A woman has sparked a heated debate after revealing she skipped her friend’s wedding party to go to a bar because the lovebirds weren’t serving booze.
The unknown guest wrote on Reddit about her experiences at her friend’s “boring” wedding, confessing that she told others at the party that she was leaving early to go to a bar.
She admitted she expected to get drunk at her friend’s wedding, but was shocked to learn it was a “dry wedding” because the groom was “two years sober.”
The anonymous user explained that the groom’s friends all stayed for the party afterward, while the bride’s friends all ditched her to celebrate elsewhere.
In the ‘Am I the asshole’ subreddit, the guest wondered if it was her fault for leaving her friend’s wedding to get drunk with other guests.
A woman has sparked a heated debate after revealing she skipped her friend’s wedding party to go to a bar because the lovebirds weren’t serving booze (stock image)
So two weeks ago, I, [a 35-year-old female]’, went to a wedding in our college town for a member of our college friend group,’ she wrote.
My husband and I left the kids with my parents and we went. We got a [rental home] with another couple who I was going to college with for a few days. My husband and I don’t have much time to ourselves away from the kids, so we were excited to let loose.’
The Reddit user said the wedding lasted until 11pm, with “an afterparty with the bride and groom at the venue.”
‘The venue was a beautiful country house and the bride and groom stayed there that night, leaving the next morning for their honeymoon,’ she added.
Although they were initially very excited to attend the wedding, their excitement quickly turned to disappointment once they arrived.
“Cut to the wedding day and it’s a dry wedding. Apparently the groom has been sober for two years. No one told us and we were honestly disappointed,” the original poster read.
And when the couple realized they weren’t going to party with a drink in hand, they decided to take their fun elsewhere.
The bride’s friend explained that she then told the other guests that she was going to a bar instead of her friend’s party.
The unknown guest took to Reddit to detail her experiences at her friend’s “boring” wedding, confessing that she told others at the event that she was leaving early to go to a bar.
‘“We left the wedding at 9:30 because we wanted to get out and the wedding was boring,” she added.
She explained that even though the ceremony was at 5pm and the wedding was at 6pm, the bride was still disappointed when they left at 9:30pm.
“Almost the entire college crew left around that time and went out. Apparently, the bride’s group of friends didn’t stay for the party, but the groom’s did, and the optics were very skewed at the party,” she continued.
“We all heard it from the bride and she called us assholes for leaving. She said she felt unsupported and felt like we were bullying her current husband for his sobriety. I told her she was reading too much into it.
“We just wanted to go out. She’s mostly mad at me because I’m seen as the leader of this outing.”
At the end of the post, the user admitted that she didn’t think she had done anything “wrong” and questioned whether she was really such an “asshole.”
Many people on the Internet filled the comments section of the thread, criticizing the bride’s friend for her behavior.
Someone said: ‘You’re the a**hole. You’re going to hear a lot of “if you can’t have fun without alcohol then you have a serious addiction problem and you’re worthless” but I completely disagree with that sentiment and I think it completely misses the point so I want to make it clear that this is not why I’m voting for YTA (you’re the a**hole).
‘I think couples should communicate this in advance so that people can take it into account, as alcohol at weddings is the norm.
Many people online flooded the comments section of the thread, criticizing the bride’s friend for her behavior
“But you’re an asshole for this: ‘We told people we were going to some bars afterwards and not the afterparty. We left the wedding at 9:30 p.m.’
“You were at her wedding chatting, and then you formed a whole group to leave her party early. That’s a bad friend. Skipping her dry after the party and going out afterwards would be totally fine, even expected, but leaving the wedding early and taking a group with you??? Yeah, you suck super super hard.
‘She’s trying to support her current husband and she’s going to continue to support him for the rest of the marriage and you couldn’t support your boyfriend for even 1.5 hours longer? Life isn’t just about doing what you want to do. You run on a greedy algorithm, you only choose what makes you happy at that moment, other people can go to hell, and that’s not what makes a good person.
“Sometimes we have to endure long ceremonies for our brothers and sisters. Sometimes we have to go to boring art shows for our friends. Sometimes we have to attend boring parties to celebrate the people we love. Get over it!”
Another user added: ‘I want to call you out, not the asshole. If you had just calmly left and not spoken to groups of people about it, you would have gotten that judgement.
“Unfortunately, you’re the asshole. You told all your friends that this sucked and that you were going to get drunk, and you became a leader for the group of friends to follow.”
Someone else wrote: “You’re the asshole. That’s a pretty shitty way to treat a “friend”. Basically you all bailed on her wedding celebration, and I’m guessing she was looking forward to celebrating her wedding with her “friends”. That’s why you were invited. And it was a reasonable expectation from her that you would actually want to celebrate her wedding, since you went.
“Honestly, weddings should be attended to celebrate and support the marriage of friends and/or family, drinking should never be a necessity. Even if you were disappointed by the alcohol, celebrating and being happy for your friend should take priority over getting drunk.”
One user added: ‘You are the asshole. I’m going to get downvoted because people seem to hate boring weddings but as someone with a partner in recovery I will never understand why people can’t go one night without you to support someone you supposedly care about. You chose to get drunk instead of spending time with your friends for the whole reason you were out in the first place.’
However, other users sided with the girlfriend and claimed she had stayed long enough, sparking a heated debate in the comments section
However, other users sided with the girlfriend, claiming that she had stayed long enough, sparking a heated debate in the comments section.
Someone wrote: ‘Not that asshole. 10pm is a perfectly good time to leave a wedding. Some guests started streaming out of my wedding around 8pm and I didn’t cry, I just hugged them and thanked them sincerely for coming.’
Someone else commented: ‘Not the asshole who leaves. I think it would be polite to say NOTHING when you leave. But I don’t think it’s an asshole thing to do to leave a wedding at 9:30. If you were picking up your kids or something, I don’t think she’d be mad.
“She’s upset because she’s embarrassed. And she’s just embarrassed because ALL her friends left. You’re not responsible for everyone’s actions. And I’ve never heard of a wedding “after party.”
A user added: ‘Not that asshole. 9:30 is a perfectly good time to leave an event. At my wedding, people left earlier than that for various reasons, and that’s fine.
“If you’re planning something that goes late into the evening, it’s your job as the host to entertain your guests. If they’re not entertained and leave en masse before it’s over, that’s your fault.”
“Don’t be that asshole, that’s what you get when you surprise your guests with a boring wedding,” someone responded.