A man seeks advice after revealing he suspects his wife of 15 years is having an “emotional affair” with a former colleague.
The anonymous man – who shares two children with his husband – has taken to Reddit to share his grief after seeing his wife quickly delete a message on her phone and lie about who it came from.
He told people on the Internet that after asking his wife several times who the text message was from, she finally told them it was from an ex-colleague.
To the Am I a hole? subreddit, the man wondered if he was wrong for asking to see the message thread between her and her coworker, and asking her to stop talking to him altogether.
A man has asked people online for advice after revealing he suspected his wife of 15 years was involved in an ’emotional affair’ with an ex-colleague
At the beginning of the post he said: ‘Happily married for 15 years with two children. Around midnight on Saturday night she was showing me some videos on her phone when she got a message notification. She quickly wiped it away, even though we both saw it.
‘I didn’t say anything, but decided to go to bed (already a bit annoyed with how she did it). I asked who texted her so late and was told “Idk (I don’t know)”. She said she had to see if anyone needed anything. Then she said to me, “It’s a coworker from my old job asking why I’m up so late.”
“She left that job four years ago. I didn’t say anything, I just turned around and thought for hours.’
He noted that he brought it up again the next day and she revealed that they spoke occasionally to congratulate each other on promotions.
However, he was still angry that his wife had lied to him when he first asked who it was.
“I emphasized that I was deeply hurt that I was lied to in such an open and obvious situation. And now I wonder if I would be going too far if I asked for the history of their conversations?’ he continued.
“I don’t think she physically cheated on me since she works from home and Life & Kids keeps both of our schedules pretty full. But I would be devastated if she had an emotional affair outside our marriage.”
At the end of the post, he wondered if he was an “asshole” for wanting her to stop messaging her ex-coworker and asked if she could see the entire conversation.
The anonymous father-of-two took to Reddit to share his sadness after seeing his wife quickly delete a message on her phone and lie about who it was from (stock image)
He said, “Would I be wrong to ask to see her conversation? I don’t need to see her entire phone. Only that one. And taking it one step further, WIBTAH (would I be the asshole) if I asked her to stop messaging this guy? I just think anyone who contacts a married person like that at 12:15 is just looking for trouble.
‘Help me reddit. The mind is going in a million directions and I’d like to A. learn the truth, or B. figure out how to fix this.”
He then shared another update saying that he confronted his wife one more time, and she broke down and revealed that she deleted the entire conversation thread.
“I’m not sure how to proceed from here. Confidence is currently at an all-time low,” he says.
People on the internet flooded the comments section and rushed to his defense.
One person said, “I don’t know the right answer to your exact question.
“I do know that if something like this happened and I knew my husband was concerned, I would have already offered any information that would put his mind at ease.”
Another user wrote: ‘She deleted the conversations because she knows you know. An innocent person would never do that.”
He then shared another update, saying that he confronted his wife one more time and she broke down, revealing that she deleted the entire conversation thread.
People on the internet flooded the comments section and rushed to his defense
“You’re not the asshole, but believe me when I say you don’t want to know. You already know what’s happening here. Don’t torture yourself with the details. Just walk away,” someone else said.
‘Unfortunately there is no right answer, but… Something inappropriate has happened. Whether it’s flirting, an emotional affair or even physical. Something has happened that she is ashamed of, clearly. Sorry OP, you’ll have to keep digging. I hope you don’t find much,” one person wrote.
A fifth person added: ‘If the message has been sent (original poster), it’s okay not to trust her. Honestly, I wouldn’t trust her again after this. She betrayed that trust.”
“She’s clearly hiding something NTA,” one said.
Another user wrote, “Just ask her to just block that guy because he clearly doesn’t respect your marriage if he texts her in the middle of the night. That should be easy. If you are resistant to that, I ask to see the messages.’