The internet is fiercely divided over the proper way to respond to someone saying “thank you.”
A series of American content creators have made videos explaining to foreigners why they don’t say “you’re welcome” when someone thanks them for a task, especially in customer service situations.
According to many, replying “you’re welcome” seems rude to many people, so they use alternative wording.
“It can feel a little passive-aggressive at times,” says TikTok user Arjuna explained in a video. “It has the implication of, ‘I know, you should thank me.'”
An Australian TikTok user said she was shocked by the way Americans responded to “thank you” in a now-deleted video
In response, some American creators explained that many people consider it rude to say “you’re welcome.”
Earlier this year, Australian YouTube and content creator Georgia McCudden posted a now-deleted clip reenacting an interaction she had with a server while visiting America.
In the clip, Georgia reveals that she said “thank you” in response to a restaurant employee giving her ketchup, to which the server replied, “Mmhmm.”
Georgia was stunned by a server’s response and took to TikTok to rant about her experience.
“I was like, ‘Excuse me,'” she said in the now-deleted clip. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know that was a big question.”
Her TikTok sparked a debate about expressing – and responding to – gratitude.
According to American makers, saying ‘you’re welcome’ in response to a thank you is rude, presumptuous and a bit outdated.
“It sounds like I’m forcing you to be grateful, or trying to give you a boost,” one creator stated in response to Georgia’s video.
Another the video stitched, Pronouncing the tone of the ‘mmhmm’ is essential to the message.
“She wasn’t trying to be rude at all, that’s just her way of saying ‘you’re welcome’ or ‘no problem’.”
Last year, an Australian TikTok creator wondered why Americans don’t say “you’re welcome” after someone thanks them
Online creator Yuval Ben-Hayun explained that neither is rude, and it’s normal to think that “the way we naturally speak is inherently more polite or efficient.”
Reactions on the topic became heated online, with people having strong opinions about the appropriate response
In the Arjuna clip, he told many Americans, the reaction feels “too strong of a sentiment, (and) a bit passive-aggressive.”
“It’s kind of got that mentality of, ‘oh yeah, we just did something big for you, so like you’re welcome here,’” he continued. “It has the implication of, ‘I know, you should thank me.’
In July, another creator, Yuval Ben-Hayun, sparked a similar conversation when he put together a video featuring Georgia.
He pointed out that vernacular terms vary from country to country – even in places where they both speak primarily English.
“We like to think that the way we naturally speak is inherently more polite, efficient, or smarter,” he said in the clip. “(These feelings) really all come from the need to justify the way we speak because it makes us feel a little better.”
He added: “The explanation for both is equally valid.”
Georgia isn’t the first person to survey Americans about their response to appreciation.
Last year Australian TikTok user Tilly Hokianga said she was also shocked by the “mmhmm” response she received from a server
“For example, I just said ‘thank you,’ or ‘you’re welcome,’ or ‘you’re fine,’ or ‘don’t worry,'” she said in disbelief.
Reactions on the topic became heated online, with people having strong opinions about the appropriate response.
“Older generations using ‘you’re welcome’ as a passive-aggressive way to remind us to say thank you permanently tainted it for all of us, I think,” one user suggested.
‘I always say, “No problem!” You’re Welcome feels passive-aggressive, but it’s also friendlier and more casual,” another added.
“I take ‘you’re welcome’ as an acknowledgment that I was bothered by what happened, but it’s OK. That feels aggressive,” was another opinion.
“I literally say you are welcome every day,” another admitted. “I do it occasionally, no problem.”
“You’re welcome SNOTTY,” one user stated. ‘I say, “No problem!”‘