- In her latest column about Aunt Pain, bestselling author Jane Green offers advice to a woman whose father-in-law is behaving in a very inappropriate manner
- Do you have a question for Jane? Email dearjane@mailonline.com or ask below
- READ MORE: My best friend was hiding a dirty secret about her past
Dear Jane,
My father-in-law makes my life unbearably uncomfortable by hitting me whenever my husband leaves the room.
I’ve been married for about three months now. My husband was my high school sweetheart, so I’ve known his family for years and have always been close to his parents.
But they recently divorced and his father is having a midlife crisis, I think. He did the typical makeover, went to the gym, signed up for a bunch of dating apps and, in a pretty gross twist, started making really inappropriate comments to me every time I saw him.
It started innocently enough, I guess.
He asked me if I liked his new haircut, his new clothes, his new car, things like that.
Dear Jane, My father-in-law is going through a midlife crisis – and he won’t stop attacking me every time my husband leaves the room
But slowly he became much more intimate.
He has suggested that my husband has never been very good with women and that I would be much more ‘satisfied’ if I dated a more experienced member of the family, and he repeatedly makes comments about my body and tells me that my breasts look good in certain circumstances. outfits, and said he would never have divorced his wife if she had an “ass like mine.”
Usually I just try to shrug off the comments because I don’t want to cause a scene or upset my husband, but I’m at the stage now where I can’t bear to be alone in a room with him because of what I think. he might say.
International bestselling author Jane Green offers sage advice on DailyMail.com readers’ most burning issues in her column Dear Jane agony aunt
There’s only so much ‘joking’ I can do and I think I’ve reached my limit.
How can I get him to back off without causing drama with my husband’s family?
By,
Emergency in law
Dear sister-in-law,
Forgive me for what I’m about to say, but… ew. This is wildly inappropriate and wrong on so many levels. It makes me so angry, at every woman who has had to put up with these comments, as we put on a strained smile while pretending it doesn’t matter, while we feel sick to death about it.
Enough with deflecting the joke.
You may not want to cause drama, but as you discover, you can only pretend for so long, and the problem with not speaking up, with not telling someone that their behavior is inappropriate, is that by bottling it up we , ultimately hurting ourselves.
There doesn’t have to be any drama. But there has to be some courage.
The next time he says something, tell him it is inappropriate and unacceptable. You won’t tolerate his flirtatious behavior anymore. Be determined.
If your husband doesn’t know what’s going on yet, tell him before you tell your father-in-law. Your husband may want to join you in letting his father know that this behavior must stop.
Honestly, it might be awkward for a while. People who are used to getting away with bad behavior don’t like to be called out for it.
But that’s not your problem. However he behaves after you tell him to stop is his problem.
If it continues like this, I suggest pausing this relationship unless and until he can behave decently.
I wish you strength and courage.