Elle Macpherson describes the depths of her alcoholism and her journey to sobriety in a powerful chapter of her memoir: elle: Life, lessons and learning to trust yourself.
While thinking about how to get clean, the 60-year-old Australian supermodel, who was dubbed ‘The Body’ at the age of 25, revealed that she regularly got drunk and started drinking ‘shots of vodka’ after meeting her sons Cy, 21, and Flynn Busson, 26, to bed.
“My life looked great to everyone. I was doing beautifully on the outside, but deep inside I was really struggling,” she wrote in her book.
Even after giving birth to her youngest child, the Sports Illustrated cover girl recalled being consumed with the desire to drink a bottle of champagne that had been gifted to her.
Despite being warned by her two naturopaths that drinking too soon after giving birth would disrupt her hormones, Macpherson admitted that when left alone with Cy in her arms, all she could think of was that bottle of champagne in the ice bucket think’.
To manage motherhood and her career, she turned to vodka to relax in the evenings, desperately trying to maintain her perfect public image.
Elle Macpherson has detailed the depths of her alcoholism and her journey to sobriety in a powerful chapter of her memoir, Elle: Life, Lessons & Learning to Trust Yourself; seen in July 2022
At the time, she was in a relationship with French financier Arpad ‘Arki’ Busson, who was often away on business during the week.
This put her in a difficult position because their son, Flynn, was “very sick and in and out of the hospital,” according to Page Six.
Despite considering going to rehab, she told Arki that she was doing well.
Even after contracting pneumonia after Cy’s birth, she quickly returned to work, trying to prove to Arki and herself that motherhood had not slowed her down.
“I loved spending time with Arki and… I wanted to prove to him that I would be his partner in fun and business, while being the mother of his sons,” she wrote. ‘I went out, drank, partied and got sick again. It became a constant repetition: I was in a terrible downward spiral.’
Macpherson also wrote about experiencing scary blackouts.
While thinking about how to get clean, the 60-year-old Australian supermodel revealed she regularly got drunk and started drinking ‘shots of vodka’ after putting her sons Cy, 21, and Flynn Busson, 26, to bed.
‘I was talking to someone and then I forgot what I said. They looked at me questioningly, as if waiting for me to continue,” she wrote.
Still, she continued to turn to alcohol as a way to cope with her anxiety.
‘I often drank after putting my children to bed. I sat down by myself and drank a shot of vodka, and then I wrote to-do lists and letters to my family. I would do housework, listen to music until about 11 p.m., then go to bed and pass out,” she explained.
She continued, “I got up in the morning, ran six miles and had coffee for breakfast…I had my fingers down my throat and made me throw up three times before I went to sleep. It was always three times.’
“My life looked great to everyone. On the outside I was doing a beautiful job, but deep inside I was really struggling,” she wrote in her book; seen in 2019
Despite struggling with her mental health and addiction, Macpherson recalled how people told her she was “so organised”.
‘I was really proud of that. I guess I had to be organized because I drank and I never wanted anyone to know,” the mother of two wrote. “So I made sure the house was clean and tidy; I made sure I looked fantastic and the kids were perfect.”
However, those closest to Macpherson began to suspect that something was wrong.
Her naturopaths were among the first to propose rehabilitation.
Macpherson also wrote about experiencing scary blackouts and what led her to go to rehab
The star was famously nicknamed ‘The Body’ at the age of 25 (pictured in 1990)
Before agreeing to rehab, she insisted on spending the summer in Ibiza with her family, against her therapist’s advice.
Although she managed not to drink for the first few weeks, things took a turn for the worse after she couldn’t join Arki and their friends on a night out at a trendy club.
After putting her kids to bed, she decided to open a bottle of vodka.
After a struggle to get it open, she knocked off the glass top.
“I hurriedly poured myself a shot that could have been littered with shards of glass. And I drank it,” she wrote. “I remember thinking, I love this feeling. I had missed it so much.’
Last year she celebrated twenty years of sobriety
At the time, her “youngest son was only six months old” and her “eldest was five and a half.”
Once she was in rehab in Arizona, Macpherson recalled feeling “humiliated and angry” when she was grouped with people who struggled with anorexia because of her thinness.
Ultimately, she said rehab was justified in putting her in that group because she realized she “had some control” over her diet.
While in rehab, she went by “Mac” to keep a low profile and worry about recognition.
Last year she celebrated twenty years of sobriety.
Macpherson pictured with her son Cy Busson in 2022
The model was seen with her son Flynn Busson in 2018
Macpherson previously stated that she has “never regretted” cutting alcohol from her life.
“I quit drinking in 2003 because I felt like I couldn’t be fully present in my life, and it was a wonderful springboard for getting to know myself on a deeper level,” she said Body and soul in 2023. “While it took discipline and perseverance, the bottom line is that you can’t be good and present in your life if you’re not present and good, and alcohol doesn’t really support that.”
She concluded, “It’s very difficult to get to know yourself when you numb yourself.”
Macpherson also emphasized that she does not preach sobriety to others and is “not interested in telling other people what to do with their lives.”