Woman sparks contentious debate over whether life and dating is easier for attractive people

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Do YOU benefit from ‘pretty privilege’? ‘Average’ woman sparks debate after bemoaning how difficult it is to find love – but others insist being attractive leads to harassment, friendship issues and being underestimated

  • Anonymous woman sparked discussion whether life is easier if you’re beautiful
  • The UK-based poster took to parenting forum Mumsnet to garner opinions
  • Many believed life is easier if you’re attractive, saying ‘pretty privilege’ exists
  • But some said that beauty comes with its own problems – and in any case, fades 

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A woman has sparked an online debate about ‘pretty privilege’ after asking whether attractive women know their ‘ugly’ counterparts are treated differently.

The anonymous woman took to UK-based parenting forum Mumsnet to garner different opinions on the topic after her conventionally beautiful friend insisted any woman could go into a bar and be chatted up by a man. 

The poster insisted this is an example of ‘pretty privilege’ because it is something only experienced by attractive people. 

A number of people responded to say there are clear examples of pretty privilege, from ‘easier’ job interviews to finding partners online.  

However, others felt that good looks come with their own problems, including a lot of unwanted attention, with one person describing beauty as a ‘poisoned chalice’.

Mumsnet users have debated whether beautiful women are treated differently to others - and whether 'pretty privilege' is an advantage or a burden (stock image)

Mumsnet users have debated whether beautiful women are treated differently to others – and whether ‘pretty privilege’ is an advantage or a burden (stock image)

An anonymous woman posted on Mumsnet, asking people whether beautiful women realise their 'ugly' counterparts are treated differently

An anonymous woman posted on Mumsnet, asking people whether beautiful women realise their 'ugly' counterparts are treated differently

An anonymous woman posted on Mumsnet, asking people whether beautiful women realise their ‘ugly’ counterparts are treated differently

The original post said: ‘My friend (who is very beautiful) got into a relationship not so long ago and said how she hopes I’ll be soon in one too – she knows I’d like a relationship also. 

‘Well, few days ago she was telling me to just go to a bar and get chatted up with men, it won’t be long etc. and I’d just had to laugh, and asked her does she remember any man to ever have done that before and why would is suddenly have changed.

‘I think I accidentally made things awkward because she went really quiet. She pretty much can go anywhere and men will start up conversation or get asked out.

‘And this made me think if she genuinely thought we all have the same opportunities?’

1660547469 247 Woman sparks contentious debate over whether life and dating is

1660547469 247 Woman sparks contentious debate over whether life and dating is

1660547469 413 Woman sparks contentious debate over whether life and dating is

1660547469 413 Woman sparks contentious debate over whether life and dating is

Many people who answered the poster's question agreed that the beautiful people who benefit from 'pretty privilege' usually do not realise they are treated differently from everyone else

Many people who answered the poster's question agreed that the beautiful people who benefit from 'pretty privilege' usually do not realise they are treated differently from everyone else

Many people who answered the poster’s question agreed that the beautiful people who benefit from ‘pretty privilege’ usually do not realise they are treated differently from everyone else

A huge number of respondents agreed that both life and meeting a romantic partner are easier for beautiful people – and that these people generally don’t realise they are benefiting from ‘pretty privilege’.

One wrote: ‘It’s been scientifically proven that more attractive people get more privileges in life. More likely to get a job after an interview, people being nicer, holding doors etc.

‘However if pretty people have only ever known life through their eyes they might not see it.’

1660547469 367 Woman sparks contentious debate over whether life and dating is

1660547469 367 Woman sparks contentious debate over whether life and dating is

1660547469 134 Woman sparks contentious debate over whether life and dating is

1660547469 134 Woman sparks contentious debate over whether life and dating is

1660547469 587 Woman sparks contentious debate over whether life and dating is

1660547469 587 Woman sparks contentious debate over whether life and dating is

1660547469 721 Woman sparks contentious debate over whether life and dating is

1660547469 721 Woman sparks contentious debate over whether life and dating is

Some posters shared the downside of 'pretty privilege', including struggling to make friends and being the victim of harassment from men

Some posters shared the downside of 'pretty privilege', including struggling to make friends and being the victim of harassment from men

Some posters shared the downside of ‘pretty privilege’, including struggling to make friends and being the victim of harassment from men 

Another added: ‘No, she won’t have automatically realised. Especially if she doesn’t consider herself to be beautiful, she would just assume how she is treated is how most women similar to her age are treated.’ 

A further person revealed she had been the recipient of ‘pretty privilege’ when she was younger – and had not realised at the time.

She wrote: ‘No they don’t. I did not realise how much pretty and thin privileged I had until I lost it.’

1660547469 142 Woman sparks contentious debate over whether life and dating is

1660547469 142 Woman sparks contentious debate over whether life and dating is

1660547470 422 Woman sparks contentious debate over whether life and dating is

1660547470 422 Woman sparks contentious debate over whether life and dating is

Many respondents argued that being beautiful is likely not all it's cracked up to be, and attractiveness comes with baggage. One even described beauty as a 'poisoned chalice'

Many respondents argued that being beautiful is likely not all it's cracked up to be, and attractiveness comes with baggage. One even described beauty as a 'poisoned chalice'

Many respondents argued that being beautiful is likely not all it’s cracked up to be, and attractiveness comes with baggage. One even described beauty as a ‘poisoned chalice’

A number of posters cited the difficulties faced by beautiful women, by sharing their own experiences or observations.

One revealed: ‘Pretty privilege doesn’t come without a much higher amount of unwanted male behaviour. Pretty women are often seen as a sexual commodity (“I’d do her”https://www.dailymail.co.uk/”she’s a 10”) and not taken seriously in more corporate environments.

‘For that reason I’d hardly call it privilege. But then we only tend see the positives of the things we are envious of.’  

Another added: ‘Honestly, I think it balances out. Attractive young women get underestimated a lot, harassed a lot and not seen for themselves, just prized for their appearance.

‘Misogyny gets you one way or the other as a younger woman. It all starts to even out with age. I think a lot of good looking women actually welcome becoming slightly less “visible”.’ 

1660547470 846 Woman sparks contentious debate over whether life and dating is

1660547470 846 Woman sparks contentious debate over whether life and dating is

1660547470 266 Woman sparks contentious debate over whether life and dating is

1660547470 266 Woman sparks contentious debate over whether life and dating is

1660547470 24 Woman sparks contentious debate over whether life and dating is

1660547470 24 Woman sparks contentious debate over whether life and dating is

Many suggested that in dating (and life in general) character and personality are more important than looks - with one making the sage point that 'your worth is not how you look'

Many suggested that in dating (and life in general) character and personality are more important than looks - with one making the sage point that 'your worth is not how you look'

Many suggested that in dating (and life in general) character and personality are more important than looks – with one making the sage point that ‘your worth is not how you look’