A mother is wondering if she is wrong for telling her daughter to change her wedding date after booking her nuptials on the two-year anniversary of a horrific car crash that killed three family members.
The unnamed mother, believed to be from the US, took to Reddit to explain the latest feud between her and her 25-year-old daughter, Betty, who is soon tying the knot with her fiancé.
She explained that despite her better judgment, Betty decided to arrange her wedding on the two-year anniversary of a fatal car accident that killed the bride-to-be’s grandmother, uncle and cousin.
After Betty received a flood of messages from family members who rejected her wedding invitations, she turned her anger on her mother for not ordering them to attend.
Now, in a thread titled, ‘Am I the hole?’ the mother wondered if it was her fault for siding with her family and telling her daughter to move her wedding date.
A mother is wondering if she is wrong for telling her daughter to change her wedding date after booking her wedding on the two-year anniversary of a horrific car crash that killed three family members (stock image)
‘Two years ago my brother, my cousin and my mother were in a car accident. My mother died instantly, my brother and cousin died the next day.
‘My family was small: me, my husband, daughter, parents, brother, wife and two nephews. Their loss was devastating to my life and to everyone, and even more devastating to my father and my sister-in-law.
‘A year ago my daughter, Betty, 25, was proposed to by her fiancé and the preparations began.
“During this process, they chose the date based on the day they met – seven years ago – and that day is exactly two years after the deaths of my brother and cousin.
‘I tried to talk to her about moving as it is still a very difficult date for our family and even for myself, but she kept insisting that the venue had that date available and it would be perfect as all the other dates available It’s not that good and wouldn’t be that important. I respected her decision,” she explained.
Betty decided to go against her mother’s advice and sent her invitations anyway.
However, when her cousin, sister-in-law and her grandfather received the invitations, they declined, saying the date was “offensive.”
The mother added: “I decided to remain neutral. At one point I confirmed the presence of me and my husband.
‘Today my daughter called me unhappy that no one but us confirmed it (my husband has no family on his side) and her family area was empty and she expected everyone to go on that date especially after she explained the reason about the date , but they still refused.’
The unnamed mother, believed to be from the US, took to Reddit to explain the latest feud between her and her 25-year-old daughter Betty, who will soon tie the knot with her fiancé.
And while she tried to support her daughter, she also explained that her choices had “consequences.”
She said: ‘She blew up at me and said everyone was against her, it’s not her fault the dates coincided and everyone could make the effort to go for a few hours for her but they just decided not to go and I basically said : ‘I told you so.’ .”
“She hung up on me without me answering and we still haven’t spoken. My husband said he understands me, but I should have stayed away from it.’
At the end of the post, she wondered if she was an “a**hole.”
People on the internet flooded the comments section and ran to her defense.
One person said: ‘Not the hole. I mean, you told her exactly why this would happen and she didn’t listen. I think she was more angry with you than with you, if that makes sense. She vents.
“But it’s also a bit thoughtless to think that everyone would just swallow their sorrow if they saw her get married on a very painful anniversary.”
Someone else added: ‘She never said it like that. If she said she wanted the lost to be part of her day or something thoughtful, they might have responded.
“Her position is that she met her husband on that day seven years ago and told everyone else to put their pain aside. She learns the costs of being self-centered.”
People on the internet flooded the comments section and ran to her defense
‘Yes. Daughter has made her choice. She can choose the date she wants. Her family can choose whether to go,” one person said.
Another user added: ‘She literally wants to celebrate her love and marry the love of her life on the day her family lost the loves of their lives.
“I don’t understand how she doesn’t see how incredibly hurtful and insensitive that is, and I’m even more shocked that she actually expected them to show up.”
‘Exactly, NTA all the way. She was warned and decided to continue anyway. She was free to choose the date she wanted, but it was callous to expect the family to show up at her big party and forget what date it was.
“Did she really think her cousin would forget that he had lost his father, brother and grandmother on this date a few years ago? That makes her TA.”
Someone else said: ‘NTA. As someone who picked the date, she’s pretty much ‘to blame’ for the dates ‘coinciding’.”
Another person said, “NTA, it’s her fault. She can change her wedding date; As much as everyone would like to, they cannot change the date of death.”
One user added: ‘NTA Holy man, that was mind-bogglingly insensitive of her. How could she? You are a saint if you don’t say no yourself.’