A woman has sparked heated debate after revealing she only wanted to take her biological child to Disney, insisting her boyfriend could pay for her stepchildren.
The unnamed mother, from the US, took to Reddit’s popular Am I The A**hole thread to candidly describe her dilemma.
The 31-year-old explained how she found herself in quite a difficult situation due to her partner’s unstable financial situation.
Readers were bitterly divided in their responses, but what do you think?
The unnamed mother, from the US, took to Reddit’s popular Am I The A**hole thread to candidly describe her dilemma
The mother began by explaining that she shares a two-year-old daughter with her boyfriend, but he has two other children, ages nine and eight, from a previous relationship.
She wrote: ‘I’m the breadwinner because he can’t keep the good jobs.
“A few months ago we lost our rent due to his lack of financial responsibility. (I didn’t know he wasn’t paying certain bills, so it became too much for me to pay for everything and catch up.)
‘For the past few months we have been living with his parents and our goal was to pay off our debts. Well, I’ve cleared almost $10,000 in debt, while he’s only been able to pay off $500.
“I give him grace knowing he doesn’t make much money, but I know he has no payments other than his phone and childcare. Therefore, paying a little extra for the debts should not be a problem.’
The irritated woman continued, “Anyway, this summer I really wanted to take a trip to Disneyland. I told him we were going as a whole, he agreed.
‘As it’s getting closer, he’s now saying we don’t have to go, it’s getting too hot and too crowded. “The little ones won’t remember, the older kids don’t like Disney as much anymore,” which he tends to use these types of tactics when he realizes he can’t do it financially.
‘I have no problem doing 50/50, but he won’t meet me halfway there. He’d rather no one go.’
The 31-year-old explained how she found herself in a difficult situation due to her partner’s unstable financial situation (stock image)
Seeking advice from readers, she concluded, “So my question is, would I be the asshole if I decided to make it a trip with just my biological child and me? And he pays for himself if he can afford it?
‘I hate this situation, but I firmly believe that I should not let my child lose experiences if others are not willing to do so for him. That’s why I work so hard, so she doesn’t miss anything and has everything she wants and needs.”
And the Reddit post was quickly flooded with comments, leaving readers bitterly divided.
On the one hand, there were many users who claimed that the woman was indeed wrong.
One person wrote: ‘Let me get this straight: you, your underachieving boyfriend and three kids live with his parents and you think going to Disney is a smart choice? YTA.
“Take the Disney money and put a down payment on an apartment for you and your daughter.”
A second person commented: ‘YTA. It would be 100 percent fine to take just your biological child with you if you are separated from your boyfriend.
“However, you cannot date, live with and have a baby with a man with two children and then treat the children unequally. That will only breed resentment, which will make your life harder in the long run.”
On the one hand, there were many users who claimed that the woman was indeed wrong
Another wrote: ‘YTA. Your daughter needs a home. She’s not even old enough to know if she WANTS a trip to Disneyland.
‘Take the money you would spend on a holiday and start looking for a place to live, preferably without your financially unstable friend.’
Someone else served: ‘YTA. You are a family unit. If your friend doesn’t do his part for the family financially, you don’t punish the children. And to add, why go to Disney if you have financial and housing problems?!”
But on the other hand, there were those who argued that she was wrong as such person commented: ‘NTA: Oh honey. It’s been two years. He’s not going to change.
‘I understand that you want to be with him and that it is not unreasonable to want to live apart.
‘But keep firm boundaries and don’t give him a key. If you have paid off your debts and can afford your own home, deposit/bills for the first three months of your savings, I say go on vacation.
The mother began by explaining that she shares a two-year-old daughter with her boyfriend, but he has two other children, aged nine and eight, from a previous relationship (stock image)
But on the other hand, there were those who claimed she was wrong, as one person commented: ‘NTA: Oh honey. It’s been two years. He’s not going to change
‘Spoil yourself, but as others have said, your baby won’t really remember it, so don’t go into debt again for nothing.
‘Photos are priceless, but I’m afraid he’ll get upset and do something to ruin those memories. Please focus on yourself and what is best for you and your baby.”
A second person added: “NTA. He. Is. A hobo. Dump him and go to someone who will be an equal partner, not a leech.”
Another wrote: ‘NTA. It doesn’t sound like your partner is bringing anything. Save your money to move you and your child. This is one of those situations where you could do better yourself.
“He will never grow up between you and his mother, who has to save him because of his lack of effort. It’s comfortable. You’re wasting your years.
“It sounds like you’re starting to hate him. This only gets worse the more you have to forgo things you want because you have to cover his a** financially.”
One person added: ‘NTA to take your own kid to Disney without the bonus kids as long as you take her without them knowing and honestly I’d leave the boyfriend the hell at home. He has to get smarter.
“Why you tolerate his financial instability is beyond me, considering he literally made you and your child homeless.”