Jana Hocking: How I was set for my first threesome just weeks ago… until I screwed it up

Confession: I want to have a threesome. As I walk through this new sexually liberated landscape, it really bothers me that this is still on my to-do list.

And not just any trio. I don’t want to go to a swingers club and say ‘Okay, whose interest is it?’ No, I want it to be with an attractive partner, and I want it to happen organically.

Annoyingly, this very opportunity presented itself to me last month and I tragically blew it.

I was on a cross country day and the drinks were really flowing. A couple I almost knew joined a group of us, and we hit it off like a house on fire. Seriously, I’m not making this up when I say it gives Thor vibes and looks like a Barbie doll.

As the day progressed I moved to chat with other people and as I walked past him he slid his hand comfortably down my hip and down my butt. My first thought was ‘Ooft, that’s a bit cheeky’, but when I realized that he was in front of his partner and she didn’t blink, I was curious.

When I returned a little later, slightly lubricated from an espresso martini, the flirtation was at ten.

As I passed them again on the way to the bar, he gently grabbed my butt a second time in front of his partner. Oh, the bravado of it all. By now I was thinking to myself, this is on!

By the time we were ready to go we had exchanged numbers and agreed to go home, strip out of our racing gear and head to the local pub and ‘see where the night took us’ wink wink.

Now this is where I was wrong. Once I realized that I might very well be having my first threesome, I let my nerves get the better of me and consumed too much white wine. Now there’s one thing I know for sure after being exposed to many bully bags of white wine in college. I, Jana Hocking, can’t drink white wine. Literally more than one drink and I think I’m Beyoncé.

So I had a couple of drinks and when I got home I was ready for a short nap. I decided to lay on my bed for a hot second and…well…woke up eight hours later to a bunch of texts from the horny couple asking me where I’d gone.

Yes, I slept through my first threesome.

I was laughing about it with a close friend later that day when I was reminded of the text I had received from a mutual friend a couple of weeks earlier who had not-so-subtly asked me if I would like to participate in some doona. action with her and a coworker later that night. It became apparent during their meaningless text messages that they had enjoyed a long lunch and were looking to keep the party going.

Now, first of all, I’m glad you’re considering it, but seriously… when did threesomes become the norm?

I started asking my friends if they had ever had a threesome and an incredibly high percentage said yes.

Friend One recalled going to a wedding recently and seeing a couple try it on on all the women in the room. He happily reported that he saw the couple dating a very emotional woman at the end of the night.

Friend Two is a happily married mother of three who admits she tried it during her experimental college days. She said from memory that it was pretty hot for her, but she got a little uncomfortable the next morning when everyone recovered. She stopped hanging out with the couple soon after because the guy seemed a bit jealous and territorial with his girlfriend.

Friend Three threw caution to the wind at the Burning Man Festival and had a threesome in a tent with a couple he had never seen before and hasn’t seen since, which I guess is pretty standard. She rated it highly, saying that the festival was a safe place to act out her fantasies and said that she will definitely do it again at next year’s event.

Friend four is a guy at work who told me his partner surprised him for his birthday by hiring a hooker to join them in the bedroom. As it turned out, she was trash and struggled to really commit to the task. In her exact words ‘It was a complete fizz, and she wasn’t attractive!’ But kudos to them for trying.

But here’s the thing…none of these friends give off super sexually kinky vibes. They are not people you would assume have had a threesome. Which proves my point, threesomes really are the new norm.

You do not believe me? According to a study conducted in the US by the National Library of Medicine, approximately one person in five has participated in some type of threesome at some point in their life. The study noted that this makes it as common as owning a cat. own a cat

Yeah, it turns out there are a lot of people who get excited about the idea of ​​a threesome. Whether it’s because you want to explore your sexuality, you’ve always been turned on by threesome porn, you fancy watching your partner do it with someone else, or you’re in a long-term relationship and want to spice things up. There are many reasons why ‘normal’ people participate in this activity.

So if a threesome turns you on a bit but you’re more of an introvert than an extrovert, how do you go about it? Well, I did some research and the good news is that you can do it from the comfort of your own home.

There is an app called Feeld that is designed for “open minded” people. It encourages you to answer in your profile what kinds of kinks or sexual preferences you’re into, and after trying it myself (sadly not for long after a friend I went to high school with recognized me, shame) there’s many of couples looking for a third party, and vice versa.

For those of you a little more adventurous, why not hit the clubs, bars or parties and be transparent? You’ll be surprised who says yes!

So maybe a threesome is something to consider adding to your New Year’s resolution list. I’m sure it’s in mine.