Get better at: Giving tough feedback
Today’s move
Ditch the compliment sandwich and try this three-step framework for… providing feedback.
First, praise something they do well.
Then, be direct about the problem you want to address.
Then provide a specific suggestion for improvement.
Why it works
Etiquette experts Daniel Post Senning and Lizzie Post said the classic compliment sandwich isn’t necessarily the most effective way to give feedback.
However, ending the conversation by offering a specific suggestion rather than a compliment helps them understand how they can improve and makes feedback constructive.
A 2022 study published by the American Psychological Association found that people appreciate honest feedback. The study included five feedback experiments with almost 2,000 participants. In all five experiments, the people who gave feedback consistently underestimated how much others wanted it.
Try it today
Take five minutes before you leave work to write down any feedback you haven’t discussed with anyone yet. Use the three-step framework to plan what you will say.
Make sure you end with a specific suggestion that they can use to improve.
The bottom line
People appreciate honest feedback and want to improve, but they need guidance, not just criticism.
Source
This advice comes from a 2025 Business Insider interview with etiquette experts Daniel Post Senning and Lizzie Post, who shared a three-step approach to giving constructive criticism. You can read the full story here.
This story also includes information from a study published by the American Psychological Association showing that people underestimate others’ desire for feedback. You can read more about that study here.
