Celebrity Big Brother review: Will Kate’s rogue relative Uncle Gaz be spilling the royal beans? Frankly, it was hard to care, writes CLAUDIA CONNELL
Big sister Carole Middleton still failed to stage a last-minute intervention to prevent her troublesome brother from invading the Celebrity Big Brother house.
Gary Goldsmith, better known as ‘Uncle Gaz’, revealed that if his niece Catherine, Princess of Wales, was watching last night’s launch show it was probably ‘from behind the sofa’.
When he made his entrance by twerking, dancing and revealing himself as a “fun, entertaining wind-up,” she probably wasn’t the only one.
And while Gary isn’t exactly a star, he was certainly A-list when it came to the program’s mostly pathetic lineup.
Scratching your head and muttering “who?” when the celebrity casting for a reality TV show is announced is something most of us are used to.
Gary Goldsmith (pictured), better known as ‘Uncle Gaz’, revealed that if his niece Catherine, Princess of Wales, was watching last night’s launch show it was probably ‘from behind the sofa’.
Things started promisingly enough when wildly enthusiastic presenters AJ Odudu and Will Best got to work by naming a real celebrity, in the tiny puppet form of Sharon Osbourne (pictured)
From I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here to Dancing on Ice and Strictly, we expect to have to Google a name or two when faced with yet another crop of unknown influencers, DJs and weathermen.
However, when it comes to the (apparently) famous people taking part in Celebrity Big Brother 2024, all I can say is that Google must have taken a big hit.
Hoping to cash in on the success of Love Island, ITV bought the rights to Big Brother in 2022 and broadcast the civilian version for the first time last year.
However, this is the first celebrity in six years. And boy, wasn’t it worth the wait?
It started promisingly when the very enthusiastic presenters AJ Odudu and Will Best got to work on naming a real celebrity, in the little puppet form of Sharon Osbourne.
However, it was revealed that instead of being a housemate, Sharon will be a ‘renter’ who will only stay temporarily.
A bewildered-looking Louis Walsh (pictured) was next to arrive and went off script by admitting he already knew Sharon was in the house. You are supposed to react in surprise, Louis!
“What did she say her name was?” Sharon asked as 2022 Love Island winner Ekin-Su Culculoglu (pictured) arrived
Thank goodness producers gave the couple some invitation cards by the time former Ibiza rep David Potts (pictured) arrived – minus his trousers
Coronation Street star Colson Smith (pictured) is the latest soap star to move into the house, with sources tipping him to go ‘all the way’
Nikita Kuzmin (pictured), best known as a Strictly Come Dancing professional, has reportedly angered BBC bosses by moving into the CBB house
Theater star Marisha Wallace (pictured) is swapping the stage for the Celebrity Big Brother house, after roles in Broadway adaptations of Aladdin, Something Rotten and Dreamgirls
While the winner of regular Big Brother will bag herself a £100,000 prize fund, it’s also rumored that this amount will be part of Sharon’s daily allowance… which is exactly why ITV won’t be giving her the full three weeks to cling.
A bewildered-looking Louis Walsh was the next to arrive and went off script by admitting he already knew Sharon was in the house. You are supposed to react in surprise, Louis!
The two were promptly sent to a secret lair where they had to spy on the rest of the housemates to decide who they didn’t like and wanted to evict.
The only problem was that – like us – they had no idea who half of the participants were.
“What did she say her name was?” Sharon asked as 2022 Love Island winner Ekin-Su Culculoglu arrived.
“I don’t know who he is but he’s got big ears,” said Louis of Coronation Street star Colson Smith.
Thank goodness producers gave the pair some invitation cards by the time former Ibiza rep David Potts arrived – minus his trousers.
Levi Roots (pictured) is one of Dragon’s Den’s biggest success stories and has been a regular on TV cooking shows
Real Housewives of Cheshire star Lauren Simon (pictured) will swap one TV show for another as she moves into the CBB house
Bradley Riches (pictured), best known for his role in Heartstopper, and hopes an appearance on the show will help with representation
Finally, Fern Britton (pictured), looking like she’d rather be somewhere else, stepped in to save the day and restore the ‘celebrity’ good name
“His fruit and vegetables are hanging down,” a shocked Sharon noted.
A stream of musical theater stars, YouTube presenters and Real Housewives all followed, shouting, “You look beautiful!” “No babez, you look beautiful!”
Finally, Fern Britton, looking like she’d rather be somewhere else, stepped in to save the day and restore the good name of “celebrity.”
Fern admitted that she was nervous and that her children told her not to embarrass them by flashing her bits. Too bad none of David’s relatives thought to give the same advice.
Will Uncle Gaz reveal royal secrets? Will David find his pants? And will Louis and Sharon ever find out who one of them is?
Honestly, it was hard to care.