Woman who FLED Amish upbringing reveals what it’s like to DATE in ultra-strict community – and lifts the lid on courting ritual called ‘BUNDLING’ that couples perform because they can’t have pre-marital sex
A woman who ran away from her incredibly strict Amish community as a teenager has opened up about what it was like to date while still living under its strict rules – and what men and women did in bed together to avoid premarital sex.
Lizzie Ens36, from Ohio, fled the Amish lifestyle when she was 19 years old and hasn't looked back.
The former Amish member turned nutrition coach now shares fascinating insights into her childhood with her more than 172,000 followers.
And in a recent video, Lizzie explained how teens date in the Amish community and described the courtship they do in bed known as “bundling.”
Lizzie Ens, 36, from Ohio, runaway from the Amish community, has revealed what dating in the Amish world was like
She fled the Amish lifestyle when she was 19 years old and never looked back
And in a recent video, Lizzie explained how teens date in the Amish community and described the strange practice they did in bed known as “bundling.”
In a viral clip that has been viewed more than 1.2 million times to date, Lizzie shared the very specific age at which Amish people started dating.
She said, “How was dating? This is something that always trips people up. Because where I come from, the Swartzentruber Amish, dating is very different.”
Lizzie then advised viewers to “prepare” before diving into the Amish dating world.
She started by explaining that dates only took place on Saturday evenings, while there was no church service the next day.
The ex-Amish member added, “We started dating around age 16 and a half — not 16, 16 and a half.”
The ex-Amish member noted that they were only allowed to date at night, adding, “They are not allowed to be seen in public.”
Using herself as an example, Lizzie explained that she was going to bed and three or four men would show up at her house around midnight.
Of the teens who showed up, one of them wanted to go out with her.
'This man never comes alone. It's always with a group of other guys,” she added.
The teen who wanted to date Lizzie waited outside her room while the other three boys entered her room.
The first shocking aspect of the dating world is that couples only see each other once every two weeks
She started by explaining that dates only took place on Saturday evenings, while there was no church service the next day
“Three of them come upstairs to my room – not the guy who wants to date me – just the other three and they ask me, 'Do you want to go on a date with this guy?' I can say yes or I can say no,” she said.
Lizzie noted that if she said “no,” the teens would try to convince her to change her mind.
When she says yes, all four men enter Lizzie's room.
After hanging out in Lizzie's room for about an 'hour', the three guys who weren't there to date her leave – while she and the teen who wanted to be with her continued to spend time together.
“So now it's just him and me in the room. What do we do next? Well, there's not supposed to be any kind of sex before marriage, nothing like that. It is strictly prohibited,” she said.
Instead, the teens do something known as “bundling.”
'Bundling is when you're lying on the bed, and if it's a good conversation, the guy takes the lead and he's supposed to put his arms around you and hug you. Bundling is like rolling around,” she explained.
“So then you roll around as long as you want and then he might kiss you on the cheek, or if he really likes you, he might kiss you on the lips.
Using herself in the example, Lizzie explained that she was going to bed and three or four men would show up at her house around midnight.
The other men would leave, and Lizzie and the man who wanted to go out with her would stay up, talking and cuddling
Then the potential lovers will start talking again. If the conversation is boring, they both go to sleep and the boy leaves around three or four in the morning.
If they both have a good time, the guy will ask for another date before leaving.
The ex-Amish member added, “If he comes back and they have three dates – which has to happen every two weeks, you can't see each other more than every two weeks – he can ask her if she wants to. be his girlfriend and then they will be considered a couple.”
Lizzie explained that you can still only see each other every two weeks during a relationship.
'That's dating and eventually, if you continue, if you're in a relationship, you're not allowed to see each other in public anymore, like you're not allowed to go to church together, you're not allowed to ride in a buggy together when it's daylight, you could only being seen at night or being alone together,” she said.
When the couple wants to tie the knot, the man asks the woman to marry him and shortly after bending down on one knee, they get married.
She explained that there were no “pre-arranged marriages” in the community and people were allowed to choose their partners.
Lizzie grew up in a Swartzentruber Amish community, known as the most conservative branch.
She explained that the bundling involved them hugging and rolling around while fully clothed
Members of the Swartzentruber Amish community avoid indoor pipes, milk machines and telephone booths in the community.
They also refuse to adapt to daylight saving time, rely on buggy transport and use only wood ovens for cooking and heating, while windmills and old-fashioned hand pumps are used to secure water.
Women should wear dresses that reach the edge of their shoes.
In the past, Lizzie said they were allowed to date, but only saw their partner once every two weeks and could never be seen together in public.
She noted that on traditional dates, the couple would cuddle for hours.
Lizzie initially tried to escape the Amish world when she was 17 years old with her twin sister, but they both returned soon after.
People flooded the comments expressing their shock, with one saying: 'This is absolutely wild'
Two years later, at the age of 19, Lizzie left for good, just before her sister's wedding, which she was no longer allowed to attend after leaving the community.
People flooded the comments and expressed their shock.
One person said: 'At no point did I know where this was going. Fascinating as always! Thanks for sharing.'
Another user commented: 'This sounds like a made-up folktale because it's so wild.'
“This is absolutely wild lol,” someone else wrote.
A fourth person added: “That actually surprised me!”