It’s official, the census says: Gay male couples like San Francisco. Lesbians like the Berkshires
Gay male couples tend to gravitate toward large cities on the U.S. coast, while lesbian couples prefer smaller, more rural towns or cities, according to 2020 Census figures that revealed some biases about LGBTQ+ communities in the US
According to a report released last week by the U.S. Census Bureau, the counties with the highest concentrations of male same-sex households are San Francisco, Manhattan, Boston and Washington, D.C.
Some of the highest concentrations of female same-sex households were in Hampshire and Franklin County in the Berkshires, a rural region in western Massachusetts that is home to several colleges, art museums, and theaters. Also in the census were the counties that include Portland, Oregon; Asheville, North Carolina; and Ithaca, New York, home to Cornell University and Ithaca College.
The locations aren’t entirely surprising, given that they fit the cultural stereotype of gay men as city people and lesbians as outdoorsy people, said Crissi Dalfonzo, director of the Center for LGBT Education, Outreach and Services at Ithaca College.
“Stereotypes often exist for a reason, but they can be problematic because they take away from individuality,” Dalfonzo said.
Gender pay inequality may also be a factor. Experts say some of the differences may be due to the fact that male couples have higher incomes and can live in more expensive big cities, while female couples are more likely to raise children.
“In general, large urban environments are more expensive and less child-friendly than suburban and rural areas, so it makes sense that female couples would choose less urban locations,” said Gary Gates, a retired UCLA demographer who has studied LGBTQ+ issues.
The differences play into some traditional stereotypes, but they may also come down to where male and female couples feel most comfortable, whether that’s a sense of community and safety in smaller towns or the comfort of “gay neighborhoods” in big cities, said Amy Stone, a professor of sociology at Trinity University in San Antonio.
“It’s where people feel safe to live or where they find support. Where gay couples feel safe and where female couples feel safe is not always the same place,” Stone said.
Stone attended Amherst College in Hampshire County, Massachusetts, in the Berkshires, which is also home to the University of Massachusetts Amherst and two historically all-women colleges, Smith and Mount Holyoke. The county had the largest share of same-sex female couples in the U.S., at nearly 4%, according to the 2020 census. Over the decades, it has been home to lesbian music and film festivals, as well as dozens of lesbian-owned businesses and cultural institutions.
“Everyone knew it was a place where lesbians often stayed after graduation,” Stone said. “There have been a lot of lesbian institutes there for a long time.”
San Francisco County had the highest share of male same-sex households, at nearly 6%.
There was some overlap among the 10 cities and counties with the largest shares of female- and male-only same-sex households: Washington, D.C.; Richmond, Virginia; and St. Louis. The list for male-only same-sex households was rounded out by counties or parishes that house New Orleans, Denver, Atlanta, and Fort Lauderdale, Florida. For female-only same-sex households, it included the county that housed Decatur, Georgia, a suburb of Atlanta; and Baltimore.
In pure numbers, Los Angeles County was the most popular for both types of same-sex couples, but it is also by far the most populous county in the US, with more than 10 million residents.
In the current format of the once-a-decade census, LGBTQ+ people are only captured if they are living together as spouses or partners, via questions about household relationships, which by some estimates is only about one-sixth of the LGBTQ+ population in the US. As a result, people who are single or not living together, and transgender people, are missed.
Only in the last decade has the Census Bureau added “same sex” and “other sex” to the relationship categories for spouses and unmarried partners in the surveys and the census.
The Census Bureau is currently adding questions about sexual orientation and gender identity for people ages 15 and older in the annual American Community Survey, the agency’s most comprehensive survey of American life.
Gay couples are highly visible in Broward County, home to Fort Lauderdale, which has a gay police chief and mayor, said Keith Blackburn, head of the Greater Fort Lauderdale LGBT Chamber of Commerce.
“It’s the warmth and acceptance that everyone in Broward County seems to give our community. We have a lot of openly gay officers,” Blackburn said. “You see gay couples everywhere holding hands.”
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