10 ways of spotting a narcissist and how best to deal with them

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Narcissists had their ‘year in the sun’ in 2022, according to Politico magazine, which named Meghan Markle, Donald Trump, Kanye West, Elizabeth Holmes and Sam Bankman-Fried among some of the worst offenders of the last 12 months.

But how can we detect partners, friends or colleagues who have this self-centered personality style?

Dr. Greg Kushnick, a New York-based psychologist who does not endorse Politico’s views, revealed to DailyMail.com 10 traits that narcissists often display and the best ways to handle such characters.

From lack of empathy to concern for your own talents, read on for Dr. Kushnik’s narcissistic telltale signs…

Dr. Greg Kushnick, a New York-based psychologist, revealed to DailyMail.com 10 traits that narcissists often display and the best ways to handle such characters (file image)

1. Obsession with power and success

Many narcissistic people are obsessed with gaining power and success. It seems they will do anything to get ahead and have no qualms about hurting people in the process. They will usually try to control others for their personal gain. They may use unethical tactics to get what they want, by lying or taking shortcuts.

2. A need for admiration

Like peacocks, some narcissists strut around in an attempt to gain the admiration and attention of others and have an exaggerated sense of self-importance. They may demonstrate a variety of attention-seeking behaviors to get the attention they believe they deserve or need. It could involve everything from wearing expensive clothes to driving a flashy sports car. The attention helps hide their real fears of not being good enough or being undesirable. However, there are just as many covert narcissists as there are overt narcissists. Surprisingly, there are so many narcissists who are not in the public spotlight. They suffer behind closed doors.

Narcissists had their ‘year in the sun’ in 2022, Politico magazine said, with Meghan Markle (seen), Donald Trump, Kanye West and Elizabeth Holmes among the worst offenders.

HOW TO DEAL WITH A NARCISSIST

Dr. Greg Kushnick is a New York-based psychologist.

Dr. Kushnick serves three Suggestions on how to deal with a narcissist on both the personal and professional front:

know yourself

Learn what really matters to you: your values, interests, and opinions. This will allow you to realize when a narcissist is questioning your reality or trying to make you doubt yourself. More importantly, know your worth so it can’t be questioned. Therapy is a great way to achieve greater self-awareness and learn what really matters to you.

learn your limits

Know your limits and learn to recognize when your limits are being ignored or challenged. Decide what you are willing to do and what is considered unacceptable. Knowing your boundaries allows you to stay true to your boundaries and not feel guilty or doubt yourself when a narcissist takes advantage of you or pushes things to an uncomfortable place.

don’t share feelings

Avoid sharing your feelings with a narcissist. They will see that as a weakness and ignore the point you are trying to make. Talk from a place of choice. Instead of saying, ‘I feel hurt and sad that you keep putting me down, so I have to protect myself and back off,’ remove the feeling. Instead, he declares: ‘I choose to distance myself from you. It’s not working for me.’

3. Instilling self-doubt

Narcissistic individuals tend to use doubt as a weapon. They will question or criticize you to make you doubt yourself, which gives them power over you. The most important thing they do is play on your insecurities and weaknesses. They’ll take note of things you bring up, whether it’s an insecurity about your weight or your performance at work, and play on it at a later date to put you down.

4. Lack of empathy

Narcissistic people lack empathy for others and have trouble connecting with other people’s situations. It really is the case of just not caring, especially if someone’s thoughts or feelings don’t match yours. This can be frightening to witness, as they will refuse to understand, listen, or be there to support the other party.

5. It’s about them

If you share a story or comment about a narcissist, he will do his best to make it all about himself. This self-referential behavior is another form of control and attention seeking. It can be very exhausting, as it is almost impossible to say a word once they have taken control of the conversation.

6. A habit of gaslighting

If you get to know a narcissist well, especially in the context of a romantic relationship, they may become accustomed to cheating on you, which involves intimidating you into questioning your own reality and wondering if you are losing your sanity. This is accomplished by constantly challenging his version of the truth, distorting the facts, and creating a false narrative.

7. A sense of entitlement

People with narcissistic traits believe they deserve special treatment and are concerned about their own talents, which they tend to over-celebrate. They have a strong belief in themselves that they are more important and better than others. This can be intimidating.

8. They are always right

Narcissistic people love to make others wrong. They like to be right. They freely judge others, especially when they feel challenged or outmatched. If you are in a relationship with this person, it can make you feel bad about yourself and affect your self-image, since you will feel like you are always wrong.

9. They are experts in ‘falsifying the future’

In relationships, narcissists often engage in faking the future. They promise you the world after knowing them for a short time. They convince you that they will travel the world together or some other amazing promise, but eventually you drop the microphone. They suddenly leave when you were naming your children with them. In other words, they say what they need to say to get you hooked on them and the relationship, but it doesn’t end well.

10. Everything is take, take, take

If you are a coworker, friend, or lover of a narcissist, you will find that you are constantly catering to their needs with limited or no reciprocity. Therefore, being in a relationship with a narcissist can be a particularly thankless task. You can offer them emotional support or shower them with gifts, but don’t expect anything in return. The narcissist will drink, drink, drink without stopping to say thank you.

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