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A heartbroken woman has sparked a furious debate online after asking for opinions on whether it’s acceptable to take time off from work to deal with a breakup.
Go to the parenting forum mumsnetasked the anonymous user, who is believed to live in the UK, whether it was unreasonable for her to want to take sick leave to cope with ‘turmoil’ caused by her split.
Her post received a range of reactions – but while some posters sympathized with her problems, others told her to “grow up” rather than wallow.
She wrote: ‘I’m going through a terrible breakup. We were together for a long time and we have a young child (under two).
An anonymous Mumsnet user posted that she was sitting at her desk crying because of her breakdown, and asked others if they think it’s okay to call in sick for heartbreak (stock image)
The anonymous Mumsnet user revealed she is struggling to come to terms with the breakdown of her relationship and asked if people would be okay with her taking time off from work
“I am devastated and I wake up every day and immediately burst into tears when the reality of my life hits.
“I have a nauseous feeling in my stomach all the time. I just want this to stop and go back to how it was before this happened.
‘My health history at work is not good, I have physical health problems that flare up this year and I had to take time off for that.
“My job is mentally demanding and it’s not the kind of environment where it’s a good idea to be emotionally vulnerable. Yet inside I am in total turmoil.
However, she added in response to another poster who suggested that she should take time off work, she feared that due to sick leave, she would be exposed to the judgment of others.
‘Please help? Can I be released from work for this? Do people take time off for breakups if they feel like me?’
In response, one user wrote: ‘Can you speak to your doctor? Maybe they can give you a week for stress?’
To which the woman replied, “I could, I’m just afraid some people will think I work.”
She added: ‘Would you condemn a colleague for being absent for this reason? I hate to disappoint people, but I just feel like I can’t do it anymore. I want to curl up in a ball and cry all day.’
The answers to the question were mixed – while some agreed that free time would be a good idea, others felt that it could look bad and that maybe it would be better to move on and use work as a distraction from the heartache.
A number of respondents suggested that taking time off work might be a good idea – and even save time in the long run by facilitating her recovery.
One wrote: ‘I personally wouldn’t [take time off] but it sounds like you’re having a really hard time. I think it’s best you maybe go get a sick note.’
Another agreed, writing: ‘I wouldn’t judge a colleague for being sick from the stress of a breakup. No.’
A third added: “Some people will judge you, but no one who has ever experienced it. You should go see your doctor anyway.’
Meanwhile, a fourth revealed they hadn’t taken time off when their husbands passed away – but in hindsight, it probably would have been better if they had.
De wrote: ‘I continued after my dear husband died. My employer was very sympathetic and allowed flexibility and a lot of working from home, so I did what I could and tried not to let anyone down.
‘In retrospect, it would have been much better for everyone if I had only been ill for a few weeks.
“People are generally more sympathetic to a death, but the grief response is the same, as are many of the practical problems you face. Take care of yourself now and in the long run you will be a better employee.’
Other Mumsnetters thought the poster should ‘grow up’ and not take time off because of her breakup
But some thought it was a bad idea to take time off from work — especially if the person had already called in sick, as the woman noted in her original post.
The original poster stated that she had already taken six days of sick leave from work due to a physical condition that sometimes flared up. But she said her colleagues didn’t have to clean up the slack.
When discussing what their own reaction would be if a colleague took time off due to heartbreak, one respondent wrote: ‘Frankly, with what you’ve said about your absence history, yes, I’d rate you. Needing a day to pull yourself together is one thing, but that’s not what you’re suggesting, is it?
‘You’re going through a breakup’ – that’s hard, but how long will it last? Do you want to be free from work all the time? And then again when it’s really over?’
Another added: ‘As a one-off for a colleague with a good turnout, I would be very sympathetic.
“If another absence for various reasons, I would honestly feel frustrated with them. Especially because absence puts everyone under pressure.’
A third wrote: ‘In response to this, as a one-off for a colleague with a good turnout, I would be very sympathetic.
“If another absence for various reasons, I would honestly feel frustrated with them. Especially because absence puts everyone under pressure.’