JAN MOIR: Princess Lilibet? I thought Harry and Meghan wanted nothing to do with rotten Windsors!

Princess Lilibet Diana Mountbatten-Windsor. Sweet little thing. A thousand blessings to this American child who was baptized a few days ago at home in California.

As the gospel choir sang and holy water was sprinkled, the 21-month-old baby’s ties to the British royal family became more complicated. And that’s honestly amazing. For you can wish this little girl all the best in life, yet marvel at the righteous hypocrisy and knowledge of her parents.

A princess? Is there an error in this?

Because since they fled to America in 2020 to escape the rigors of royal life, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have given every impression of a couple who hate the concept of monarchy, along with the royal family and just about everyone else. in it.

According to their oft-told account; as an institution it is racist, as a historical construct it is indefensible and as a melting pot of family life it failed so badly on every point that Meghan, in her throes, contemplated suicide when she was pregnant with her first. And that’s just awful.

The first photo of Lilibet, daughter of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, was released in a Christmas card on December 23, 2021

A photo released by Archewell of Lilibet Diana Mountbatten-Windsor, the daughter of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, after celebrating her first birthday last June

You’d think they’d want nothing to do with the rotten villain Windsors and their crazy, wicked ways, wouldn’t you? Wrong. Very wrong.

As you boil the royal oil, as you crack open the ermine crust and finally get to the golden gravy underneath, you discover that Harry and Meghan really want everything to do with royalty. Everything! But above all the prestige, the cachet and especially the delightful titles, for themselves and also for their children.

If the pair had any moral qualities or decency, we wouldn’t be at this hypocritical crossroads – because the baptism of their young children certainly makes for a perfect farewell to the roads.

Refusing to use or glorify royal titles for Archie and Lilibet would have mothballed the monarchy in their troubled lives in one overwhelming, admirable gesture.

The Sussexes could have said goodbye forever to the boiled beef and custard sludge of a British life they clearly found hateful. They could have freed themselves from stifling tradition and embarrassing privilege, and instead fully embraced America’s glittering meritocracy.

That would have been bold, progressive, and non-elitist, which is exactly what this pair always claim to be, against all evidence to the contrary.

Instead, the reality is that they want to cling to the titles and prestige like a sea slug clinging to the teak hull of a royal yacht; the way a leech fixes on a throbbing, pumping royal vein and sticks its fangs into it for the long haul. They’ll stick to and they’ll suck at these Windsor hookups because it’s convenient for them financially and socially — and frankly, what are they without them? She is a television actress, he is a walking rag doll of fashionable neuroses with a mind that we now learn has been ‘wiped clean’ by cannabis and hallucinogenic drugs.

Prince William, second from right, Kate, Princess of Wales, right, Prince Harry, left, and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, second from left, leave after paying their respects to Queen Elizabeth II at Westminster Hall for the Lying in September -in State last year

Charles, Prince William and Catherine, Prince Harry and Meghan attend the annual Commonwealth Service at Westminster Abbey in March 2020

Tyler Perry at a Los Angeles airport last Friday, on the day he attended Lilibet’s christening as her godfather

Harry’s father, King Charles III (centre), met the governor of Western Australia and his wife at Buckingham Palace today

Harry even recently got himself diagnosed by some mind doctor, live on a pay-per-view streaming platform, watched by millions around the world. This is a new low, even for him.

Gawking at freaks fell out of favor in Victorian England, but our exiled prince seems single-handedly opening up a rich new set of curiosities, and I don’t mean his frozen penis.

You have to wonder if Harry and Meghan have put much thought into this. What does it actually mean to be a prince or princess in a constitutional federal republic like America? Aren’t they historically inclined to oppose all that nonsense? Perhaps this baptism signifies a consolidation of plans to form a West Coast monarchy, complete with the officiating Bishop of Los Angeles and more famous millionaires than relatives present at the ceremony.

News of Princess Lilibet’s christening was sent to the world via the glossy, gossip magazine People, alongside news of Priscilla Presley and Riley Keough’s feud over Lisa Marie Presley’s recently deceased trust fund, and news of Disney’s new production of The Little Mermaid.

Dear God. Such royal events used to be announced on a ticket in the courtyard of Buckingham Palace, but are now in a very different reality.

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