars in Hollywood, like Elizabeth Taylor, and been on the red carpet at the Oscars.’
Mr. Markle became the lighting director for two popular shows, General Hospital and Married With Children.
He met Meghan’s mother Doria when she worked as a secretary at the same studio and although they divorced when Meghan was two, they remained close.
“We had such an amicable divorce that after I retired to Mexico and had to go to LA, I would stay with Doria and she would cook me dinner.
‘I always took good care of Meghan and Doria and I enjoyed doing so. There was never any bad blood between us until Meghan met Harry.”
Meghan lived with her father full-time from the age of 11 when Doria started an import and export business and traveled extensively. “Meghan grew up with the TV sets I worked on. I picked her up from school myself or sent a car to pick her up and take her to the set.
‘Those are the happy times I look back on. Meghan had a wonderful childhood and I was lucky to spend so much time with her as a father.
“She claims she accomplished everything herself, but one of the directors of General Hospital, Owen Renfroe, gave her one line to read that helped her get an actors’ union card. That started her career.’
His living room in Rosarito is filled with memories. On the mantel above the fireplace is a photo of Meghan graduating from Little Red Schoolhouse kindergarten.
Her graduation photo from Immaculate Heart High School hangs on another wall.
A photo of Tom taking Meghan to the Emmy Awards – television’s Oscars – when she was ten or eleven hangs on the wall above the couch I’m sitting on.
He says: ‘The one thing I could never have imagined was that Meghan would turn on me at this point in my life. I thought she would always be there for me.
‘Meghan was mad at me for posing for some paparazzi photos before the wedding. I was all alone and hunted. A photographer went to my daughter Samantha and convinced her that the photos would improve my image.
‘It was a mistake and I have apologized for it repeatedly.
Mr Markle will celebrate his 80th birthday on July 18, but doesn’t expect to hear from Meghan
“If you look at what Harry and Meghan have done since then, such as accusing the royal family of racism, it is far worse than anything I have done. I don’t want pity and I don’t want this episode to define my life. I don’t want to be a footnote in history.
‘I’ve never felt old, but it touched me a few years ago when people stood up and offered me their seats.
‘When the drama started with Meghan and Harry I was already well into my seventies and although I didn’t realize it at the time, I was vulnerable.’
Mr Markle wonders if the royals are blaming him for their problems with Meghan. “The person she has become is not the girl I raised, but I wonder if they are blaming the Markle family for everything that went wrong.
‘She started to change when she was living in Canada filming Suits and hanging out with the Soho House [an exclusive members’ club and hotel chain] crowd.
‘She started acting. Things escalated after she met Harry.
‘It bothers me that the name Markle is now associated with negativity. People talk about being ‘Flagged’ when they get dumped for no reason. That makes me sad.’
Mr. Markle will celebrate his birthday on July 18 with his son Tom Jr. and will speak to his eldest daughter Samantha on the phone (she suffers from multiple sclerosis and cannot travel from her home in Florida to be with him).
Ahead of his big day, he is already receiving wishes from friends and former colleagues.
“I don’t expect to hear from Meghan and Harry,” he said. “I wish we could have resolved this situation. I was always ready for that.’