- Ivan Cleary has detailed some of his darkest moments
- Says he regrets not initially sharing his struggles with his wife
- If you require support, please contact Lifeline 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue 1300 224 636
Penrith Panthers coach Ivan Cleary has given new details about his mental health struggles and revealed he wishes he had spoken to his wife Rebecca about what he was going through.
The four-time premiership-winning coach is on top of the world after Penrith’s historic victory against the Storm in the NRL decider, but few are aware of how much the reserved 53-year-old has struggled in his private life.
When Cleary returned to Penrith in 2019 after a difficult spell with the Tigers, he found his mental health deteriorating.
“I had a few examples when I was with the Warriors, but in the 2019 season I felt very overwhelmed for so many different reasons. Not least because I coached Nathan,” he told SEN radio.
‘I wasn’t in a great head space and I thought this was affecting Nathan too, which created a lot of guilt for me.
“The Panthers board put so much faith in me to bring me back to the club and I really felt like I was letting them down. I think sometimes that responsibility can be a burden.”
Panthers coach Ivan Cleary has provided new details about his low points
Cleary says he didn’t even tell his wife Rebecca (pictured) how he felt – and he now regrets it
Cleary says he regrets not initially telling his wife Rebecca how he really felt.
“I haven’t talked to anyone about it and I haven’t even told my wife,” he said.
‘And that was the mistake I made then.
“And that’s part of what I’m trying to convey in the book. It’s so important to talk about these things.’
Cleary, who eventually took antidepressants, wants more men to talk about their problems in an effort to save lives.
“The thing about men is we just don’t talk about depression,” Cleary told News Corp in October.
‘If you do that, you feel like a failure.
“And you know, there’s something where you have to be strong enough to be able to carry the can and get through it.
Cleary (pictured with son Nathan after the 2024 NRL final) wants more men to talk about their problems in a bid to save lives
“I’m going to talk about men in this case, where they have the responsibility of being the breadwinner for their family or just have other issues in their lives.
“But that doesn’t mean you’re not resilient and/or tough just because you have to talk about it.
‘And often just talking about it helps, you realize that other people are going through it and that can sometimes give you the kick to keep going.’
If this has caused you any problems, please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636