- The woman, from the US, sought advice from Slate’s Dear Prudence column
- She explained that she had offered childcare to her pregnant stepdaughter
- “She treats me like I don’t have a functional brain,” the entry read
A woman is shocked by her stepdaughter’s crazy list of demands when she offered to babysit her newborn daughter.
The anonymous woman, from the US, used the signature ‘Regretting It’ when she asked for advice Slate’s sweet caution column earlier this month.
She explained that her pregnant stepdaughter, who was the breadwinner in her relationship, wanted to return to work immediately after giving birth.
“They don’t want to pay for childcare and I would love to help but she treats me like I don’t have a functional brain,” the submission read.
The anonymous woman from the US used the signature ‘Regretting It’ when she asked for advice in Slate’s ‘Dear Prudence’ column (stock image)
The anonymous submission explained that the woman’s husband had twin daughters while still in college, before the couple then welcomed three children together in their late 30s.
She revealed that she was primarily a stay-at-home mom but worked part-time flexible hours for a family business.
The woman then said she was surprised after receiving an extensive list of rules from her stepdaughter following her offer to help with childcare once the baby arrives.
“I actually got a book emailed to me about what not to do with the baby – from sleep schedules to hand-making organic baby food,” she said.
“There were footnotes. The baby isn’t even here yet.’
Explaining that her own youngest child was 11, she mused, “Parenting hasn’t changed that much in 10 years.
‘Our relationship has always been a challenge. Unlike her sister, she never responded well to her parents leading an independent life.’
The woman claimed that her stepdaughter also “almost disrupted her relationship with her own mother” before concluding: “I understand she’s a nervous new mom, but I’m already regretting the offer. My husband insists that everything will be fine. I’m not so sure.’
She explained that her pregnant stepdaughter, who was the breadwinner in her relationship, wanted to return to work immediately after giving birth (stock image)
Prudence responded to the entry with a thoughtful response that began by urging the woman to have an honest conversation with her stepdaughter.
“Here’s what you should say to her: ‘Before the baby comes, let’s talk about what it would be like for me to babysit.’ I want to make sure this will be a good fit for both of us, and I hope to avoid any conflict or miscommunication that could stress you out once you become a mother,” said Prudence.
The advice columnist suggested that the woman ask appropriate questions about various topics, including diet and schedules.
“You can share your very real concerns that you may not be able to meet her expectations, and that there is no plan yet for the two of you to resolve any conflicts,” Prudence said.
“It is possible that the exchange will be productive.”
FinallyPrudence advised that, depending on the outcome of the conversation, the woman could gently suggest that the baby “might be better off in the hands of a professional” with the offer of babysitting once a week.