Yes, older women dating younger men is all the rage. But what my friend did to a man 15 years her junior was so shocking I’ll never speak to her again: JANA HOCKING

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, I think we can all agree that MILFs are having a moment right now.

Ever since Stifler’s mom made us realize she’s “got it going,” the idea of ​​older women locking lips with younger men hasn’t been so trendy anymore.

From Nicole Kidman dry-fucking Zac Efron in A Family Affair and asking her younger intern to “dumb” her in Babygirl, to Anne Hathaway going full cougar in The Idea of ​​You: the trope of older women dating Younger men flirting is undeniably in vogue. .

Women everywhere are lowering the age filters on their dating apps and diving headlong into mischief with baby-faced boys.

But let’s be realistic for a moment: this phase? Not for me. No. Never.

If I’m completely honest, it always gives me the creeps.

Dating men in their 20s when I was 20 was lesson enough. Spoiler alert: they have no idea. No offense, but they’re fumbling through life, still sorting out the laundry, surviving on Lynx Africa and saving pennies for ‘boys’ trips’ to Bali. As they should be.

If he can’t grow a full beard, he’s too young for you, Mom.

Still, I understand that this trend seems glamorous, especially for women regaining their youth (usually after a divorce). But is it worth it?

I’ve seen the other side of these things: the young men who gave up their wild “boys, boys, boys” years, shackled by obligations they weren’t ready for, and the older women who hoped these boys would take on the role of adults can play. partners. It seems disturbingly unfair.

Controversial opinion, but do these women ever think they are taking away some of the best years from these men’s lives?

This hit me a few months ago when a new friend told me about an ex-boyfriend who was 15 years younger than her. In the beginning everything was exciting. He loved the excitement of dating someone older, and she basked in the attention of a handsome, younger man.

But as time went on, things got messy. He started skipping boys’ outings because “they wouldn’t like it.” She wanted a commitment while he was still figuring out what he wanted from life – and then she got pregnant. Sigh.

He panicked because he wasn’t ready for that kind of responsibility, and she panicked because she thought this might be her last chance to have a child.

She decided to have it. They broke up. And he spent most of his twenties paying child support because the stupid man forgot to wear a condom.

Instead of saving for a house, he paid for an oopsie daisy. And before you come for me: yes, children are a blessing, but this felt like cheating.

It ultimately ended our friendship. Maybe it’s because I have brothers and couldn’t bear the thought of this happening to them, or maybe it was the overwhelming sadness I felt for this man, whose life was turned upside down by one careless mistake. I realized I couldn’t see her in the same light anymore. She wanted a baby, found a questionable way to have one, and didn’t care about the consequences. That’s not someone I could stay friends with.

Listen, I’m not immune to this kind of thing. When I was 25, I dated a 45-year-old man. Looking back, it was a brief reprieve from the bullshit that comes with dating in your twenties. He was respectful, kind and, let’s face it, happy to be dating a young blonde.

But that was all: a reprieve. It quickly dawned on me that the age difference was just too, well, too big. It wasn’t long before he took on a parental, mentoring role that created an imbalance. I remember shouting, ‘Stop bossing me around! You’re not my father!’ Well, that was the end.

Your twenties are for growing, learning, and making mistakes with people your own age. No leaving parties before 11pm for an ‘early evening’ (which has indeed happened more than once).

And don’t even get me started on Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Sam Taylor-Johnson. When they met, he was a fresh-faced 18-year-old boy starring in Nowhere Boy, and she was the 42-year-old director in charge.

Yes, you read that right, an age difference of 23 years. Of course the tabloids were having a good day and who could blame them?

Let’s face it: they’ve been married for over a decade, have two children and seem genuinely happy. Love is love and all that jazz. But let’s not ignore the elephant in the room: he was barely old enough to vote when they started dating!

Meanwhile, she’d already done the whole “mortgage, career, kids” thing. What did he know about that? And why would he at 18?

As the sister of two brothers, I would have been shocked if that had been one of my siblings. While we were tasting our first Midori lemonades and teasing strangers in dodgy nightclubs, he was changing diapers and dealing with toddler tantrums. No. Too young.

Aaron has admitted that he had to grow up fast. While his friends were drinking beer and planning trips to Ibiza, he was learning how to pack school lunches at home. Romantic? Certainly. Recognizable? Not so much.

And Sam? Well, if you’re dating someone young enough to still be figuring out how to separate the white from the dark in the wash, you have to wonder: Does it ever start to feel like you’re raising your partner? ? I just can’t imagine what an 18 year old would talk about to a 42 year old.

Their relationship is presented as the textbook example of “age gap relationships that work,” but let’s be honest: it’s the exception, not the rule.

For every Aaron and Sam who pull it off, there are a hundred younger men who wake up one day and think, “Wait, when did I stop living my life and start playing stay-at-home dad?”

And that’s the point. When one partner is in a completely different stage of life, someone always makes more compromises. Maybe it’s the younger man who skips his carefree twenties to settle down. Maybe it’s the older woman holding the reins and wondering when she signed up to be both a friend and a life coach.

Before we glorify these relationships as aspirational, let’s take a step back and put on our thinking hats.

Age gap romances may look glamorous in Hollywood with their fancy makeup artists, nannies, plastic surgeons and expensive personal trainers, but in real life they often come with emotional costs and missed milestones.

Love may be love, but for most of us, love works best when you grow together, not in different eras.

Let’s leave the imagination to the big screen and enjoy our own chapters as they were meant to be lived.