CHRISTOPHER STEVENS review’s the weekend’s TV: Gary Lineker lacks the charisma of a game show host

Sitting on a fortune

Judgement:

60 days on the estates

Judgement:

Here he is, ladies and gentlemen, the little man with the big ears, always on the ball, don’t let him steal your chips, he’ll get you all off a Twitter, it’s . . . he shoots he scores . . . Gary Lineker!

England striker turned sports presenter, self-proclaimed saint and political scourge, Goalhanger Gary is now a game show presenter, the host of Sitting on a Fortune (ITV1).

What makes him or anyone else think he has the flair for being a quiz master is anyone’s guess, but that’s how television works these days.

The days when masters of ceremonies like Leslie Crowther or Ted Rogers came through the clubs and performed end-of-the-pier revues are long gone – you don’t need talent, you just need to be recognizable.

On the football field and in the studio, Gary has always been a hard worker, but never a “great character.” That makes Sitting On A Fortune a boring, dutiful endeavour, depending on the participants for sparkle or charisma.

Gary represents six players lined up like rowers in a boat race. Whoever is in the front looks at the questions and is relegated to the back for a wrong answer. Whoever is in the back seat at the end of each round is eliminated.

The problem with the format, apart from the presenter, is that in the early stages, people can be sent home without ever getting a chance to answer a question correctly. This reduces a procedure to a game of chance.

Some players were happy to gamble. Anika, who twice claimed to be a former Miss Australia, announced that she would invest all profits in bitcoin.

It’s a good thing she didn’t win, actually, because she wouldn’t have much left after the cryptocurrency collapse.

Still, it’s a way to throw your money away, and at least it won’t make you fat like Gary’s potato chips.

The questions were boring brain teasers, with multiple choice answers. If you’re a regular TV quizzer, some of the categories weren’t hard to predict.

When a round of Carry On movies came up, contestant Jacqui immediately guessed that the question would be which actor appeared in the most movies in the franchise (the answer, she knew, isn’t Joan Sims, Barbara Windsor, or Sid James, but Kenneth Williams).

Gary trotted out scripted jokes. A repeated favorite was to take pretended offense at some comment. “What’s wrong with having white hair?” he cried. “What’s wrong with being born in the sixties?”

At least, I think he pretended, but he’s so touchy it was hard to tell.

He has no special knack for big prize quizzes, ITV’s beloved ‘shining floor’ shows. But he seems to be falling out of love with the BBC – and with Phillip Schofield unlikely to replace Jeremy Clarkson, should Gary be a contender to take over Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

Big cash prizes may seem like the direct answer to the problems Ed Stafford discovered 60 Days on the Estates (Chapter 4) while living with the impoverished residents of Haringey’s social housing blocks in north London.

But it’s not hard to guess what crack addict Phil would do with more money. He has already pawned most of his assets to pay his drug debts. More income would only make him more wasted.

The plight of single mom Dionne and her three sets of twins, their living room stacked with bunk beds and black mold on the walls, was more complicated.

Ed’s questions were sensitive, won Dionne’s trust and encouraged her to open up.

It is unbearable for children in Britain to live like this. But there doesn’t seem to be a right solution among the multiple choices.

Light Opera of the Week: DCI Barnaby (Neil Dudgeon) investigated am-dram crime in a production of The Pirates Of Penzance in Midsomer Murders (ITV1).

Meanwhile, Gilbert & Sullivan’s Yeoman Of The Guard was on BBC4. All very humane.