>
A mother was enraged when two friends gave her a hefty bill for a service just months after receiving her family for free.
momsnet User Tallyhodavey said a couple, whom she had known for 15 years, stayed at her home in the Cotswolds for a holiday in the summer when their usual holiday rental was full.
Months later, she needed advice on buying a property and when she asked her husband, an architect, for help, he agreed and gave her his daily rate.
It quickly became clear on the day that it would not be a good idea to buy the property due to various issues, and the woman was surprised to receive a bill from her friend for a “not insignificant sum” some time later.
The woman said she was “really aggrieved” but commenters agreed that regardless of whether or not the house sale went through, her friend had been clear about her daily rate from the start and insisted that she owed his time.
Mumsnet user Tallyhodavey said a couple, whom she had known for 15 years, stayed at her home in the Cotswolds for a summer holiday (file image)
Explaining the situation, the woman said she has been friends with the London-based couple for around 15 years and usually sees them once or twice a year.
The summer after the lockdown, they stayed at home in the Cotswolds with their two children for a week.
‘They accepted and we had a fun week. We provide room and board for them and their two children,” she said. ‘We cooked etc as I recall they brought some food with them. But most of it is provided by us. We are glad to do it.
A few months ago, the woman and her partner were buying a house and asked the architect husband for advice.
“He told us his daily rate: it would involve a day out of London and he would have to stay with us,” he said. ‘We happily hosted it, cooked dinner, took it out for lunch the next day after our site visit.
Your services came with ‘loose plans’ for the new house, including a brief briefing and advice on design.
But the house was a “wreck” and he called off the deal after getting advice from his friend, a roofer and builder, then went out to lunch with his friend.
Mumsnet user Tallyhodavey said a couple, whom she had known for 15 years, stayed at her home in the Cotswolds for a summer holiday.
He didn’t get a bill right away and didn’t expect to get one until it showed up a few months later.
She was surprised because he made it clear that they would never buy the property.
Fast forward a few months, and he received the bill again, which he described as “a not insignificant sum.”
In his message, he added that he would be in the Cotswolds in a few weeks and “would love to meet up”.
The mother asked users if it was ‘reasonable’ to feel so aggrieved.
“If we had bought the house, I could understand it,” he said. In the grand scheme of things, she got a free week of vacation with us.
‘I understand that we agreed to his daily rate in advance, but in these circumstances I would have expected him to have waived it or simply asked about travel costs.
It has made me want to pay it off and never speak to them again.
However, she quickly discovered that people were on the side of her architect friend.
One user said: ‘He provided you with a service, so it’s not unreasonable that he still bills you. If he lost financially because of it, I think it’s fair even if it’s a small amount.
A second added: ‘You hired their services. He told you his rates and then made his visit. Whether you bought or not is irrelevant. He still did his job.
“That’s precisely why business and pleasure shouldn’t mix and if they do, you need to be very clear on your expectations and needs and also understand those of the other side.”
A third added: ‘This is the problem with having friends working for you. You need to separate the vacation and the architect side of things. The fact that you didn’t buy the house is irrelevant, he still took a day out of London to help you.
However, some commenters sided with the woman, saying her friend shouldn’t take advantage of her hospitality and then turn it into a business transaction when she does her a favor.
‘My husband is a plumber and we have run into these awkward situations with friends. Just pay it off and move on.
And a fourth wrote: ‘Your professional work is in no way related to your hosting friends to stay at your home. It was very direct, and the fact that you didn’t buy it is irrelevant. Actually, it’s relevant: I bet he saved you a damn fortune with his professional advice, which he studied for years to learn his trade.
If staying with you bothers you, could you suggest a nice weekend in London?
While a fifth wrote: ‘He told you his daily rate, which you agreed to. He came when you asked, put his professional skills and knowledge at your disposal, and helped you make an informed decision, which means you avoided buying a money pit. You deserve to be paid for the time you spent.
‘That’s why I hate my husband doing jobs for friends and family. It’s always harder to get people we know to pay him a fair rate for his skills and abilities.
However, a handful of people sided with the woman and one agreed that she should have factored in the free vacation.
‘This is a situation where you have to pay him because you agreed to. But I’m on your side,’ said one.
‘A decent person would understand and acknowledge the kindness you showed in saving them many hundreds of pounds by letting them stay at your house free for a week for their holidays, providing and cooking most of the food and many other things.
And at least he would have given you a discount for that, and you didn’t even buy the house, which of course makes the full charge even more infuriating.
Another agreed, adding: “Personally, I would be disappointed in a so-called friend who had taken so much advantage of my hospitality and then turned stingy when he had the chance to return the favor.”