I’m a relationship coach – here is how to attract your dream man and the one thing you must ALWAYS discuss on first dates
A dating expert has revealed how to attract your dream partner, including the one thing you should always discuss on a first date.
Based in San Diego, Karla Elia is a certified relationship coach who helps women find their match after finding true love with husband Dustyn Elia – who popped the question after just six months.
The romantic realist, 24, suggests discussing your dreams and personal wishes on the first date.
She also advises making a “list of threes,” knowing what your relationship needs are and paying attention to both the red and green flags.
Karla Elia, 24, is a relationship coach and content creator from San Diego with a million followers on TikTok
She met her husband Dustyn Elia on Bumble and got engaged after six months
Karla is a TikTok success and more than a million fans listen to her honest and helpful advice.
In a recent YouTube video published on Sheraa digital platform dedicated to empowering women, Karla shared her story and provided advice on how to find the partner you want.
“Don’t talk about your past, talk about your dreams,” the coach warned.
“That’s the one thing you should always talk about on a first date.” Talk about what you want to do for yourself in your life.
“(On) the first few dates we (Dustyn and I) talked about our dreams, what we want, the family we would like, where we are going to live, what businesses we would like to build.
‘I knew what I wanted for myself… that I wanted to get into a relationship, date for a while and then get married.
‘I knew that the next man I would date would be the one for me.
“To a lot of people it sounds very dramatic, very rushed, but I knew exactly what I was looking for,” she admitted.
“I knew what I wanted for myself… that I wanted to get into a relationship, date for a while and then get married,” she said confidently
“I knew the next man I dated would be the one for me… I knew exactly what I was looking for,” she explained
The couple “courted” for two months and then officially dated for three months before he proposed six months after their first date. The couple married in May 2022
Karla met Dustyn on Bumble and says this method had a charm in the early stages of dating.
The couple “courted” for two months and then officially dated for three months before he proposed six months after their first date.
The couple married in May 2022.
Karla added: ‘When I met my husband (he) he was right where I was. He met my frequency (and) he met my energy.”
When she first started her coaching business, Dustyn supported Karla financially as she built a large following on TikTok.
The dating expert is now sharing her tips with her loyal fan base – including the ‘list of threes’, red and green flags and why you should always start dating with a clear idea of what you want from your partner.
When she first started her coaching business, Dustyn supported Karla financially as she built a large following on TikTok
Karla created the “lists of three” approach, which she advises clients to create before starting a new relationship.
For example, one list consists of a group of three non-negotiables: things you don’t want to give in to.
The second list contains three personality traits that your dream lover would have.
The third list consists of three physical aspects you want them to have.
Karla said, “These are all things you need and are essential to finding this man attractive.
‘That’s why I made this list of threes – it’s very reasonable and not unattainable.
“When you step into reality, you realize that good men exist, but the reason you can’t find them is because you don’t know what you want. So making this list of threes will give you a guideline.
“The list of threes is your standard and when you go out, when you meet different men, you don’t be tempted to give someone your time if he or she doesn’t meet your expectations.
Karla created the “lists of three” approach, which she advises clients to create before starting a new relationship
‘One list is a group of three non-negotiables. The second list contains three personality traits. The third list is three physical aspects you want them to have,” she explained
“The list of threes is your standard and when you go out you won’t be persuaded to give someone your time if they don’t meet your expectations,” she said
“The reason why many of you settle or don’t find these men is because you choose to rely on feelings instead of your values.
‘But if you have your standards very clear – and that’s why making a list of threes is essential – you can spot the good guys or the cheaters or the supplier’s guys.
“It becomes so easy and so instinctive for you because you recognize your list (so), that you stop wasting your time,” she suggests.
Karla explains that knowing what you expect from a relationship can help you find the right person.
She added, “You have to understand and know what you are looking for.
“You have to know what your non-negotiables are. You need to know your personality types and what you are attracted to.
“Another thing you need to know is who you are compatible with,” she advises.
She recommends avoiding men who are “sweet talkers, men who constantly talk about their past, and men who try to look through your phone,” she warned.
Karla also advises looking for the three most important ‘green flags’ in a man.
She said: ‘He is a man of his word. He does not say that he acts with actions instead of words.
“(The second is) he’s generous. (The third) is that he is on time.
“I know a lot of people think this is obvious, but when a man is on time and respects other people’s time, that’s super sexy because that means he’s going to respect your time too,” she said.
As for her three red flags?
She recommends avoiding men who are “sweet talkers,” men who constantly talk about their past and men who try to look through your phone, which indicates trust issues.