My wife had plastic surgery and I hate the way she looks now – it’s completely ruined our sex life because I don’t want to look at her

A man has been defended after revealing he no longer finds his wife attractive after she underwent plastic surgery.

The unnamed man shared on Reddit that he now “turns off the lights” during sex and tries to avoid looking at her after she had “the fat sucked out of her face, lip fillers, a neck lift, and other things.”

He explained that after she returned from the procedure, he was stunned to see her face change so drastically and that he no longer desired her in a sexual way – prompting him to tell her, causing problems in their marriage and even made his husband run away. door.

In a thread titled ‘Am I the hole?‘, he wondered if he was wrong for telling his wife that he was no longer attractive to her.

At the beginning of the message, he noted that his wife was convinced to have the operation done by her mother and sister.

Despite his disagreement, his wife went ahead with the procedure.

The message read: ‘My wife recently had plastic surgery. We had talked about it and I was against it. It wasn’t my decision and ultimately I had no say in it.

‘She looks funny now. She had the fat sucked out of her face, lip fillers, a neck lift, and other things I don’t really understand.

“She’s giving me uncanny valley vibes right now. It makes me crazy. She is now completely healed and she wants us to get back to normal. The way I start having sex. I did that, but not as often as I used to. And when I do that, I try to make sure there is very little light.

‘It’s been a few months and I hate having to look at her. She has clearly noticed. She’s been bugging me to tell her what’s going on. I tried telling her that I’m just tired from work. Or that I’m exhausted. Actually everything but the truth.’

He noted that his wife realized his behavior and then became sure he was cheating on her.

She even demanded to go through his phone, which he allowed her, but she discovered that she didn’t commit him to an affair because he doesn’t have one.

Finally, the man decided to open up about his feelings towards his wife.

He explained: ‘She broke down and asked me if I was having an affair. I said I wasn’t. She asked if she could look at my phone. I opened it for her and handed it over. I wasn’t worried about her finding anything because there’s nothing to find. She looked through it for an hour, but found nothing. She asked me to explain why I had changed. I tried to explain that I just wasn’t that interested at the moment.

“Nothing I said was good enough for her. She kept digging. I finally told the truth. I wasn’t harsh or brutally honest. I just told her that I didn’t find her new face attractive and that I wasn’t happy with it. She asked if that’s why I turn off all the lights now. I said yes. She started crying and said she needed time alone. She went to stay with her sister.’

After he revealed the truth, his wife stormed out of the house, leaving him with some choice words.

He added: “I have been called every name in the book since this happened. Her sister said I’m a piece of shit because I insult my wife’s appearance. Her friends all think I’m fucked.’

At the end of the post, he wondered if he was wrong for telling the truth.

He added: “I wasn’t trying to say anything. I can’t force myself to find her attractive. I still love her, but her face is just weird now.”

People on the internet flooded the comments section and rushed to his defense.

One person said: ‘SHE. DID. ALL. BY. THIS. ….and I still can’t take any personal responsibility or behave like an adult in it.’

Another user added, “NTA, I think you handled the situation the best you could, but there’s a difficult conversation you and her need to have soon.”

Someone else wrote: ‘NTA. It’s not my thing, and I’m lucky it’s not my husband either. You discussed it, you expressed your concerns, she did it anyway, as was her right. But choices have consequences and these are the consequences she actively chose, knowing how you felt. Freedom of choice does not mean freedom from consequences. She can’t pretend to be surprised by Pikachu now (well, I mean, technically she could, but I don’t buy it). And set her flying monkeys on you? Not cool.’

“NTA, it’s not your fault you don’t find her new face attractive. That is not a choice of conscience. I’m all for people doing what they want with their bodies, but if they’re in a relationship and their partner says they hate the body modification, that person needs to consider the risk of doing it that his partner lacks it. attraction.

Do I think now that you might have wanted to admit what was wrong much earlier? Absolutely,” someone else wrote.

Someone else added: “NTA. Just like if she got zombie face tattoos, she has the right to choose to undergo such things, but she also has to accept the consequences.

“You made your position clear beforehand, it’s not like you pressured her to get it and then backed down.”

In the past, a man turned to Jane Green for help after his wife was involved in a horrific car accident that left her with horrific injuries – and ultimately led to the amputation of her leg.

He noted that she now had a prosthetic leg and was doing physiotherapy – adding that it has been a tough few years for them, especially her, but that she is quite positive about her future and her ‘new normal’ as she calls it.

Then he wondered if he would be an asshole if he divorced her and walked away.

Jane noted that the man would not be wrong if he divorced her.

Another woman told Jane that her husband had turned his father’s body into that of a gym fanatic and that she was no longer attracted to him.

Jane urged her to begin a journey of love for herself.