DEAR JANE: My boss’s WIFE sent me the most passive aggressive email – and I have NO idea how to respond without getting fired

Dear Jane,

I just received one of those passive-aggressive emails from my boss’s wife and I’m completely at a loss as to how to respond.

To give you some background, I’ve been working as an executive assistant to a hedge fund manager for several months now and I’m enjoying my job so far. My boss is laid back, very friendly (in a non-creepy way), and has been great at helping me balance my work with my life at home with my two kids.

However, due to the nature of his work, he has to contact me quite often outside of normal working hours. I’m essentially running his life at this point, including making restaurant reservations, buying birthday gifts for his kids, and managing all of his travel.

He recently asked my help in organizing a surprise for his wife on the occasion of their 12th anniversary and of course I was happy to oblige! I like this kind of stuff.

He wanted to arrange a weekend away for both of them in a very nice hotel and asked me to take care of the booking and also talk to the staff to arrange some special surprises. Balloons in the room, champagne, roses, you get the idea.

I spent so much time talking to the hotel staff and arranging everything – but somewhere along the way there was a miscommunication, and when my boss and his wife arrived at the hotel, the note was placed with the champagne welcoming them. their room said my name instead of hers.

I was absolutely shocked when my boss sent me a photo of the note, but luckily he didn’t seem upset at all and told me not to worry, that mix-ups like this happen all the time.

International bestselling author Jane Green offers sage advice on DailyMail.com readers’ most burning issues in her column Dear Jane agony aunt

But today an email showed up in my inbox from his wife. I initially thought she might have accidentally sent something to me instead of her husband… then I opened it.

It read: ‘Thank you very much for all your help in organizing an unforgettable anniversary weekend. Your ‘special’ work for my husband and your attention outside office hours do not go unnoticed.’

Maybe I’m reading way too much into this, but I can’t help but feel like she’s sending me a message here. I got goosebumps as soon as I read it.

I don’t want to be rude and ignore her – but I also don’t want her to think I’m stupid, or worse, disrespectful, if I just answer like everything is nonsense?

What would you say?

By,

Suffering from overwork

Dear overwork pain,

I often advise people to write back with enormous clarity and ask what people meant. In this case, I don’t think you did anything wrong, nor do you really know what she meant by the word “special.”

Instead of engaging with your boss’s wife in a meaningful way, I would write back and say something along the lines of, “Thank you for those kind words. I’m glad (if more than a little embarrassed about the name mix-up) that everything turned out so well.

“Happy birthday again and let me know if I can help you with anything else.”

Clear, friendly and does not pick up on what she is or is not trying to portray.

Then let it go.

The bad behavior of others only becomes our business if we allow it, and at this point there is nothing meaningful to address.

Hover and ignore is my wisdom for today!