Woman reveals she felt 'dirty and dirty' when diagnosed with herpes at 19 – but now speaks out to break stigma after being raised by conservative Christian parents who didn't want her to know anything about sex
A woman has revealed how she felt 'dirty and dirty' when she was diagnosed with herpes at the age of 19, but now she is speaking out to break the stigma.
Lana Linge, from Vancouver, Washington, was raised by conservative Christian parents who didn't want her to learn about sex.
She hid her STD diagnosis for almost a decade, fearing the stigma it might bring to her family and friends.
But the now 28-year-old recently decided to do just that breaking away from secrecy by openly discussing her herpes diagnosis and subsequent health journey on social media.
Lana Linge, from Vancouver, Washington, was raised by conservative Christian parents who didn't want her to learn about sex
Speaking about her diagnosis, Lana said: 'I woke up one morning with a breakout on my genitals. My first outbreak was quite bad as I had multiple sores.”
Lana admitted that deep down she knew what the sores were, but made an appointment with the doctor, hoping she was wrong.
But it was confirmed that she had herpes that same day.
'I got herpes from a man I trusted. I had asked him if he had been tested for STDs and he said he had, but I never verified the test results.
'The moment I received my herpes diagnosis was nothing short of devastating. There was a Lana before I got herpes and a Lana after.
'It felt like my whole world stood still. I knew things would never be the same again.'
Lana grew up in a conservative Christian household with minimal sex education and her understanding of sexual safety was severely limited.
'I was taken out of Sex Ed at school because my parents didn't want me to learn about sex. In my late teens I didn't think about using contraceptives.'
She hid her STD diagnosis for almost a decade, fearing the stigma it might bring to her family and friends
But the now 28-year-old recently decided to break the secrecy by openly discussing her herpes diagnosis and subsequent health journey on social media.
For eight years, Lana hid her diagnosis from everyone, sharing this burden only with her sister and intimate partners.
'I carried enormous shame. It made me feel dirty, gross, unwanted, you name it.
“Disclosure conversations were the most terrifying thing in the world for me.
“My self-esteem deteriorated, causing me to date low-caliber men who I thought would accept me, instead of pursuing relationships that truly aligned with my values.”
Navigating relationships with herpes added a new layer of complexity to Lana's life.
Disclosure conversations were fraught with fear, and sometimes even ended relationships before they could move to a sexual phase out of fear.
'Sometimes it stopped me from even being in a relationship with someone because I was too scared.
“But over time I discovered that building trust in myself allowed me to approach these conversations differently.
Lana grew up in a conservative Christian household with minimal sex education and her understanding of sexual safety was severely limited
Fortunately, Lana's outbreaks have become less frequent over the years, and some have even stopped altogether, but she still takes medication when she sees a new partner as an “extra precaution.”
“I've gotten to a point where I no longer hoped that a new love interest would accept me.
“I openly tell them I have herpes before the relationship progresses, and whether they choose to leave or stay is up to them.”
Fortunately, Lana's outbreaks have become less frequent over the years, with some even stopping altogether, but she still takes medication when she sees a new partner as an “extra precaution.”
More than eight years after her diagnosis, Lana is not only in a place where having herpes doesn't affect the way she feels about herself, but she is also committed to helping others battling STDs, knowing that they don't being alone.
'I have been on an intensive healing journey examining all the things in my life that cause me shame.
'I started my podcast (Your Inner Spark) earlier this year and talk about things I've experienced, such as sexual violence and my past with an eating disorder.
“I've found that when I use my voice and speak about these things publicly, I feel less shame about it.
“However, herpes was something that felt like a whole different level of shame, and I thought there was no way I could speak openly about that topic.”
Lana continues, “My decision changed when I found out that two of my close friends were also HSV positive, and it broke my heart that we didn't feel safe enough to tell each other sooner.
'If there are two people in my immediate environment who are also having a hard time, how many others are there?
“At the end of October, I released a podcast episode where I told the whole world that I had herpes and that I was done being ashamed of it.
More than eight years after her diagnosis, Lana is not only in a place where having herpes doesn't affect the way she feels about herself, but she is also committed to helping others fight STDs knowing they don't have the be the only one.
'I wanted to start a conversation about it. I wanted others to know that this doesn't make them any less valuable.
'I wanted others to know they didn't have to be ashamed. By doing this, I have also been able to regain my power over this virus.”
Lana's journey of truth also led her to TikTok, where she openly discusses herpes, resulting in a flood of posts from others with the same diagnosis.
Many admitted that they were also too scared or ashamed to talk openly about their experiences.
'It really showed me how much more education and support we need, because it really impacts so many of us.
“My goal is to continue these conversations and create a supportive community where people with herpes can find understanding, acceptance, and a sense of belonging.”