Woman documents her $7,600 a week stay at the A-list-loved wellness retreat The Ranch Malibu

A TikTok user is giving a behind-the-scenes look at the celebrity-loved wellness retreat The Ranch Malibu, from the 5 a.m. wakeups with Tibetan chimes to the daily 12-mile hikes. 

Tara, who is known as one-third of @stanfordtrio, has spent the past week vlogging about the luxury health program, which costs a whopping $7,600 per person for six nights in a double occupancy room, the least expensive option. 

The Stanford University graduate’s videos chronicle how she is ‘surviving celebrity fat camp’ and cover everything from her grueling daily fitness schedule to the organic plant-based cuisine.  

‘It’s not like a weight loss camp, even though that’s how I referred to it in some of my early videos, because I feel like that’s how people know it. It’s really like a wellness retreat,’ she clarified. 

‘Some people are here because they really like hiking and see it as a fun opportunity to hike a bunch. Some people are here for the physical challenge of doing really intense physical activity. Other people are here for the spiritual immersion and detox and nature.’

Tara said she was personally interested in eating a ‘really raw and healthy diet,’ and while she wouldn’t mind losing a few pounds, that’s not her ‘primary goal’ and ‘not the overarching energy when you’re here.’ 

She is sharing a room with her mother at The Ranch, which has hosted the likes of Rebel Wilson, Brooke Shields, Mandy Moore, and Angela Bassett.

Tara’s mornings at the retreat start before sunrise with a gentle wakeup with Tibetan chimes at 5 a.m. A half-hour later, she and the rest of the group meet in the barn for a guided stretch.

On her first day, she was served avocado on seed crackers with a side of raw cucumber and tomato for breakfast. Her other morning meals included a chickpea frittata with green salsa and kale and oatmeal and berries with fresh almond milk. 

The Ranch house is located up a hill, so literally every time you want to go to a meal or anything, you gotta work,’ she explained while trekking to breakfast. 

The group then embarks on a four-hour mountain in the blazing California sun, the distance ranging from 8 to 12 miles. They all carry backpacks filled with walkie-talkies, plenty of water, electrolyte tabs, and disposable biohazard bags for human waste. 

‘They’re famous for sending people out on like 12 miles hikes with five almonds as a snack,’ she said, holding up her bag of nuts. 

On another day, she was given an apple with sprinkled with volcanic salt known, which they call ‘Ranch caviar.’ 

The hikes are meant to be meditative, and before they set off, they are told to ‘walk into nature and find its good tidings.’

Tara added that guides — who are all ‘movie-star handsome’ — are often heard saying, ‘Water, water, water,’ to remind them to hydrate. 

She explained that they hike down a ‘massive hill’ only to trek back up it when they got to the bottom. She drinks three liters of water while out in the sun. 

‘This is so hard, and for context, I’m the second fastest,’ she said while dripping with sweat. ‘Oh my God, how will I survive?’ 

In one video, a guide can be overheard telling guests: ‘You can’t live in the past or the future because it does not exist. What you are experiencing is either from your memory or your imagination. The present is all you really have.’ 

Tara had a scare one morning when they saw a ‘massive rattlesnake,’ which isn’t unusual in the California mountains. They carried rocks for protection, though one guest assured her that snakes are a sign of health prosperity, and fertility.  

Guests have lunch after the hike, which is sometimes served on the beach. One typical mid-day meal is watermelon juice with a hummus and quinoa salad and seed crackers. 

After lunch, they have some downtime in their cabins before heading to a fitness class, which could be held in the barn or the pool. 

‘I just realized I am chewing some gum, which is actually illegal here. So, do I spit it out? Do I swallow it?’ Tara asked in one video. ‘I don’t know.’ 

They get a snack after fitness class, and she filmed herself munching on a raspberry oat cookie with her mother, who put a ‘protein sludge’ on hers. 

‘When we get hungry, we come to this tree of unidentifiable fruit and forage,’ she said, panning the camera to her mom. 

The Ranch may be boot camp, but there are plenty of luxury amenities. Guests’ laundry is done daily, and they all enjoy afternoon massages followed by restorative yoga. 

Tara and her mom have been treated to footbaths and cold plunging to treat their sore feet and ankles. There is also a staffer who helps her treat her blisters before her morning hikes. 

Dinner kicks off with a ‘bowl of lettuce every day,’ according to her videos.

One evening Tara was served a poblano pepper paired with black beans, quinoa, enchilada sauce, and cashew sour cream. On another, she had pesto pizza with cauliflower crust and nut-based cheese. 

After 13 hours of fitness and pampering, Tara and her mom head back to their room with tea at 6:30 to get ready for bed. 

In her most recent video, she had to go into the Bod Pod — an egg-shaped device that measures weight and volume to determine body density and calculate body fat percentage.

‘As far as I can gather, [the Bod Pod] is just made to body shame you and tell you you’re fat,’ she said. I looked like a dumba** the whole time and felt like I was getting abducted by aliens — and they had these problematic body posters on the wall.’

Commenters have been comparing the retreat to the Hulu series Nine Perfect Strangers, which is based on Liane Moriarty’s 2018 novel of the same name.

The drama stars Nicole Kidman as the owner of an extreme health and wellness resort in a fictional California town that isn’t what it seems. 

‘It’s giving Nine Perfect Strangers,’ one viewer wrote, while another added: ‘This sounds like the show [Nine] Perfect Strangers.’

‘Splash of cult vibes! But beautiful!!!’ someone else added. ‘Thanks for the undercover reporting!’