A woman has revealed how her friendship fell apart after she pulled out of her best friend’s wedding to support her partner’s terminally ill father.
The unnamed British woman, 24, posted on Reddit on Aug. 17 to ask fellow users if she made the right choice after being met with hostility by the bride.
Using a disposable account called @Acrobatic_Bug_5295, the woman went into detail about her situation on the subreddit, “AmITheA**hole?”
The after garnered a staggering 4.8K upvotes and over 1,000 comments – and many agreed that she should prioritize her partner’s quickly ill father over a wedding, whether it’s her best friend or not.
The Reddit user – who captioned the post as “AITA for telling my best friend I’m not going to her wedding?” — stated that her best friend, 22, is getting married in less than three weeks.
A woman has revealed how her friendship broke down after she pulled out of her best friend’s wedding to support her partner’s terminally ill father (Photo: Shutterstock)
She wrote, “I was supposed to be a bridesmaid, and I’ve been excited for the wedding since getting engaged.
“I helped make decisions about the wedding, bachelorette party and bought my bridesmaid dress and booked my hotel.
The woman then explains her relationship with her 24-year-old boyfriend, with whom she has been together for two and a half years and has known for ten years.
She said, “When we first became a couple, he told me his father has terminal lung cancer. Three months ago we found out it had spread to his brain and he had three months to live.
Over time, his health began to deteriorate, and then suddenly in the past month.
“All of this made us miss bachelorette party because we didn’t want to leave my partner’s dad (my best friend and I live 2 hours apart and we don’t drive.”
Referring to alternative travel options to reach her boyfriend, she continued: “Trains are expensive and take even longer than a car, so a last-minute rush from the bachelor party to his dad would be next to impossible if something happened.” ‘
The user then stated that her partner’s father is nearing the end of his prognosis and currently in the final stages of his terminal illness, but her best friend was only getting harder and more demanding.
She wrote, “A few weeks ago my best friend told me to give my friend’s father priority at the wedding. But a few days ago she demanded an answer whether we would be there or not.
Uncertain about what will happen at the last minute, we have decided not to attend. We were devastated that we won’t be there.’
The unnamed British woman, 24, posted on Reddit to ask fellow users if she made the right choice after being met with hostility by the bride
The woman then described the nasty reaction she received from the bride, who went to great lengths to exclude her from the wedding.
She said, “She took a screenshot of my reply and immediately kicked me out of the bridesmaids group chat. Then she ignored me for a few days.
When she finally responded, she said she understood why my partner wasn’t there, but didn’t understand why I wasn’t there.
“I explained that I refuse to leave my partner alone during one of the most difficult things he will go through, and that his father is also a father figure to me.”
She added: ‘I am also disabled and have not traveled alone since 2019. She is still very upset and angry and ignores me again. So I’m confused. Am I the bastard?’
The woman was offered an overwhelming amount of support and words of encouragement to trust her gut and push through a difficult decision.
One user said, ‘NTA. Being there for your partner when you lose a parent is paramount.’
Another agreed, writing, “This person is not your friend. A true friend would understand this situation and would not expect you to abandon your friend and his family if his father dies for any reason.”
Some people gave more balanced, neutral responses when sharing their support, saying, “Sometimes life presents us with a situation where we can’t win, and you just have to go with your gut. Don’t feel guilty that you made your choice.’
Another person wrote along the same lines, “You support your partner. This could be the last few moments that you both see your boyfriend’s dad.
“However, the bride has a right to be upset because one of her best friends isn’t there, but her actions have been blown out of the water and shouldn’t have acted that way.”
The woman received an overwhelming amount of support and words of encouragement in the mail as she trusted her gut and pushed through a difficult decision
One user looked at the situation from the bride’s perspective and bluntly suggested that the original poster could have handled the situation in a different way.
They said, “Your partner’s father has been terminally ill for at least 2.5 years. That’s a good time to work on processing what’s happening.
“You already missed the bachelorette party because he could die any minute, he didn’t. She had to ask you if you were still going to the wedding, and again, you’re not coming because he could die any minute.
“I’m guessing if he died right before the wedding it wouldn’t be a big deal, she’d be upset, but she’d totally understand.
“She feels displaced by something that didn’t happen, and despite the inevitability that it might not happen until after the wedding.”
Then they asked, ‘Speak! This is not something to do through messages.”
The wife’s dilemma isn’t the first time a person with a terminal illness has come between a ruthless bridezilla and her big day.
In 2022, a bride revealed she wanted to keep older guests from her wedding because her fiancé’s grandmother with Alzheimer’s is “depressing” and “could ruin the day.”