Couples’ therapist reveals what NOT to do if you want a relationship to survive
Couples Therapist Who Has Been Married For 22 Years Reveals The ONE Thing You Should NEVER Do In A Relationship If You Want It To Survive
- Sinead Smyth, from California, has been married to her husband for 22 years
- The couple, who have two sons, are still going strong despite the pandemic burnout
- The therapist has now revealed how she keeps her relationship healthy
A relationship counselor has revealed the one thing you should never do in a relationship if you want it to survive.
Sinead Smyth, of Alameda, California, has been married for 22 years to her husband, a healthcare worker.
And the couple, who have two sons together, are still going strong despite both experiencing ‘burnout’ during the coronavirus pandemic.
The practitioner, who is a certified Gottman Institute therapist, has now revealed how she keeps her relationship healthy — while also revealing the most important thing to avoid in long-term romances.
A couples therapist has revealed the one thing you should never do in a relationship if you want it to survive (stock image)
Sinead Smyth, from Alameda, California, is a licensed Gottman Institute therapist who has been married to her healthcare husband for 22 years
Sinead, who works at the East Bay Relationship Center, said the one thing she would never do is speak up during an argument without a second thought.
She said Today. com: ‘It doesn’t end well in the heat of battle. So I usually check myself, give myself three seconds.
“Don’t shoot when you’re in conflict. Take a break, even if it’s just a few seconds, and decide whether it should be said or not and how you’re going to say it.”
The relationship expert said that if you take a moment to think about what you might say, you often realize there’s no need to share at all.
She said it’s important to remember that there will always be disagreements in a partnership, but how you handle them is key.
Sinead gave more advice to couples, saying there were other things that would also help maintain a long-term relationship.
First, Sinead said the biggest trick she and her husband employ is a “turn to it” policy.
This means that when one person makes an ‘offer for connection’ – whether in conversation or not – their partner leans in and gets fully involved.
Practicing this kind of openness in a relationship allows partners to grow closer and often allows couples to connect on a deeper level, she said.
Second, the therapist said not to underestimate the power of small acts of kindness.
She claimed that regular small acts were better than the occasional big gig, telling the publication, “That would be my conclusion that it’s about doing certain small, low-key things consistently.”
Sinead, who works at the East Bay Relationship Center, said the one thing she would never do is speak up during an argument without thinking for a second
Next on her list of relationship tips is making sure you notice and express gratitude for your partner.
Sinead said acknowledging and appreciating your significant other is crucial — in other words, if you notice they’re doing something right, let them know.
This will help maintain a positive perspective in the relationship and focus on what works.
Last – but certainly not least – is making time for weekly dates, no matter how long you’ve been together.
Sinead said she and her husband have been dating since their eldest son was just five months old.
She added, “We’re not talking about kids or logistics. We ask the big questions like, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
“We’re just really trying to stay with who the person is as a person rather than the logistics and chores and tasks.”