I filed for divorce after learning my husband was spying on me with a hidden camera to prove I’m lazy and worthless, but people say I’m the problem

A stay-at-home mum revealed she divorced her husband after he installed a hidden camera to spy on her to prove she is ‘lazy and worthless’.

The woman, who is from the US, took to Reddit to explain that she felt her privacy had been invaded, so she kicked her husband out of the house.

However, people were quick to point the finger at the woman and say she was actually the problem.

The mother of three explained that the row started when her husband, who was a “high earner”, claimed her organizational skills did not meet his expectations after their daughter missed an excursion.

A week after the field trip incident, her husband called her for neglecting to send checks to his employees and admitted that he had installed a hidden camera when he saw her lying down and watching TV, despite claiming to be busy.

The message read: ‘It’s been about a month since I found out my husband had placed a hidden camera in our living room to “prove” I’m lazy and worthless.

‘It was a small disguised camera hidden in what looked like a charging pad.

“He plugged one into an electrical socket in the living room. We have three kids who all have a bunch of chargers and such, so I didn’t suspect it.

“The point my husband was trying to prove was that my administrative skills don’t meet the Super Stay-at-Home Mom standards he deserves as a ‘high earner’.”

The woman went on to explain how it all started with her daughter’s permission slip for a school trip.

She continued, “I admit that things happened and we missed the filing deadline. I made a note to fill out the forms on another day because it was a task that I needed to be 100 percent focused on.

‘But it was the start of a new month, and that’s when I do most of the shopping and keep track of the bills/subscriptions.

‘I do the daily cleaning, but we use a deep cleaning/landscaping service that I had to supervise.

“Long story short, my 16 year old calls my husband after picking up her sister and says she was crying because she couldn’t go on a trip.

‘My husband drives to the school to beg to be allowed to fill out the forms at the office. Luckily they allowed him because it was the same day. I apologized profusely.

She claimed her partner told her about her communication and accounting skills.

She added, “I shouted back because his work is focused, while my work at home also has a lot of moving parts and emotional labor and I do it all behind the scenes. He tells me that I wasn’t that busy and had to do ‘easy’ things better.

‘A week later he gets into an argument about the fact that I’m not going to send checks to his employees that day, even though I could have done so the next day.

‘He admits on camera and starts citing ‘evidence’ of the times I was on my phone and that automatically equates to being crazy.

“I was on my phone researching meals that fit my daughter’s dietary restrictions while keeping her healthy as a ballet dancer. I was looking for subscriptions for frozen but healthy meals that she and the rest of us could enjoy on the go or at home.

‘The fact that he took offense that I occasionally lay down while I was investigating, or that I took a TV break before preparing dinner, did it for me. He knew my days are crazy during the first days of the month when the consent error happened. I threw him out of the house.

“It’s been a month and friends say I miss the fact that there are others who won’t ignore the things I do to make a high income possible. I ended up seeing a lawyer and just filed for divorce because I feel violated and devalued. AITA? (Am I the A******?).

Many critics felt that the mother should take responsibility for her actions, saying her duties were quite high-maintenance.

One person wrote: ‘The clincher for me is that your 16 year old called her dad instead of you to help her out of the trouble you caused.

‘I’m not convinced you’re as trustworthy as you think. Divorce him if you want, but YTA (you’re the asshole) about your parenting priorities.”

Another said: ‘Describing filling out a consent form as something you have to put off because it requires intense and uninterrupted focus is just wild.’

Someone else said: ‘Okay? Do you need 100 percent concentration for a whole day to sign your child’s consent forms? Work on your time management.’

A fourth said: ‘Her 16 year old also does the school pick up for the younger kids! From this I imagine that the eldest also does the morning episodes.

‘I can totally feel the frustration of the working partner. If you can’t trust your partner to get their money’s worth, you’ll be nervous all the time. What else is slipping through? She almost missed the deadline to send the paychecks to the employees!

‘That would make me sweat. Loss of trust in your partner is difficult to recover.’