MAUREEN CALLAHAN: ‘Eviction’ is the biggest gift for Harry and Meghan – they love to play the victim

They’re down and out!

Fresh off their vicious ‘South Park’ taunts, the Duke and Duchess of Endless Grievance have been dealt a new humiliation: the public eviction from their UK home by King Charles.

Naturally, Harry and Meghan’s predictable reaction can be summed up in one word: Waaagh! (Credit to ‘South Park.’) Favorite spokesperson Omid Scobie did the honours.

“It all feels like a very final and cruel punishment,” Scobie said, reporting what “a friend of the couple,” ahem, had to say.

‘It is like [the family] I want to remove them from the image forever.

Okay, yes. Exactly. It was time.

It seems that Harry, now released into the real world, is still learning some home truths: namely, one’s actions tend to have consequences. You can’t write a memoir poisoned with all sorts of private information about your father and brother, get bitter revenge on your stepmother (Harry revealed that he and Prince William begged Charles not to marry Camilla) and undermine the monarchy. yourself while you make millions, then expect royalty to help you house!

Oh, and let’s not forget: Harry and Meghan renovated Frogmore Cottage, their wedding gift from the late Queen, for $3.2 million in taxpayer money (later refunded after public outrage). They then made fun of her other royal residence, Nottingham Cottage, in their recent Netflix docuseries, saying that Oprah was horrified by her visit. So small. So comfortable. Those low ceilings. How could they bear it?

Make no mistake: sharing that anecdote was ratifying it. Yet another complaint filed by Harry and Meghan, ever the victims of secondhand treatment, because…well, they weren’t saying the royals were racist, but they never missed an opportunity to hint, to raise an eyebrow, to allow a pause. followed by a shrug and a sad face.

Fresh off their vicious ‘South Park’ taunts, the Duke and Duchess of Endless Grievance have been dealt a new humiliation: the public eviction from their UK home by King Charles.

Within the walls of Frogmore, another betrayal took place: Harry and Meghan took pictures of their private moments, long before announcing their resignation from real life, and they ended up on Netflix. They flew out, demanding privacy in their new American life as they lashed out at Bob Iger, Ted Sarandos, Oprah, Apple TV+, and Penguin Random House.

So yes, Harry and Meghan: please go away.

King Charles’ apparent decision to evict, supposedly taken, we now know, a day after ‘Spare’ hit the shelves, is to listen to his people and speak for them. This eviction of Frogmore is symbolic of his biggest real-life eviction. How satisfying this must feel for the British public, who now rank Harry and Meghan slightly above the barely scandal-scarred Prince Andrew in popularity.

As if to underscore his anger, Charles has made it known which royal Frogmore is now destined for: none other than Andrew, whom Charles is sending into exile. Now that’s what you call making a statement.

It’s been a slow game, a long game, but the royals are playing it masterfully. From Silent Revenge at Jubilee, Harry and Meghan sitting not just in the second row, but squeezed in the middle, the equivalent of a flying coach, then their placement at the Queen’s funeral, Meghan’s face locked in from angles from the tv camera for a big candle and now the reports of this eviction: it must feel like death by a thousand paper cuts.

How satisfying. How gratifying. How well deserved.

Harry, once among the most beloved royals, successfully branded by the Palace as a patriot, a military man who loved serving in Afghanistan, the happy-go-lucky younger brother of the starchier Prince William and the Queen’s favourite, is He has revealed himself to be the complete opposite: petulant. , lazy, entitled, not very bright, emotionally limited, perpetually wronged and petty. Disgusting.

Who could forget that gratuitous passage in his memoirs, writing about his time as a young student who taunted a teacher for not only being unattractive but for a physical handicap? Who duplicated that by not expressing an iota of remorse or shame?

But then again, we should all listen to Harry, newfound feminist and self-proclaimed mental health thought leader.

Speaking of: have you heard of Harry’s latest scheme to steal money? It’s a live online chat about all the traumas of him. I can’t imagine he has anything new to say: how to get past stories of a frozen penis and sex next to a box of his dead mother’s hair? – but for the low price of $33.99, you can log into a live streaming chat and ask Harry your own questions this Saturday at noon Eastern.

Of course, there is a caveat: what, did you expect something simple here? Comments will be disabled and questions will not be answered live. Our prince will answer only pre-submitted and pre-approved inquiries.

What a terrible look for a royal. Charging Walmart fees to cynically exploit your private pain and your increasingly tenuous connections to royalty, who are making it abundantly clear that they want nothing to do with you.

It’s all so sordid. Harry can also grab a copper mug and go begging for dollar bills outside of Montecito’s ATMs. That’s how little reputation seems to matter to him, how little self-esteem he seems to possess.

As if to underscore his anger, Charles has made it known which royal Frogmore is now destined for: none other than Andrew, whom Charles is sending into exile. Now that’s what you call making a statement.

Within the walls of Frogmore, another betrayal took place: Harry and Meghan took pictures of their private moments, long before announcing their resignation from real life, and they ended up on Netflix.

Yesterday, when the news of the eviction rumor broke, Harry and Meghan stayed on the mark, stepping out to a fancy dinner in Los Angeles, where the paparazzi were sure to photograph their oh-so-casual entrance, that demented smile spread across Meghan’s face.

Look, everyone, they are happy! So happy! It’s never been better, in fact. Nothing can get them down, not even a national harpooning by our best satirists, not plummeting approval ratings (they’re in the negative in America and hovering just above Andrew in Britain), not their marginalization in the upcoming coronation, should they decide to attend. — for Camila’s children.

And certainly not a public eviction, never mind what her trusted spokesperson Scobie says, never mind the leak that two royals (Andrew’s daughters I assume) are “horrified.” It’s not a best-selling memoir, yet it has flopped and done serious damage to Harry, not estrangement from Oprah and other heavy hitters. The laughing stock, the laughing stock, it’s the same for Harry and Meghan.

After all, in their minds, King Charles has just handed them a greater gift than multi-million dollar real estate: more fodder for their ongoing victimization tour.