Twelve wins from 12, 45 goals, five conceded. Welcome to the impeccable existence of PSV, top of the Eredivisie under fresh summer face Peter Bosz.
Life is usually good for the people of Eindhoven, but rarely so destructive. They have lost just one home game in 2023 and their most common scoreline in this campaign is 4-0.
You’ll have to scroll down to San Marino and Gibraltar to find the only other two European competitions where a team has won every match. No other top team has the same perfection.
Anyone who saw Arsenal dismantle PSV 4-0 in the Emirates in September would have thought they were Champions League cannon fodder, but their rematch in December at the Philips Stadium is a chance to turn the tables.
They have since risen to second place in their Champions League group and will be eager to shock Europe.
But how on earth did they do this, with a 33-year-old former Newcastle flop in charge?
Peter Bosz took charge of PSV this summer and lost only one of 21 matches, of which he won 17
Luuk De Jong has rediscovered his best form at the age of 33 with already 17 goals this season
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Bosz took over in July after a good year under Ruud van Nistelrooy. The former Man United striker had delivered the KNVB Cup and the Johan Cruyff Shield in his only season at the helm as he pushed Feyenoord to the Eredivisie title.
However, Van Nistelrooy had a tense relationship with the players and the fans were hungry for something more. Something to believe in, a philosophy to support.
When Van Nistelrooy resigned, the club knew they had to replace his direct, abrasive approach with something much more glamorous.
Step forward Bosz with his attractive, marketable style. No Premier League has had more shots, no team has had more possession and no team has won the ball in the final third more often. Try to complain about that.
Their manager has made the rounds in European football, managing ten teams in four countries. In his most recent roles he has taken charge of Ajax, Borussia Dortmund, Bayer Leverkusen and Lyon. He took Ajax to the Europa League final in 2016/17, where they lost to Manchester United but won the hearts of Europe.
The proof is there: Bosz can transform teams. And that’s a good thing, because on paper this is certainly not a world class winner.
Luuk de Jong leads with seventeen goals – as many as Erling Haaland – rekindling an old romance with the club to rediscover his best form.
He never quite made it outside the Dutch top. A 12-game spell at Newcastle produced no goals and he didn’t set the world on fire with Sevilla and Barcelona.
Yet he is now closing in on Johan Cruyff in the Eredivisie’s all-time top scorer rankings, as just seven more goals would take him past the Dutch legend into sixth place in the history books.
Ex-Chelsea youth player Patrick Van Aanholt is aiming for the first national title of his career
Armel Bella-Kotchap, the young central defender of Southampton, has been having a hard time on loan
PSV suffered a humiliating 4-0 defeat to Arsenal in September, but welcome them back in December
Even in the twilight of his career, Chelsea Academy graduate and ex-Crystal Palace player Patrick van Aanholt is in control of the left back.
Young Southampton centre-back Armel Bella-Kotchap, who played in most of the Premier League games last season, is struggling to get minutes on loan. The competition is strong.
This is a team packed with talent. Last summer they signed Dutch international Noa Lang, a long-term target for Arsenal, from Club Brugge. American star Ricardo Pepi also came through the door, as did Hirving Lozano, who won the Serie A with Napoli, and Sergino Dest on loan from Barcelona.
Between the sticks is Walter Benitez, who had an impressive Ligue 1 career at Nice.
It remains to be seen how far this PSV team can go, but Ajax have proven with their recent Europa League and Champions League exploits that the ceiling is high for Dutch clubs.
Peter Bosz has the experience. This is his chance to prove his worth.