Matt Willis has admitted that he is “always worried about a relapse” when talking about his drinking and drug addiction.
The Busted star, 40, will bare his soul in a new documentary about his addiction battle that spent most of his life struggling to stay sober after being catapulted to fame at age 19.
And speaking to Lorraine, Matt explained that he has “certain things” that he does to help him in his ongoing recovery and confessed that he felt “selfish” for prioritizing himself and making sure he wasn’t tempted to turn to booze or drugs again.
Speaking on Wednesday’s Lorraine, Matt said he was worried about relapsing on the upcoming Busted tour after previously relapsing during the band’s last reunion in 2016.
He said: ‘I’m always a little worried about relapse, it’s a chronic relapsing addiction.
Fears: Matt Willis has admitted he is ‘always worried about relapse’ when he opened up about his drink and drug addiction
“I have certain things I do every day that I’m very, very picky about and I feel like I have to be. I felt quite selfish at times because it’s my number one priority. But without that, everything else falls to pieces.’
He added of bandmates James Bourne and Charlie Simpson, “Luckily the guys are great and love me and want me to be okay. And we have work to do, so it’s in everyone’s best interest that I don’t go down.
“I feel good about that now, everything is good with Busted now.”
Meanwhile, Busted has shown support for the rocker, but so has his wife Emma Willis, though Matt admitted she was reluctant to film the documentary.
He told Lorraine Kelly about his wife, “Emma did some talking to get involved because we’ve been kind of private with our lives and never really been open.
“I felt like that was such a powerful part, it was kind of like she went through everything with me and stayed with me through everything and a lot of people sometimes told her not to do that.
“But he saw something in me and she knew she could help and she did en masse.”
He went on to discuss when he and Emma, 2008, met other addicts and lovers for the movie.
Open: The Busted star, 40, will bare his soul in a new documentary about his addiction battle who spent most of his life struggling to stay sober after being catapulted to fame at age 19
Tough: Matt explained that he has “certain things” that he does to help him in his further recovery and confessed that he felt “selfish” for prioritizing himself and making sure he wasn’t tempted to go back to to take drink or drugs
He said, ‘That was a great experience. Emma has never done anything like this before and she was very nervous.
But she resonated with everything everyone said, and that’s for the loved ones of people with addiction.
“That’s the forgotten story, because it’s always about the addict, and that’s important because that’s when you get clean, but the effect it has on the people who love them is so huge.”
It comes after Matt opened up about his “really sad” battle with drugs and alcohol in a new interview.
Speak against radio times of his addiction, he admitted, “Addicts are very good at hiding everything. I have yet to meet a stupid addict. They are underhanded and manipulative.
Concerned: During a speech in Lorraine on Wednesday, Matt said he was worried about a relapse during the upcoming Busted tour after previously relapsing during the band’s last reunion in 2016
Fame game: The rose to fame with his band Busted when he was just 19 (pictured with bandmates Charlie Simpson and James Bourne in 2004)
There for him: “Luckily the guys are great and they love me and want me to be okay. And we’ve got work to do, so it’s in everyone’s best interest that I don’t break down’
It’s not rock ‘n’ roll. It wasn’t glamorous, it was really sad.’
The singer, who was in his early 20s, said he couldn’t make it to lunch without drugs or alcohol.
Later, during the 2017 tour, he did “six grams (cocaine) on my own every day and didn’t come home until three in the morning” – a month after he started using the drug again.
Matt has made a documentary Fighting Addiction with the BBC, which will be released on May 17.
He said making the documentary made him realize the impact his addiction had on Emma, who often broke down in tears for fear of relapsing.
Support: While Busted has supported the rocker, so has his wife Emma Willis, though Matt admitted she was reluctant to film the documentary
Partnership: “I felt like that was such a powerful part, it was kind of like she went through everything with me and stayed with me through everything and a lot of people sometimes told her not to do that”
Chat: “That’s the forgotten story, because everything always revolves around the addict, and that’s important because then you get clean, but the effect that has on the people who love them is so huge”
“It was hard for me to see how much that fear still reigned in her,” says Willis, before adding that the documentary made the couple realize “we still had some talking.”
Matt previously shared some of the harsh realities of his battle with drug addiction and the toll it took on his relationship with his wife.
The star candidly admitted that he would make Emma think she was crazy during the height of his addiction battle.
During heavy binges, Matt revealed that he had even left notes saying he was “sorry” for his current wife, when he was convinced he wouldn’t wake up the next day.
In an interview with the GuardianMatt spoke of the “nights when he thought he had gone too far, drunk too much and done too many drugs.”
Matt said he would leave notes for his wife in case he didn’t wake up. “Say sorry,” he says. The next morning he would find the note before she did and throw it away.
Matt Willis has shared some of the harsh realities of his battle with drug addiction and the toll it took on his relationship with wife Emma Willis
The documentary examines the impact of Matt’s addiction on Emma, a popular TV presenter and mother of his three children.
Emma began tracking Matt’s drinking and drug use by keeping a diary and admitted that she feared he would eventually take his own life.
Reflecting on how it damaged their relationship, he says, “[Part of the recovery process] is that you make amends to people you have hurt. I never did that with Emma; I don’t think I ever can. I think the way I choose to do it is to be this man, every day.
“If she notices something, I take it to heart and listen, not argue. I say, “You feel that way; that means I’m doing something that’s not in your head.” Because I was the mastermind behind gaslighting, which made her think she was crazy. I’m so ashamed of that and I never want her to feel that way again.”