A woman wonders if she is wrong for refusing to pay for her sister's wedding dress after making a joke at work.
The 28-year-old graphic designer turned to Reddit to ask whether she should hold on to her credit card after her 25-year-old sister called her job a “hobby.”
She explained that while she had agreed to pay for her sibling's dream wedding, she no longer wanted to do so because of the “disrespectful” comment about her career.
To the Am I the hole? subreddit, the graphic designer asked people online for advice, adding that she feels “torn” because she wants to “support” her sibling but is hurt by the comment.
A woman wonders if she's wrong for refusing to pay for her sister's wedding dress after making a joke at work
She wrote: 'I (28F) am a self-taught graphic designer and have worked hard to build my career. My sister (25F), on the other hand, has always been critical of my work, calling it a 'hobby' and not a 'real job'.
“Our parents passed away a few years ago, and since then I've been more of a parental figure to her. We've had our ups and downs, but I've always tried to support her.'
She explained that her sister recently got engaged and was very excited to start wedding planning.
However, when she discovered that the wedding dress of her dreams was beyond her budget, she asked her older sister for help.
'She knew I had saved some money and asked if I could afford it as a wedding gift. “I agreed because I wanted her to be happy,” she explained.
However, just days after agreeing to hand over her credit card to make her sister happy, she wondered if she had made the right decision.
During a family dinner, the younger sister made a snarky comment about her older sister's job as a graphic designer.
The 28-year-old recalled, “However, a few days ago we had a family gathering where she introduced her fiancé to our extended family.”
The 28-year-old graphic designer took to Reddit to question whether she should hold on to her credit card after her sister, 25, called her work a “hobby” (stock image)
“During dinner, she made a snide comment about my career, suggesting I was still 'playing with my computer' while others had real jobs,” the graphic designer explained.
She was immediately injured and confronted her sister about it. However, the conversation quickly turned into an argument.
The graphic designer said: 'Things escalated and I told her that if she didn't respect my career, she shouldn't expect me to finance her wedding dress with the money I made from it.
“She accused me of ruining her wedding and being petty.”
At the end of her message she said: 'I'm torn. I want to support her, but I also feel disrespected.”
She then wondered if she was an “asshole” for no longer wanting to pay for the dress.
People flooded the comments section and ran to the graphic designer's defense while calling her younger sister “greedy.”
One person said: 'Not the hole. It would be a nice gesture to pay for her dress, but it is not your responsibility. It would be the kind of generous gesture reserved for people who treat you with respect.
People flooded the comments section and ran to the graphic designer's defense while calling her younger sister 'greedy'
“I'd probably ask your sister something along the lines of, 'Do you really want your wedding dress paid for with the money from my illegitimate career?' It would be a permanent emotional stain on your dress, and I wouldn't want you to do that.” regret that in the long run.” She's not cool with what you're doing, but wants the money you make from it. I think she'd do well to live within her means and not bite the hand that feeds her .
'ETA: She ruined her own wedding, and you had nothing to do with it. Firstly, by thinking that a dress can ruin a wedding (celebrating a commitment to her life partner whom she loves should be the focus), and secondly, by the aforementioned snobbery/greed.'
Someone else added, “She could be jealous and insecure because OP has a prosperous career and her life together. '
“Yes, too immature to get married,” another commented.
One user added: 'Lol no why are you even torn about this? Imagine being entitled enough to ask someone to finance an expensive frivolity that you can't afford in one breath, and then insult the means by which they would finance it in the next breath? No, a wedding dress is not frivolous, but an unaffordable one is. What kind of message would paying for something after she treated you like that would send? Have some self-respect and tell her that if she wants a dress, she can go play on her own computer for money. No apology will even be sincere at this point.
“Not that hole, of course.”
A fourth person commented: 'Yes. Never bite the hand that feeds you.'
'Not the hole. She's trying to put you down so she can feel like a better, more successful sister. She knows that your job is 'real' and that you make good money. If not, how can you pay for a dress she can't buy? And yet she insults you… I think she's jealous because you have a job that you really like. OP, you don't owe her anything,” one commenter wrote.